Teenage Anxiety And Emotional Issues
You are taught many things as you progress through your school years to educate you and to help you get good grades so you can go onto to hopefully get a good career but there is one incredibly important ingredient that society forgets to teach you which is to understand and manage your thoughts and emotions.
There are a lot of changes and developments taking place as you transform into adults, but your thought processes and your emotions follow the same principals regardless of your age.
Remember you are always in control of your life, your thought processes and how you feel. Your mind is a very powerful tool capable of doing amazing things but it n needs clear instructions so direct it and tell it what you want.
Your mind controls nearly all of your actions and behaviours and it runs off the information it has been fed and the experiences you have had so far. If you are not happy and confident then the chances are your worries and fears are holding you back and running your life.
Confidence is the key to a happy and successful life, you cannot be confident when your feeling anxious, stressed or tense. Self confidence starts when you begin to believe in yourself, and believing in yourself means starting to do some of those things that you thought you could not do even if they make you feel a bit of discomfort.
If you have lost a bit of self belief in yourself than you need to start to re-build your self confidence and you achieve that by changing those beliefs that are keeping you small and by doing things and taking daily action steps.
You learn to be under confident through being influenced by others, by the things you have been telling yourself and by the way you have responded to previous outside situations. To change you have to relearn new behaviours through practice and repetition.
Affirm What You Want As If It Is Already True
Change takes time so don't expect instant results, it is more about progressive steady improvements. If you tell yourself something repeatedly over a period of time you will eventually become it.
For example if you tell yourself you are calm and confident then in time your mind will believe it, to begin with it will reject this new belief but after a while if you persist and you take action on that new belief you will become that new belief.
So decide the new belief about yourself that you want to have about yourself then repeat everyday, say ten times every hour, so lets say your new belief is
" I am confident and strong"
As well as affirming it also try and act more confident, this means stepping out of your comfort zone and do the things that confident and strong people do or by doing the things that make you feel anxious.
Repeat this for as long as you think is needed even it takes a few months to a year, if your having trouble with the I am confident type of affirmations, then you can try the I am becoming ones such as
"Each day I am becoming more confident" or " My self confidence is increasing".
The rule of life is really quite simple, you become what you think. If you think negative thoughts you will feel bad and if you think positive or just general thoughts you will feel good.
If your positive and optimistic you will feel good and more opportunities will present themselves to you, if you negative and pessimistic then you will slip into a negative state which is not a very good place to be.
See yourself as already being the person you want to be and if you have to face a challenging situation, mentally rehearse things going well and imagine yourself feeling and behaving how you would like to be and remember repition is the key to change.
You Have Endless Potential
Your mind and body are the most powerful and sophisticated biological computer and organism that exists. Your mind and body are all hooked up and work together, this means that they both affect each other.
So if your having a negative thoughts then this will influence your body and you will go into a stressful or negative state and if your body is stressed or if your muscles are tense then this can send signals to your mind that your about to be threatened even in the absence of danger which will cause you to have even more anxious thoughts.
This is why it is important to keep your body relaxed. You see many teenagers slouching, this can cause your neck muscles to tense which will put you into a insecure state, it will also your spine to collapse which will restrict your breathing which will put you in stressful state.
You should aim for a relaxed and aligned and balanced poised posture and although you should not slouch, you should also avoid trying to stand or sit up too straight and rigid, never try to pull or hold yourself up.
All computers start off the same and all the same models have the same capabilities, however how well a computer functions will depend on the data and input fed in and how well they have been programmed.
The only thing that prevents you from going on to enjoy a happy and successful life is not knowing or failing to understand what you are and how you function, no one in this world is any better than you and know one is any lesser.
We all have limitlessness potential it just needs developing and you achieve this through learning and practicing because consistency is the key to becoming a winner. You have the ability to achieve and create great things so long as you don't allow what has happened and what is happening on the outside world to control you and determine how you feel.
Only Think About What You Want
To many people fall into the trap of only focusing on what they don't want, what they don't have or why they cannot do something, but all that does is make you feel bad and it prevents all the things you do want from happening.
Then to make matters worst, they let the fear of failure or the fear of making a mistake or embarrassing themselves to further limit them.
But really you should be focusing on what you do want and how you can and will achieve it. If your stuck or need help seek it, either research, listen to an expert or ask your mind and the universe the questions you need answers to or just write it down on a piece of paper.
You to come into this world equal and as worthy as everybody else, you to have the same potential and capabilities as everybody else and like the computer how well you function and perform in life will depend on the input you and others feeds your mind and the beliefs you form.
Unless you have made an effort to be who and what you want to be, then who you are today is probably entirely down to luck and chance. But things can be different because you are the architect of your own life, your reality will be based on the beliefs you form and the stories you tell yourself, belief and desire is the key to all success.
You Have To Take The First Step
If you are having trouble with anxiety or your find yourself worrying a lot or if you are dogged by obsessive and unwanted thoughts and negative emotions then the first thing to understand is.
There is nothing wrong with you except you have picked up some negative habits and unhelpful patterns of thinking which are being driven by the negative emotional and physical state your stuck in.
Although talking won't stop your anxious unwanted thoughts and negative feelings, if you have been suffering with symptoms of anxiety then it is a good idea to tell a parent, teacher or your doctor because you will need plenty of support and help.
What you must not do is, do nothing and carry on suffering in silence and alone because if you do nothing then nothing will ever change. There is plenty of help available but you have to take that first step because your well-fare is entirely down too the choices, thoughts and decisions you decide to take.
Your emotions and your thoughts are you, the will determine just about everything in your life including
- Your physical state
- Your future
- Your mood and how you feel
- How successful you will become in all area's of your life
- Your Confidence levels
- Your Character
Your thoughts and emotions both work together, this means your emotions drive your thought patterns and then if you pursue your thoughts they will generate even more positive or negative energy depending on what your thinking about.
What governs your emotions are
- What your currently thinking about
- What has happened in the past
- Thinking about the future
- What is and your outside circumstances
- Your focus of attention
- Your physiology
Your emotions act like an internal guidance system, they are always trying to tell you something so you should always pay attention to the messages that your mind is trying to relay to you.
If your experiencing negative feelings and emotions then do not get upset or frustrated by them and do not try to suppress them otherwise they will keep coming back stronger.
It is an important lesson for you to realize that your emotions are trying to guide and help you so get into the habit of listening to them. Your goal should always be to feel happy and relaxed, if your experiencing negative emotions then you need to workout why your having them.
1) Fear and anxiety
The emotion associated with fear becomes activated when your mind thinks something bad is about to happen. Fear and anxiety are designed to keep you safe and the emotion prepares your body for action should you find yourself in a real potential dangerous situation.
Fear comes in many shapes and forms but you should never allow it to hold you back, if you have experienced worry, doubt, stress or panic then you have experienced fear.
You have to begin to change the way you respond to your anxiety, the key is to take the fear of being anxious away, anxiety comes in waves, but instead of panicking by your symptoms embrace them and be OK with them and ride out the waves of fear.
With anxiety your also going to get those what if thoughts, this is your mind anticipating something bad could happen. You have to reply to those what if thoughts with.
"So what" or "I can handle it"
So you immediately end the negative energy and the stressful response.
The difference between those who struggle with fear and those who seem to be free of it is, the ones who struggle with it tend to spend all their time trying to stop it, avoid it or suppress or they freak out and panic.
At best they learn how to manage it and force themselves through the stressful situations. Whilst the ones who have little trouble with it accept they will feel a bit of discomfort especially when they step out of their comfort zones.
So when they try something different but they are not afraid or put off by a bit of mild discomfort, they know it's just feelings and they are safe so they embrace they fear and do it anyway and process the emotion with the minimal amount of disruption as possible.
The chances are though if you have been suffering with anxiety then it is being activated at times at in situations where there is very little or no chance of any harm coming to you (accept if you are being bullied or abused, if that is the case you need to speak to an adult).
If you have been feeling anxious in the absence of danger then you have to consciously step in and take control of the situation. If you know there is nothing bad going to happen to you then the best thing you can do is accept how your feeling and be OK with the fear, if you know your going into a stressful situation let yourself know "it's OK if I feel anxious".
We all feel a bit anxious or uncomfortable in some situations and that is perfectly normal, so don't get drawn into a battle with your symptoms and sensations of anxiety otherwise you will make it worst and it will hang around.
What happens is, people have an anxiety attack and instead of accepting it and shrugging it off as no big deal it's only feelings, because they don't like those feelings they then they start to become afraid of the situations that triggered the anxiety and they become afraid of being afraid and that is when the problem starts.
You see the best way to reduce your anxiety is to not be bothered by it. The common mistake most people make when they feel anxious is, they search for ways to try and stop it which just aggravates it and turns it into far bigger problem.
The solution to overcoming your anxiety is to not think about it and not to pay it any attention, you will have less trouble with anxiety if you do nothing about it apart from learning how to relax and reduce your stress which means do not attempt to fight it and do not try to forcefully get rid of it because the fuel of fear which keeps it active is "The amount of attention you give it".
The Less Bothered You Are By Your Anxiety The Better
What fear and anxiety hate is, you not being bothered about it, the more you can embrace your fear instead of seeing it as the enemy that needs to be defeated the less it will bother you and hang around, plus you will have the tools to face and overcome any challenging situations. The less bothered you are about it and the less you allow it to disrupt your life the less you will think about it and the less it will happen.
So instead of resisting your fearful feelings, catch them early and embrace them and let the emotion rise and just fade away. The fear emotion feels like pressure building up which then activates physical reactions in your body, it is a bit like the fuse that ignites the firework, if you stay calm and unconcerned at the start of the build up of the fear process you will prevent the full on explosion of fear.
So do not be alarmed by these physical sensations just stay the calm observer of your bodily feelings and emotions. Let the emotion build up peak and pass, and keep on repeating, but don't attempt to do anything just relax your muscles and take a few deep breaths whilst you stay focused on what your doing.
The less concerned you are by the fear the better, it will only become a problem if you make it a problem, the more you practice accepting and watching your feelings whilst detaching yourself from them the better your going to get at handling challenging situations.
Never avoid a situation because you feel a bit of discomfort otherwise you will teach yourself to be afraid of that situation, fear is sometimes telling you that you need to face and overcome a challenge so you can improve and grow.
2) Worry And Stress
Some of you anxiety can be a result of you spending a lot of time worrying and making yourself feel stressed. Long term stress will eventually lead to prolonged anxiety so it is important you learn how to manage your thoughts, your emotions and your stress, although teenagers don't like to relax it is an essential and necessary thing everybody should do at any age.
By relaxing I don't mean sleeping, it should be a time you deliberately set aside to find somewhere quiet where you can relax deeply and learn how to quieten your mind and calm your body.
Meditation is still a great way to relax your mind and body, you may feel you cannot be bothered but those who do, will feel better, they will cope better with life's challenges and they will excel in life and have a big advantage over others.
Worrying serves of little value and it will make you feel bad, if you have a problem then worrying about it won't help. We all have problems, if you develop a problem then there is a few things you can do.
The first thing to do is you have to accept the thing or situation that is bothering you and deal with it. Many teenagers worry about body related issues, but you will have nothing to gain by worrying or obsessing about parts of your body day in day out because that is not going to help or change anything.
The thing with problems is, change what you can change and accept what you cannot not change. These days there is a lot you can do to improve your body so work on the things you can change and accept and forget about what you can't.
Many teenagers have issues with spots and their skin, the thing with spots is that when you become annoyed and bothered by them you will become more stressed and when you're stressed you get even more spots. One of the causes of spots is hormonal changes, so it is also advisable to seek help from your doctor.
Diet can affect your skin so do some research about this and do what else you can to keep your skin clean and radiant, also try and keep your stress levels low as this can help prevent spots from forming. There are many healthy foods that help to reduce inflammation and some that aggravate it.
You Perform Better At Most Things When Your Relaxed
It is really important you learn to keep your stress levels to a minimum, things like exams and the pressure put on teenagers to pass them can cause added stress for teenagers.
The thing is, the more stressed and anxious you become the harder it will be for you to concentrate and focus, if you want to do well, study hard but stay calm and relaxed and you will increase your chances of getting better grades.
Because you will perform and do better at most things when your calm, controlled and happy, this applies to nearly else everything in your life, sometimes the harder you try and the more desperate you become the harder things become to do and get.
It is not the the end of the world if you do not achieve your expectations and you should never worry about things going wrong or making mistakes. A problem is only usually a problem when you are thinking about it, so only focus on the solution or let the matter go and give your attention to things that don't make you feel bad.
Sometimes you have to make a conscious effort to break negative thoughts patterns, if you have allowed the negative momentum and stress to gather pace then the best thing to do is either exercise off all the energy or go and do something that will relax you again like meditating.
Then once you have calmed yourself down take control of your thinking and only think about things that don't cause a negative response, if any bad feeling thoughts come into your mind again don't get annoyed.
Don't react badly to them and don't try to suppress them just allow your mind to carry on thinking them and they will quickly retreat, because it's not about stopping your thoughts the answer is learning how to stay calm around them.
In the case of exams you can always retake them and regardless of your results your still important, your still worthwhile and you still have a purpose in life so be you, be creative, discover your true talents and find find out who and what you are and be yourself.
If you worry constantly about something happening then stop worrying about it or you will run the risk of it happening, the same applies to fear, if you keep fearing something then that thing may happen because what you focus on consistently with emotions will at some point appear in your reality.
Anger is a very powerful emotion, it is designed to help you stand up for yourself or what you believe in and although a little bit of anger can help you defend yourself and put your view across, you don't want to much of it.
If somebody has crossed over your boundaries or they are taking liberties then use your anger to stick up for yourself and your rights. But if you have an issue it will need dealing with straight away, what you don't want is to bottle it up and keep on winding yourself up.
The best advice about anger is, try not to get angry in the first place if possible, once something has happened either deal with it or let it go otherwise anger can push you into trouble.
If something or someone has annoyed or made you angry and the moment has passed, try not to dwell on it, the emotion and the angry thoughts will try to force you to take action against the person or situation that has upset you.
But do not allow this to happen otherwise all your attention will go onto seeking revenge or retribution, it can also cause hatred and resentment, the thing is the only person it will end up hurting is you. So if you are focusing on something or someone that has upset you, sit down for a minute, take some slow deep breaths and let the emotion pass, then let the matter drop.
4) Change Your Bad Habits And Form Some Positive Ones
We all create and pick up bad habits which have a big impact on who and what we become, we form habits by repeatedly practicing or doing things a certain way, the good news is habits can be changed and you should change any habit that doesn’t help you move you toward your goals or ones that hold you back.
One good habit that you should adhere and stick to for the rest of your life is the positive habit of continually learning new things and studying and being mentored by experts and successful people.
You change bad habits by consciously replacing them with new positive and helpful ones, to help you do this you can list all the positive things you are going to gain by doing things differently or you can imagine yourself already being the person you want or having the thing or things you want.
5) Deal with your anxious thoughts
You are going to have times when anxious and fearful thoughts come into your mind so it is important you learn how to manage your anxious thoughts as this will help to prevent all that anxiety and stress.
We all need to learn how to deal with our fearful thoughts, most people get it all wrong, the key is to do the opposite to what you have been doing, to overcome your anxiety you don't try to stop your thoughts and feelings, you learn how to eliminate it by relearning your mind that the fearful response is not necessary.
Anxiety is your mind doing a risk assessment, it is your mind telling you what could happen and it basis this on your past negative experiences and bad memories, it is your mind trying to get you to take action so you can avert the perceived risks.
The trouble is even though most of your fears are not genuine dangers you are reacting as if the threat is real and about to happen. This is where you need to be mindful so you can consciously step in, your mind is actually tricking you into reacting as if the dangers is real and because of the strong feelings which can seem so overwhelming you may find yourself obeying and following these anxious thoughts and sensations by wanting to avoid the situation.
If your interested in learning how to reduce and eliminate your anxiety I suggest read this article about how to eliminate fearful and anxious thoughts.
6) Setbacks And Challenges
Your going to get setbacks and knocks on your journey through life, the things is to make sure they remain only temporary setbacks, if you don't you will run the risk of falling into the worry and stress cycle.
What usually happens something starts to bother you or maybe you have a embarrassing experience or something goes wrong, the more you dwell on it the more you get emotionally involved with what is or what happened. This causes negative emotional arousal and that negative emotion will cause you to live in the emotion of the problem stuck in your own head.
When bad things happen or you get a knock back, accept it, release it and move on, try to learn from your mistakes and setbacks but don't live them. To move forward you have to let go or ignore what is and what has previously happened then focus only on what can be and what you want to be with passion and enthusiasm.
We all want to be successful and to have all the good things in life and it is natural you should want to well at all the things you do and for you to have all that you want.
The secret in life is to be patient and allow life to happen for you, by all means have your goals and wants but do not try to force them or try to hard otherwise you will become to desperate and to frustrated which will make it harder for you to get the results and things you want.
Just believe in yourself and trust that you will get the life you want, do the action that is required, practice and work at developing your skills and talents. Keep on striving to learn and improve any area of your life that you wish to improve, but do not put too much pressure on yourself.
Don't strive for perfection and don't try to be perfect, strive to do better and aim to be and do the best, but not at the expense of your happiness because nothing or nobody should rob you of your right to feel good.
To be successful have a mentor, study and listen to those who are already successful in the field you wish to follow or improve on, listen to what they say and do what they tell you even if this means casting aside your own idea's and beliefs.
Then once you start to achieve success you can try to improve on your skills or what you have learned and add your own creative idea's to make things even better, write down what you want on a card then carry that card around with you and keep looking at it. Life is really what you make it, try to stay in the present moment and if your being negative get out of your head put your attention onto doing things on the outside.
Tap into your true spiritual happiness
Learn how to deal with the root cause of your anger
Start to lower your stress levels and return back to inner peace
Enjoy the many health benefits of positive thinking
Nearly all the most successful people relax for twenty minutes a day
Stop fighting with your thoughts and learn how to quieten them
Wise up to fear and learn how to tame and outsmart the beast
Worrying can effect your health and quality of life
Tips on how to become more successful in your life
Help to end panic attacks and general anxiety disorder
Use the power of hypnosis to tap into the software of your mid
Out with the old and in with the new ideal and more happier you