How To Banish Negative Thinking
Are you being plagued by the same old, repetitive negative thoughts patterns? Perhaps you worry a lot, you may even, worry about the amount of time you spend worrying or the amount of time you spend thinking, negative thoughts?
You may have been told, that our thoughts create our reality, so you should monitor and change all your negative thoughts, to positive ones.
If you have been told this, then it is not necessary the best of advice, as it can lead you to try and suppress your thoughts and it can even make you become fearful of your thoughts.
Thinking positive and learning constructive thinking skills, is important, because our thoughts can affect how we feel, they can even determine our actions and behaviors, but you should not feel bad or scared, if you have any negative thoughts.
Your thoughts are a part of you, yes they might need changing, but believing that your negative thoughts are bad, so the must be forcefully stopped, defeated or changed, will lead to thought suppression tactics, which make you feel a whole lot worse.
It is not so much our thoughts that affect our reality, our emotional well-being and our wellness; it is the ressiting and suppressing of our thoughts, that causes all the stress, disharmony, unhappiness, fear and negativity.
It is OK to have negative thoughts and feelings and it is perfectly normal to have problems. The secret is, how you react to your thoughts, problems and your external situations.
Your can either allow your thoughts, experiences, problems or circumstances to diminish you and disempower you or you can use them to motivate and inspire you, to make you wiser, stronger and better.
The thoughts are not the biggest issue for you, thoughts are just thoughts. It is the amount of emotional attachment and significance, you give, to the negative thoughts, which is cultivating all the negative feelings and maintaining the cycle and patterns of more negative thoughts and feelings.
Trying to force yourself to think positive or telling yourself you never want to think negative thoughts will lead you down the path of becoming obsessed about your thoughts, which leads to more negative resistance, which just makes things worse.
Life becomes a lot easier, when you cease trying to resist and suppress your negative thoughts and feelings, and you start to allow yourself to feel scared, anxious, uncomfortable, frustrated, disappointed and even sad.
What is more important than your thoughts, is how you think and feel about yourself, therefore it is important for you to:
- Like and be happy with who you are
- Love and accept yourself unconditionally
- Love, accept and approve of yourself, the way you are
- Tell yourself, you are worthy and loveable
One of the most demeaning things that you could ever do to yourself, is not loving and accepting yourself and thinking that there is something wrong with you or you need to improve.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself and your life skills, but never think that you need to improve, because, there is nothing wrong with you.
Another thing that can lead to anxious thinking and negative thoughts, is trying to be perfect, because perfectionism can lead to obsession, especially the obsession to try and stop thinking negative thoughts or the obsession of trying to be perfect.
Like not allowing yourself to make mistakes, fear of showing yourself up or embarrass yourself or the fear of getting things wrong,
Cultivating positive and calm feelings and emotions
Positive and negative energy, both shape human realities, experiences and behaviors, but the two will offer you, completely different ways of feeling and living.
A positive psychology, positive feelings and emotions create, better health, better well being and a better life.
At the opposite end of the spectrum, which is the place you want to avoid, are the negative feelings and emotions, which are linked to poor health, poor wellbeing and negative outcomes.
Negative energy, can be described as being a low, heavy and dense vibrational, bad feeling energy.
On the other hand, positive energy is a high vibrational, light and great feeling energy, as we all want to feel great, feeling calm and good, should be everybody's number one priority.
As a figure of speech; you could say that, both positive energy and negative energy are trying to recruit you, as they both battle it out, to be the dominant energy force.
Although you should not suppress, try to stop or resist your negative thoughts and feelings.
Your thoughts and spoken words, matter, as they can have a directly impact on how you feel, what you do and what you become.
Because, positive words and thoughts are natures feel good tonic, which will motivate you, inspire you, uplift you and empower you tremendously.
You have the choice to decide, whether you wish to feed, fuel and experience negative energy and outcomes.
Or whether you wish to feed, fuel and experience positive, good feeling energy and positive experiences and outcomes.
Because the thoughts you think, the words you speak and how you choose to feel, is entirely up to you.
Developing a positive attitude and mindset
We all have our own insecurities, beliefs, worries, fears, self doubts and bad thinking errors and we all have our own ways of perceiving ourselves and our capabilities.
Some people are more positive and optimistic, these are the glass half full type, who perceive themselves as being confident, smart and they have a strong faith in their own abilities.
Others, are more fearful and insecure, these are the glass half empty type, who have less faith in their own abilities and they constantly doubt and think about the worse case scenario.
The positive type will tend to excel more, in nearly all areas of their life, because they will think and talk themselves into taking on new challenges, they will take risks and they will step out of their comfort zone and they will say or go for the things they want.
The more negative and insecure type, will tend to stay in their comfort zone and they will either shy away for taking on new challenges, they will play it safe or they will hesitate, avoid or talk themselves out of, saying or going for the things that they want.
How we perceive ourselves, how we talk to ourselves as well as our thoughts, beliefs, programming, habits and our experiences, help to form our self image.
Our self image is; how we view ourselves, internally and externally, including. What we think we're capable of, how smart we think we are, how attractive we think we are, how capable we think we are and all our other traits and characteristics.
If you have a positive self image of yourself, you thought process will probably more positive and optimistic, which will help you many positive and beneficial ways, throughout your life.
A positive attitude, self image and psychology has been linked with, better health, better well-being, better relationships, longer life, giving you a greater chances of succeeding and winning at life.
Because our thought processes and self image, can influence, how we perceive ourselves, whether we think we are good enough, smart enough, attractive enough and how capable and confident, we think we are.
This can impact, how we see ourselves internally and externally, our levels of social skills, our physical and mental skills, how well we interact with others, how high we value ourselves how well we do in our careers, how we feel and who and what we are.
A positive mindset and self image, will empower you, motivate you and inspire you as well, making you believe in yourself and your abilities, as helping to make you feel good about yourself, boosting you on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.
Years of negative thinking and conditioning, either by yourself or from others, will disempower you, demotivate you, diminish you, creating havoc with you, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Negative thinkers and insecure people, tend to spend too much time focussing on their perceived weaknesses and flaws, and then they exaggerate them and magnify them.
They also carry their emotional baggage around with them and they spend too much time worrying about the worse case scenario and focusing on their failures, setbacks and mistakes.
A negative minded person, spends most of their time, emotionally suffering where they constantly allow their negative past and negative thought processes, to negatively influence and impact, their now and their future.
To create a positive self image, you need a new positive mindset.
This should involve, accepting yourself, including your flaws, weaknesses and weak points,
Start to see yourself as a highly capable and worthy person, trust and know, that everything will workout for you and you'll figure every out.
Learn to like and believe in yourself and start to see yourself as a smart, attractive and highly capable person.
Be the person you want to be, by using your powerful mind, to help you work things out, overcome problems and to be more creative, because your mind is a very powerful tool, once you get it working for, instead of against you.
Learn how to quickly bounce back from adversity
We all experience and have to face bad, difficult, upsetting, negative experiences and hard times and you cannot always escape negative thoughts and feelings.
What really matters, how you react to and how you perceive your negative experiences and how quickly you bounce back from adversity.
So how to you go about dealing with your negative, anxious or repetitive thoughts?
Many people will probably advise you to be aware of any negative thoughts and change them to positive ones.
Sounds simple, enough in theory.
But when you put into practice it is not always that simple.
The reason for this is, if you have been thinking negative now, for quite some time.
Then it is not that easy to just jump from negative thinking and feeling to positive thinking.
For many, the transition will take a little bit more work.
To start with, it is hard to think positive, if you don't feel it.
Sometimes you have to pave the way a little bit and the first step is to end all the negative resistance and feelings that are underpinning your negative thought processes.
Although our thoughts affect how we feel
Our emotional and physical state, also affects our train of thoughts.
Therefore, to change your thought process it is incredibly important to change the way you feel as well.
We experience negative resistance:
- When you cannot find an immediate solution to our problems
- When you won't accept what is or what were worrying about
- When you try and fight, defeat, get rid of, suppress or blockout our thoughts and feelings
- When you focus on what you don't want
What often drives our negative thought processes, is when you are projecting a negative, scary or pessimistic future or when you perceive things as being hopeless.
This perceptions and assumptions, can leave you feeling stuck, limited, insecure or fearful.
The truth is. You have not got to accept, that where you are at this present moment is where you're going to stay.
Because it doesn't matter how bad things are or where you are now.
As long as you have an inner knowing and strong faith that things are going to get better or you think that there is something greater coming.
Remember, the worse case scenario is only one way of perceiving a situation and there are many better alternatives.
How to prevent those runaway and overwhelming, negative thoughts, feelings and emotions
One of the most common mistakes people make, when they're thinking negative or they're having unwanted and repetitive negative thoughts, is:
They deliberately try to hard to get rid of or suppress their negative and unwanted thoughts.
The truth is, it is OK to have a bad day, it is OK to make mistakes and it is OK to fail, but instead of allowing your experiences to get you down, use them to learn and get better.
When you deliberately try to feel or to not to feel or think something.
Then this means, that you're really trying to hard.
Where so many people go wrong is, they allow the negative momentum to accumulate and build up.
The key is to try and soothe, change and ease any thoughts and feelings of doubt, self sabotage , anxiety or negativity, before you allow it to go too far out of control.
Sometimes we try to hard to suppress, stop or blockout our negative and unwanted, thoughts and feelings.
When really, what we should practice doing, is.
The exact opposite, where we deliberately allow our minds and bodies to experience all our thoughts and feelings, even the negative, unwanted and scary ones.
Each negative experiences is a chance to learn something and become better, stronger and wiser.
If things go wrong, you have a setback, disappointment or you make a mistake, it is OK to feel annoyed, upset or sad, just make sure you don't stay in that negative feeling place, for too long.
Learning emotional intelligence and mindfulness will help you to preventing your thoughts feelings and emotions from becoming out of control.
Your thoughts and feelings, have an active energy and they will act upon each other, a bit like a magnet, which attract, similar or the same types of thoughts, idea's and feelings
When you're thoughts and feelings are in alignment. Then you will experience balance and harmony in your mind and body, and you will experience, more pleasing and better feeling thoughts.
Negative thoughts and feelings will respond to each other and cause a split in your energy, what is known as negative resistance and you will attract more negative thoughts and feelings.
If you continue to hold yourself in a state of negative resistance, then those negative thoughts will continue, day in, day out.
Our experiences and feelings, combine themselves together to form our thought processes, which become our learned instinctive responses, habits and behaviors.
Thoughts and feelings can be a learned automatic response to an external negative experience or feared situation.
But, most of the time, our negative thoughts and feelings are an inward experience. Therefore, they will require an inward approach and solution.
Once you have attached negative and fearful feelings, sensations and responses to your experiences, they become a stored subconscious memory and instinctive responses.
If you want to free yourself from your negative and fearful, instinctive feelings, thought processes and responses.
Then you need to change or strip away, your instinctive negative responses, feelings and negative thought processes.
One thing that you can start doing straight away is.
Get into the habit of self observation. This is where you observe you mental activity, thoughts and feelings, but you train yourself not to react to them or emotionally, engage in them.
This should involve, taking a step back from your mind and the sensations in your body, and observing your negative or fearful thoughts and feelings, from detached, third person perspective.
Doing this will put a stop to all that negative resistance, tension and stress, thus preventing all the emotional arousal, anxiety and stress, that would normally follow.
Although, you may experience a bit of mild discomfort, because you cannot grow or go through life, without a bit of discomfort or suffering.
The discomfort will be mild and temporary.
Once, you are feeling more at ease, calm and balanced.
Then you can, focus on all the positive outcomes or better alternatives and ways of perceiving and doing things.
Positive and negative thoughts, feelings, behaviors and even experiences are shaped by either negative or positive repetition and reinforcement.
Therefore, a change in your perceptions and thought processes can change the way your life.
Many people just wait or hope for something good to happen, to make them feel better or to change their life for the better.
That is called conditional happiness and it is not a very good approach.
It is far better for you, to care less about what is bothering you or what you want and instead.
Give all your attention, to things or thoughts that are pleasing, enjoyable or they make you feel better.
Make it a habit to be grateful. Show more appreciation and thanks for all the good things you have or all good that surrounds you, if you look for it.
Listen to happy, relaxing or good feeling music. Watch comedy or get out in nature, focus on all the good and what could and will be, and surrender to and let go of the bad..
Have goals, wants and desires, and take action to achieve what you want and enjoy the experience. But don't care to much about the outcome or manifestation.
Two of the most powerful words, that will change things for you, as long as you follow them up with a positive statement, are.
" I feel "
You're always telling yourself.
"I feel something"
It is the words or thoughts that follow, what matter the most.
In life, you cannot stop feeling a feeling. So choice and work towards, all those positive and good feelings and emotions.
Empower yourself with better feeling thoughts and alternative ways of doing things
When you think about. The only real person that can disempower you and diminish you on a consistent basis, is yourself and your inner self talk and dialogue.
Always remember, that there is always a better way of thinking, perceiving and doing things, than worrying, thinking negative and struggling
Everytime you think a negative thought, you will strengthen, the neural pathways in your brain.
Negative thinking will disempower you tremendously, it will cause a restless mind, creating a life and future of doom, hopelessness and pessimism.
Negative thinking, is a self destructive way of thinking, which can damage your health and lead you down a road to hell and misery.
It will restrict your opportunities, prevent you from seeing better alternatives, limit you and keep you stuck in the survival state of existing.
On the flip side.
Everytime you think a positive thought. It will empower you enormously, your energy will shift to your natural feel good energy state. Your body will begin to relax and your restless mind, will begin to still.
Your mindset will shift to one of hope and optimism and in time your health and well-being will begin to improve.
Accepting the worse and accepting what is. Is one way to cease negative emotions. Making a habit to think the and expect the best case scenario can further improve things for you.
Each thought you think has an active energy attached to it.
"Things are getting better for me, all is well, everything is going to be alright, life is good, I love and approve of myself, I feel fantastic, I have so much to look forwards to, my future looks great, everything is going to workout fine, good things are coming to me"
How does that above sentence, make you feel?
Your choice of words and thoughts are the difference between, how you feel, what you do or do not become and achieve, and whether you continue to grow and expand or you stay stuck and small.
You do not need to attach any conditions to your positive thinking, just us general types of good feeling thoughts.
Your feelings and emotions, will let you know, where you attention and awareness is going.
Everything is about feeling good and positive energy.
Make it a habit to either ignore negative thoughts, challenge them or change them.
When you put to many conditions on your thinking, you will tend to focus on the lack of what you want or you will have thoughts about what you don't want.
When you can be positive and optimistic, when the evidence around your is contracting it, then you will be well on your way to becoming a better you and experiencing a better life.
The hardest part, especially as you're beginning to try and get the positive momentum going is, it is very easy to allow your past conditioning or outside influences, to control your train of thoughts.
Doesn't it feel great to know, that you have the power to determine how you feel, what you do, and what you become?
You have not got to spend all your day thinking positive, but it is important to avoid giving all your attention to negative thought patterns.
It is important to understand that, you cannot stop your negative thoughts, but you can stop them from controlling you.
There is a better world for you and a far better of feeling, that can only be accessed, when you beat your negative thinking trap and you let go of or you change your negative emotional patterns.
Being mindful, of the negative thoughts that make you feel bad, is a good place to start.
Either take no notice of them, dismiss them, override them or change them to more supportive and soothing thoughts and self statements is the key.
You can fill your mind with a newfound optimism and you can flood your body with those good feeling emotions and endorphins.
By, consciously deciding to change your beliefs and your thought processes, and when you do this and practice this repeatedly, you will free yourself from your self limitations.
What you will find is, when you eliminate your negative thinking, you and your life will begin to transform and change for the better in so many pleasing and beneficial ways.
If you think negative thoughts, it is not your fault
Many people are at conflict with themselves and their mind and body. Often, people will worry about worrying and negative thinking.
Then they assume that there must be something wrong with them or they're are a born worrier.
This is not true.
Yes, if your parents were negative, then you can pick up on their negative energy ad beliefs and this can set the benchmark for your beliefs, feelings and perceptions.
But, you have the choice to change things.
If you have developed a tendency to think negative. Then, try to avoid beating yourself up over it.
Of course. It can leave you feeling very annoyed, helpless and frustrated, when you feel as if you cannot break free from your negative thinking and emotional patterns.
We all know, that if you want to be more successful, healthier and happier, you need a positive mindset, a positive and persistent mental attitude and a shift in your belief systems.
But, it can become very tiring and exhausting, having to constantly put up with relentless bombardment of negative thoughts that are going over and over in your mind, from the moment you wake up, until the moment you fall asleep.
The trouble with negative thinking is. Even, when you do manage to fall asleep. Because your mind and body are stuck in a negative and stressful state.
This causes you to have a restless night's sleep, leaving you waking up in a negative state of being, and the whole process gets carried forwards into the new day ahead.
This is no way to feel exist or for anyone to live their life.
What many people do not realize is. Negative thinking and negative emotional patterns and responses, have been hardwired into our brains.
Many of your negative thoughts and beliefs are not the thoughts of your own choosing. When you were a young child, you did not just decide one day that you were going to think negative.
Most of your early negative conditioning was passed on to you by your family, friends, colleagues, people of authority and your societal conditioning.
The rest, is what you have inherited from your negative experiences, your, learned behaviors and your overactive imagination.
When you were very young and unaware. You had no idea, that there were better options and choices available to you, you just accepted everything that you were told, as being true.
You probably neither had an idea, that you have unlimited potential and abilities.
You were to young, to question other people's ideas, beliefs, suggestions and opinion, so you just absorbed the information and accepted.
There was no way you could, reject or challenge your conditioning, or tell yourself that you're not going to believe it.
If you're lucky enough to grow up in a positive, happy and wealthy environment. Then you might escape this way of thinking, and you will have a better start in life.
But, unfortunately most people do not fall into that category.
We have evolved to think negative or to think the worse case scenario first, because it helps to protect us and keep us alert and guarded, so we can avoid pitfalls and potential danger.
From an evolutionary point of view. In order for man/woman to be able to survive, thrive and continue.
We needed, a safety and defence mechanism, that would help to protect us and keep us safe, in a once very hostile and dangerous environment.
This is the reason why. You might tend to always think the worse case scenario first.
All your negative thought processes and emotional response patterns, have been hardwired into your brain and body system.
A little bit of negative can help to motivate you and keep you guarded and it can help you plan for a better and more positive alternative.
So long as you are using it to help you solve problems, cover all eventualities so you can plan for things going well.
You should only use your negativity to help you to to look for or focus on the positive alternative or to assist you grow and expand, learn from your mistakes or help you search for the answers you are seeking.
But, apart from that. Negative thinking is a complete waste of time and energy, that will bring you down and lead you to a life of self sabotage and self limitations.
If you often think negative thoughts, then it is not all your own fault.
Negative thinking and your fight, flight, freeze response is part of your evolutionary programming and your negative neural emotional associations which have been hardwired into your brain.
You cannot remove this safety mechanism and early warning protection mechanism from your genetic makeup.
Once, these negative neural pathways and bad feeling responses become hardwired into your brain, then the will keep on repeating the unpleasant negative emotional responses and train of thoughts.
The way to begin to change your negative emotional patterns is by changing the negative beliefs and by changing the negative neural associations and pattern recognitions.
Which will allow you to calm your mind and body, release negative resistance, rewire your brain, restore your bodies natural free flowing energy state, so you enjoy more of those sweet feeling feel good states.
Start the day off feeling good and practice keeping up the good feelings throughout the day
Life can throw up a lot of adversity and problems, all of which we observe, take on board and consequently will allow them to affect how we think and feel.
Although you cannot always control everything that happens in your environment and the world, you can control how you wish to react.
Each night you want to let go of all your negative emotional baggage, if you find that you cannot quieten your mind at night,
Practice a bit of meditation mindfulness, as you lay in bed, do not try and stop thought, instead just detach yourself from your mind, let your muscles relax and take some nice relaxing breaths.
Your objective, should not be to engage or suppress your thoughts, instead let them enter your mind, and try to relax around your thoughts.
Whatever it is that is bothering or troubling you, let it go. If you want, you can write down what is worrying or upsetting you on a piece of paper, describe how you felt, during any negative situations, in the day.
Relaxing to soothing music or listening to a hypnosis recording is a great way to destress and let go of your negative thinking.
Negative thinking arises when you give your attention to what you don't want or what you would like but you have not got.
The best time to get that positive or calm feeling momentum going is first thing in the morning.
As soon as you wake up, and before all your old baggage, or negative ways of thinking have a chance to surface.
Start to be grateful and appreciative, focus as if everything is great and think and act as if all is well.
Then try to keep the good feeling momentum going all day, this does not mean you have to think positive all day long, just be mindful of any negative thoughts and either let them go or replace them.
Deal with any problem as soon as possible
Try and deal with the root source of your negative thinking, say you're in a bad situation or a situation where you convince yourself you don't want to be in, such as a relationship or job. What you can do is, one of two things, if the situation is really bad then getting out of it.
However, you don't have to change your relationship or your job, all you have to do is change your attitude to one of accepting where you don't want to be and even better still, you can actually make a big shift in your attitude and want you go on to achieve.
Once you do that, you will also start to shift your state from negative to positive and peaceful.
Access and evaluate the situation, whatever it is that has been bothering you ask yourself how is it going to help you thinking about it and what' the actual point in thinking this way.
If thoughts are not helping or making you feel bad, then tell yourself you wish to dismiss the thoughts as they are no benefit to me.
One tip you can try to alleviate the negative emotion is to picture your thoughts on a TV.
While observing your thoughts and the images in your mind on the imaginary TV visualize yourself turning a dial that controls the sound your thoughts down.
Every time you make a statement, whether it is positive or negative your subconscious mind will take it as being true and it will proceed to do everything in its creative power to bring about those circumstances for you, your thoughts are the sowing the seeds for your future.
A typical example of a better statement would be
"All is well, and my future looks great".
Start each day off with " Today is going to be the best day of my life"
Express the negative emotion and then plan for a brighter future
If you have been having a bad time of late, then trying to jump from a negative place to a happy feel good place may take time.
Sometimes you have to progressively move up through the emotional scale, because trying to forcefully think positive when you have been feeling negative may be a bit too hard or too big of a leap.
The first thing that you should do is to express your emotions, go and watch or listen to something sad and have a good cry to release the emotion.
Then, once you have let it all out, start to focus on and plan for a better future, begin to focus on what you want instead of what you don't want or don't have.
Again, each morning and when you are about to go to sleep, be thankful, and start to tell yourself some positive words and phrases about you and your life.
These positive words and phrases do not have to be specific or a condition of anything, just use general words and thoughts that have no conditions attached to them.
You have not got to spend the whole day trying to think positive, just spend a few minutes, first thing in the morning and last thing at nights, and a few times throughout your day.
The thing to do is to act as if everything is OK and all is well, despite how you're feeling or despite your current situation.
Most people live their life stuck in the negative emotions of what is or what has happened, and they spend all their time and energy trying to fight with what is.
The way to change what is, is to stop reacting to it negatively, accept it, then focus on being as if everything is just fine.
This is where you use general positive thoughts and words, that will make you feel better, because your first priority should be to feel good, and despite what you think.
you do not need a reason to feel good, all you need is to stop resisting things and just use general feel good words and thoughts.
Some typical general feel good phrases are;
- All is good
- All is well
- Life is great
- I feel great
- Things are getting better
- I am moving forwards in a positive direction
- I am enough
- I am on the up
- My future looks bright
- Good things are coming my way
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