Benefits Of Self Love - Be More Lovable, Kind And Good To Yourself

Picture with a pink background, and two opposite hands holding a love heart floating up in a short piece of string with the words LOVE YOURSELF on the pink background
Love Yourself More And More Each Day Because Your Happiness And Well-Being Depends On It

We all need a bit more love and I think that the world needs a bit more love!

How well do you treat yourself?

Are you're the type of person who beats yourself up, put yourself down, disrespects yourself or are you're overly harsh and critical of yourself?

If so, then now is the time to ditch all your self-criticism and negative self-talk and replace it with a lot of self-kindness, self-respect and self-love.

Although many of us tend to associate love as something we feel for another person, self-love is actually the most important love.

Because if you do not like, respect or love yourself as much as you should then others aren't going to love or respect you back.

Self-love and self-care is all about being aware of how well you treat yourself and creating new ways of taking great care of your mind, body and spirit.

When you treat yourself bad, you will feel bad and life will tend to treat you bad.

This is why it is so incredibly important to treat yourself well and it is time to start your own personal self-love challenge.

Because, as soon as you start to be nice and kind to yourself and you begin to increase your sense of self-love you will begin to feel better and life will generally treat you much better.

Love is the most power-fullest of all emotions and it is a word that we should all use a bit more and although this article is all about installing more self-love and self-kindness.

You can use the word love just like you use the word gratitude to evoke the king of all the positive emotions.

So start to add word in front of all the things that you like or feel grateful for, like:

  • I love my house
  • I love my car
  • I love being me
  • I love this perfume/aftershave
  • I love these shoes
  • I love eating healthy foods
  • I love going to the cinema
  • I love reading
  • I love listening to my favorite music
  • I love chilling out and watching ------
  • I love knowing everything is going to work out for me just fine
  • I love all the good that is coming my way

Try to introduce the word love as much as you can in your daily life.

Why you lose your loving feelings?
Picture with a deep red background and two white love hearts with the words for you

All emotional pain and suffering will pass as soon as you remove or fix the cause of your problems or you let it go and you think about something more pleasing. But love is eternal, universal and it is the heart and soul of everything good.

When you change the thoughts that you think and the words that you speak to yourself then your physiology and emotional state will change.

To demonstrate how powerful your chosen words are. If you speak harsh and critical to a young child they will probably start to feel very upset and you will see the pain and suffering in their eyes and body.

If you lavish them with lots of love, praise and affection they feel good about themselves and they will respond with joy, smiles and happiness.

The same applies with how you treat and speak to yourself and if you could learn to love yourself like you would with a new born baby you would reap all the physically, emotionally and mental benefits.

The root cause of most people's emotional problems, suffering, struggles, social fears and insecurities come down to a few key things.

Once you understand these key issues which are causing nearly all of your emotional pain and suffering then you can begin to address and change them and then watch how you and your life transform for the better.

One of the most self-destructive, energy draining, negativity inducing and self-esteem destroyers are your own negative, limiting, untruthful beliefs and programming.

There are so many people harboring wrongful and damaging beliefs which are preventing them from loving themselves and feeling happy and at peace on the inside.

Some typical examples of those harmful and damaging beliefs that plague nearly everybody are:

  • "I am not good enough"
  • "I am not interesting enough"
  • "I am not lovable"
  • "I am don't deserve to be loved"
  • "I am not smart enough"
  • "I am not attractive enough"
  • "I am not capable enough"

When you buy into the beliefs that you're not good enough then it will cultivate feelings of neediness, worry, fear and insecurity and it will create an inner state of stress, conflict and negativity.

The reason for all the inner conflict, imbalance, disharmony and negative resistance is because you're fighting and pushing against the real true authentic amazing, powerful and great you.

Because there is a much bigger and greater non physical part of you who represents who you truly are at source.

This is often called your inner being, wisdom and intuition, which already loves you very much and it only wants to help you to feel good and live your very best and happiest life.

This spirtual, all loving part of you, already knows you are good enough, it already knows that you're smart enough, it already knows that you're interesting endogenous and it already knows that you are capable enough of achieving, anything that your desires. 

Cultivating inner peace, happiness and self-love

Negative energy feeds trauma, insecurity and fear which will draw more emotional pain, struggles, unhappiness and suffering towards you.

This can cause the need for the dependency and a reliance on others, material things, situations and possession in people's desperate attempt to feel happy, to feel good or to feel happy about themselves.

Which can cause people to look on the outside for quick feel good solutions and things to help them feel better, which at best can only offer you a temporary feel good boost.

If you are looking outwards for your source of happiness, love and inner peace. Then you have been looking in all the wrong places because the real solution can only ever be found within and it is all in your total power and control.

Yes, it is good to be able to find love from other people and it is good to have you wants and desires, but the only real person you can depend on for long lasting love, happiness and inner peace, is you.

How you ended up not feeling good enough, not loving yourself or being outright hard on yourself can vary from person to person.

But the one thing that matters the most is the understanding of. If you or anybody else has made you believe things like:

  • You are not lovable
  • You are not smart 
  • You are not good enough
  • You are not worthy enough
  • What you have to say is not worth saying

Then you or those people are lying to you and now that you know this then you can start to get over all your emotional suffering, pain and your self-sabotaging habits, very quickly.

The feeling of not being worthy or good enough is probably one of the biggest reasons why people don;t feel happy within and it can cause you a life time of looking externally to try to prove to everybody else in the world that you're worthy and good enough.

Again, it is great to want to do well, set goals and be successful as it gives our life more meaning and purpose.

But your life journey will be so much easier and better if you are coming from a place of complete self-acceptance, unconditional self-love and a knowing and deep belief that you're already worthy and good enough, so never allow you or anybody else to try and convince you different.

Because there is only one real, absolute truth, which is;

You have always been good enough since the day you were born and you always will be until the day that you die, you just maybe, need,to keep on reminding yourself of this from time to time. 

A great place to start is to open up your own heart and begin to come from an inner place of total self-love, self-respect and self acceptance.

Instead of picking faults to yourself, send yourself some mess sages of self-love and make it habit to be friendly with yourself and say nice things to yourself, about yourself.

Each morning and evening, stand in front of the mirror, look at yourself through the eyes of how you would like to be treated and tell yourself how lovable you are and let that reflection know how much you love and approve of yourself.

Because the best way to get that reflection of you to smile back and to look happy, glowing and radiant.

Is for you to smile and feel happy on the inside and for you to tell yourself that you love yourself and for you to accept who you are and for you to start to say nice and positive things about yourself.

The reward for changing your self-destructive beliefs will be; you will start to set yourself free from all your emotional pain and suffering and as all your burdens and pain lifts you begin to feel better and better your life will transform in so many positive ways

Love is has always existed within you

Another deep rooted problem that many people have developed is the belief that they are not lovable, they aren't deserving of love or love is something that they will never find.

Others think that they cannot have happiness, good health and good emotional well-being.

Again this could not be further from the truth and love, happiness and good wellness and emotional well-being is always been available to you and it is the source of everything that you want. 

A picture with a white background a red love heart and the words I LOVE YOU written in all the different langauges

It may have been taken away from you, again by your beliefs, programming and perceptions, but once you know where to look and once you decide to love yourself, be nice to yourself and take good care of yourself then you can find everything that you have been looking for.

If you carry on believing that you cannot be happy, healthy, successful and lovable then those belief will prevent you from ever finding what you really want.

If you convince yourself that what you want is not available to you then those beliefs, perceptions and thought processes will make sure that you never really find them.

Everything you want is available to you, including:

  • Inner happiness
  • Good health and well-being
  • Love - both internal and external love
  • Success
  • Living your ideal life

But you will always struggle to find love, success and true happiness if you do not believe that you can have them or you do not feel that you are lovable.

To feel lovable, requires telling yourself that you're lovable and mean it without any conditions.

To increase your inner happiness and inner peace which will help you to promote good wellness and well-being you have got to try and accept and let go of whatever it is that is bothering you and work on taking good care of yourself.

If you allow what is or your external problems to keep on bothering you then it will cause a negative state of stress and disharmony within.

Learn to like yourself and your own company and get to know yourself better and the more you can do to relax and detach any external conditions to your happiness the better.

Do more of the things that you want to do or you enjoy doing because you might be surprised that you are more capable, creative and talented than you think.

It is important to be yourself and not trying to pretend to be what everybody else expects you to be.

A good mantra to say to keep repeating to yourself is:

"I feel happy, calm and at peace now!"

To be successful you have to change your beliefs and you have to think that everything you want, is available to you.

Sometimes we like to blame everybody and everything for how bad we feel about ourselves or what is wrong in our lives.

Yes, people can be overly critical and some people can say cruel and upsetting things to us and yes life can be tough at times, but very often there is no one more cruel and hard on us, than ourselves.

If you take responsibility for the things that you say to yourselves,  your thoughts and feelings as well as all our actions and behaviors then you will become the captain of your own ship and the architect of your future happiness and life.

The other bad beliefs are, thinking that there is something wrong with you or thinking that you are different to other people, especially the ones you think are confident, happy, charismatic and successful.

Anyway, what is wrong with being different as long as you feel happy with who you are. You may be surprised to know that all those people you think are happy and confident, are very often insecure and unhappy.

When you convince yourself that you're somehow different to others in a negative way or there is something physically or mentally wrong with you.

Then itwill take away all of your powers and give you a distinct and unfair advantage over everybody else.

Give yourself the blessings of self-love

There are many wonderful reason why you should love, respect and accept yourself unconditionally. Which will benefit you; physically, psychologically, spiritually and emotionally. 

Some of the tremendous positive and life transforming benefits you will reap, are:

  • You will start to feel good
  • You will free yourself from, much of your emotional suffering and inner conflict
  • You will feel happier within
  • You will begin to feel at peace with yourself and your life
  • It will help to promote better wellness and emotional well-being 
  • You will no longer feel the need for the approval of others
  • Others will like, love and respect you more
  • Your self esteem and self confidence will increase
  • You will be able to tune into your creativity and positive energy of life
  • You will be able to open up to your true authentic and sixth sense powers

You are your best friend and your best teacher. So start to treat yourself like you are the most important and precious person in your life, because you are.

Without being judgmental, without being self critical, without beating yourself up, without wanting to compare yourself to others and without being too hard, on yourself.

Although it is good to have your our own goals, desires and wants and it is fine to want to grow, expand and live your best life.

Accept and respect yourself

Do you feel happy in your own skin, do you think of yourself as a worthy, valuable, smart and capable person.

Have you a high regard for yourself and are you the kind of person who focuses on their good points, talents, strengths and abilities?

Because the more you value, respect and accept yourself, the easier you will you find it to handle and negotiate through life's challenges and difficulties and the more you will be able to excel in life.

This does no mean going around thinking that you're perfect, because we all have our own flaws and weaknesses, but it is better to accept them and focus on our strengths as well as learning how to treat yourself good.

Because when you feel worthy, you feel love-able and you feel you deserve good things, then those good things and better times, will start to come your way.

The more you accept and respect yourself, the more you allow yourself to be who you truly are at source and the more you allow the true authentic you to shine through.

The more you will start to relay back to your inner self, that there is nothing wrong with you, (There never has been), and the more you will start to love and respect yourself.

Where we sometimes go wrong in life is in the thinking that we have to think positive and feel perfect, happy and joyful all the time.

Although, that is a good policy to follow, you have to remember that you are only human and bad things happen to all of us.

Therefore, it is wise to allow yourself to feel fearful, disappointed, frustrated and negative at times, as well.

Otherwise you will end up trying to suppress your thoughts and feelings, which can cause you to become fearful of your thoughts and feelings, which will compound them and make things worse, not better.

Even though you should focus on being yourself, enjoying yourself and feeling good, nobody can feel on top of the world everyday and it is important how to learn to quickly let go and overcome adversity,

If you're human, then you're going to feel negative, down, defeated and fearful at times.

The important thing to be aware of is: It is not bad thing to have a negative thoughts or feelings, neither is it bad to feel fearful, sad or disappointed, as long as you don't stay there for too long.

Sometimes negative thoughts and emotions are trying to relay an important message to us, so listen to the message, feel the feelings, then decide whether you need to take any action or let it go.

You cannot go through life, thinking positive all the time and life is not always perfect, neither can you avoid making mistakes, adversity or getting things wrong.

It is how you react, perceive and handle the bad times that really counts, so feel the negative emotion, allow yourself to be fearful, then focus on working on getting better.

When you notice any negative or fearful thoughts and emotions, rising.

Just observe them and allow them to be, without being judgmental on yourself, then allow those emotions to rise up through you and away, and they will soon disappear and leave you alone. 

You have not got to spend all of your precious and valuable life, trying to fight and defeat your thoughts and feelings, nor have you got to analyse or question, why you're having them.

Just accept them as just being random thoughts, and negative thoughts are a part of everybody, just accept them, accept what is, accept what might happen and show yourself, even more love and kindness.

Instead of trying to suppress your thoughts and feelings, let your mind experience every single thought that you have and allow them to run their course, without you engaging in them or without you judging or reacting to them.

When we accept a bit of discomfort and suffering and we have a knowing that everything will be fine, everything will workout right in the end, the suffering will soon pass.

Talk to your scared or negative self, and give yourself, plenty of positive reassurance, praise and self encouragement.

Show a bit of compassion for yourself. Let yourself know you're perfectly safe, everything will be OK and have a strong faith and deep knowing, that you'll figure things out or you'll get better, then bring your attention back to the here and now.

The same applies when you think that there is something wrong with you, you think you need to improve or you pretend to be somebody that your not, as this can cause you to bury and suppress, your true authentic self.

You cannot be yourself and you cannot unleash your true sixth sense powers and potential, if you think that there is something wrong with you.

When you accept who you are and you love who you are, then you will begin to end all that inner conflict with yourself and you will start to be at peace with yourself, because everybody is beautiful, in their own way.

Make way for you true authentic and powerful self
Picture looking down on a wooden table with some colored round small discs and the word DID YOU SMILE TODAY?

All you have to do, is to be who you really are, accept who you really are and love who you really are and then focus on enjoying your life, accomplishing your goals and living your best life.

Know that you are worthy enough, know that you deserve good things and know that you have the ability and capabilities, to achieve, everything that you want, in life.

Because, when you cease fighting with yourself, when you cease fighting with life and you cease resisting your thoughts and feelings, and you love yourself unconditionally and you allow yourself to be yourself,

You will start to get in touch and make a deep connection with the larger non physical and all knowing and all powerful part of you that has no limits, restrictions or boundaries.

Allowing you to start to unleash your true inner creative powers, greatness and capabilities, because self love is really, the best kind of love. 

When people think about loving and accepting themselves, they tend to focus on their external self and body, but there is way more to you that expands way beyond, the physical you that you see in the mirror.

So when you send yourself love, send that love to the whole you, including your inner being and the larger, non physical part of you, that is connected to the source that created you.

You were born to love, enjoy and make the most of your life experience and true potential

As a young baby and child, we are showered with love, affection and attention, we are also protected and everything is taken care for us, so we do not need to really think, defend or look after ourselves.

But as we grow up, although the love is still there, your no longer the cute and adored little child and bit by bit, you reach a point where you expected to stand on your own two feet more and more.

Even though you're not always fully mentally and emotionally, prepared for the challenges and difficulties that are to come.  

For a young adult, adapting to, conforming and fitting into the adult world and environment, can be a shocked to the system.

Without the right support, preparation, understanding and guidance, you can end up feeling lost, insecure as you are suddenly chucked into the so called real world, without any know how, experience and a lot of people end up frustrated in their life.

With all your unresolved emotional baggage, stressors, environmental conditioning, social pressures, problems and fear, you can soon lose the deep sense of connection with your true, authentic and powerful self, who are capable of of achieving anything that they want.

Because, you are more than capable of achieving your goals and living your greatest life, once you restore your energy and consciousness, to the positive frequency range, where you are able to tap into your true powers, creativity and potential.

Most people in their search for love, look outwardly at others, to provide them with the love and attention, that they crave.

Yes, it is beautiful to love and be loved by others, as long as you love and accept yourself, unconditionally.

However, if do not love and approve of yourself, and many people are coming from a place of fear and insecurity.

Then the more you rely on others for the love and approval that you're seeking, the more of your powers you will be giving away.

Wanting to be loved, liked and accepted by others, seems to be a growing trend.

This is more and more evident in today's world of the internet, society and social media, with the rise of mental health conditions, anxiety and depression.

Statistics are telling us, that there appears to be and ever increasing, need by people, to be liked, to be popular, to be accepted and to be approved of by others.

If you feel you need to be liked and you want the love and approval of others, you have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself.


The real truth is, if you want to be liked, loved, respected and approved by others, then you have to go deep within yourself and start liking, loving, accepting and approving yourself, totally and unconditionally.

Because, nothing or nobody can give you the constant levels of love, respect and approval that you can give to yourself and nothing or nobody, can empower, motivate and inspire you more, than you can.

You have the power to fill yourself with love, you have the power to accept yourself and free yourself from your own self imposed prison and you have the ability to achieve your goals and passions.

Self acceptance is the first step to unconditional love

The first stage of cultivating self love and inner peace, starts off by learning to accept yourself, totally unconditionally, perceived faults included.

Virtually, everybody at some point, has probably felt unhappy with themselves or dissatisfied about certain parts of their looks or bodies.

When we are not happy and we do not accept and feel good about ourselves within, we start to look outwardly for the love, comfort and approval that we should really be giving ourselves.

People will often turn to others or material things and situations, to help make them feel better in their attempt to mask, try hide or suppress their inner feelings of emotional suffering and insecurity.

Some people, will use suppression or distraction tactics try and keep themselves busy, whilst others will seek the approval of others.

Other will try and replace the feelings of emptiness, anxiety, sadness and insecurity, with alcohol or even recreational addictive substances.

But, let's be honest, not only are these things bad for you, there will never offer you the solutions that you're looking for, infact, material things or situations, are not the solution, at all.

Addictions, material things or other people, do not make you happy nor so they necessary, prevent you from being happy, because the only thing that stops you from being happy, is yourself. 

Sometimes the reasons for the need to have material things or addictive substance happens, because, people do not like, value or love themselves.

If you can start to love yourself and you can start to treat yourself kindly, by telling yourself that you're already good enough, capable enough, worthy enough and you deserve a loving and happy life.

Then as you begin to heal yourself from within, you will feel much more stronger and resourceful enough, to address, your physical problems and addictions. 

Because there is no long term external fix, thing or situation that will replace or mask over those negative thoughts and feelings, unworthiness, unhappiness, imbalance and disharmony, within.

The one true answer, has always lied within you all the time, and it can be achieved by learning how to love, approve, respect and accept yourself.

The only thing that you should become addictive to is, loving, accepting and respecting yourself and when you feel happy and at peace within, others and the world around you, will start to change with you, for the better.

Why you should come from a place of love, not fear

Love and the positive emotions are your best friend. Therefore; they should be your most dominant energy.

Even though it is great to love our partners and family. You should not rely or depend on others to reap all the positive benefits, love and the positive emotions can give you.

In life you are either coming from the destructive and disempowering, negative feelings and emotions, such as; fear, anger, sadness and guilt.

Or you are coming from the empowering and all that is good, positive feelings and emotions, such as; love, calm, happiness and joy.

Out, of all the positive feelings and emotions; love is the most powerfulest, and the really beauty of love is, you have not got to depend on anybody else, to give out love.

Because, although it is wonderful to love others and to feel loved back, it will probably be little comfort to you, if you do not have a deep sense of love and approval, for yourself.

Your emotional well-being, your wellness, the quality of your relationships, your self esteem and much more, depends on.

  • Loving yourself
  • Accepting yourself
  • Respecting yourself

Having a deep and meaningful connection and respect for yourself, is a great place to start, which should begin with, loving yourself and loving your life.

Thoughts and words carry their own, matching vibrational frequencies.

The positive words such as the likes of, "love" and "thank you", are two of the most potent words, known to humans.

They say fear protects us, but this is certainly not always true.

In fact, the majority of the time.

Fear and negative emotions, are not your greatest protectors, because prolonged periods of fear and negativity, are bad for your wellness, emotional well-being and the quality of your life.

There is an old saying.

"We attract more of the things that we fear the most"

The feelings and emotions, that protect and help us the most are love and the calm and positive, feelings and emotions.

The feelings and emotions that are associated with love, calm and happiness, are the emotions that protect and support you the most.

Because they help to promote good health, good emotional well-being and a greater and better life experience.

self love is the best type of love and self acceptance is the route to free yourself from your emotional suffering and free yourself from your battle with your inner being.

many people dislike who they are, whilst others will go to great lengths to hide their real true, authentic self

Love is all you need

Love yourself and your life, like you have never loved yourself before, if you want to truly live and grow, because it really is that important, and here'' why.

"Love yourself like your life depends on it, because it does"

Anita Moorjani

Speaker and author of the amazing book.

Dying To Be Me.

Which can only be described as one of the most amazing stories, ever told.

In her book, Anita, who suffered from a life threatening illness, tells the sensational and life changing story, how she came back from the edge of death, to true healing, in a matter of three weeks and she achieved it by changing her state from one of fear to one of unconditional, love.

During her incredible experience. Anita, reveals, how she felt free and expanded, she also describes how she felt, what she describes in her own words, as an unconditional feeling of love, as she suddenly realized, that she does not have to do, anything to prove herself, nor does she have to do anything to, deserved to feel loved.

Because, she found out, she was loved, just because, she existed and all you have to do is love yourself and your life and just enjoy the journey.

You can also here fascinating story, on You Tube, which clearly demonstrates the power of love.


Only you, can bring about inner peace, happiness and love

Then on awakening, do this again, tell yourself that:

" You're going to have a great day"

Then say some positive self statements or affirmations, about yourself, to yourself, like:

  • "I am peaceful now" 
  • " All is well, good things are coming my way, now"
  • "Today I am grateful, for being me"
  • "I am  capable enough, of achieving, anything I want"
  • "I am creative"
  • "I am happy"
  • "I am lovable"
  • "I am good enough"
  • "I am smart enough"
  • "I am attractive enough"
  • "Everyday, in every way, I am getting better and better"
  • "I am healthy"
  • "I am worthy enough"
  • "I am valuable"
  • "I am safe and secure now"

Give up the fight with fear and what is and see it as an opportunity for you to relax , respect and appreciate yourself more.

Ask yourself, questions like:

Which of my fears can I release and let go of?

What is the logical belief/reason behind this fear?

How can I be myself more?

How can I enjoy myself more?

What can I do that will make me feel better/happier

Instead of in engaging and focusing on negative things or things that you don't want, give all your attention to focusing how you want to feel, how you want to be or what you would like to do or happen.