How To Quickly Change Your State And Boost Your Confidence 

Confidence is a fickle thing, one moment you can have it then the next minute it can completely desert you often at the very times when you need it the most yet without self confidence we can achieve very little.

Self confidence is a skill and like all skills it can be learned and develop but it is something you have to work on. It's also about believing in yourself and believing that you can accomplish a goal or task no matter what it takes and despite how many times you get knocked back or how many obstacles get in your way.

Sometimes all it takes is a little knock back or mistake and we can very quickly loose our confidence. One reason for this is we dwell to much on our insecurities, setbacks and the things we perceive we have failed at or if we think we have not reached the levels or standards we set ourselves.

You have to ask yourself is the striving for perfection worth it and wouldn't it be far better to accept yourself and just be yourself without all the self monitoring and thinking that you have to be something your not. 

Learning to like yourself knowing that you're doing your best is good enough at it is the first step to becoming the best possible you. When you believe you have to improve your telling yourself that your not good enough and that is an outright lie.

Your already awesome, special, confident and talented, you just need to align up with that version of you. So try not to be to hard on yourself and give up trying to reach too higher standards and having a self image that just takes to much effort to keep up and which is mentally to exhausting. 

Because trying to be perfect can be a big confidence drainer, remember no ones perfect so trying to be perfect is not a good way to live your life. This does not mean you cannot better yourself and increase your talents and skill levels, but it should not be at the expense of your emotional well-being and it should not go against the wonderful being you already are.

Let life happen

Although we all have the ability to become better, trying to hard to be something you're not, to soon can work against you, especially if you have to put on a show to impress others or to satisfy your ego all the time. 

Learn to let life happen, whilst you get out of the way and just focus on enjoying yourself, because when you stop trying to hard, you let go of all negative resistance and you get into the flow then your natural confidence will reveal itself to you.

Putting too much pressure and importance on succeeding, winning and thinking about what you have not got or what you feel you lack can keep you locked in a negative cycle.

Yes you want to be at your best and you should strive to excel at the things you want, but when you take out the importance and significance out of the equation and you replace it with enjoyment and the attitude of whatever happens you'll be OK then you will feel less pressured which will leave you feeling more relaxed and when you're relaxed you will perform better. 

Confidence is partly about developing your skills and having the knowledge, skills and experience so you can have that inner feeling of comfort, faith and inner strength to take on new challenges and to keep moving forward in the direction you want to go.

Confidence does not happen overnight, it is all about your personal journey and how you react to and handle the challenges you face during your life experience and just remember you're already unique and you have many qualities and there is nobody else quite like you.

During our journey we experience many ups and downs, these experiences create emotional neural connections, both positive and negative and these neural connections have a massive impact on your confidence levels and how well you perform.

Your neural connections are the root and the seeds behind most of your thought processes and your fears, that's why it is so important to replace any negative neural connections with positive feelings if you want to free yourself from your negative past.

What is confidence

Confidence is also about having the courage to move forward into the unknown and having the bottle to step out of your comfort zone without having the certainty of knowing the outcome.

It's about not having a guarantee of what results you will get, not knowing how well things will work out or not really knowing for sure what's to come but still doing it anyway.

Self confidence could be described as having a general feel good and calm feeling about yourself and feeling generally comfortable even when faced with uncertainty.

The key to self growth is, even when you do at times feel a bit apprehensive or afraid of taking on a challenge you go ahead and take action or do what you want to despite how you feel and you refuse to allow fear or failure to keep you small.

It's about having the faith in yourself and your abilities and being prepared to get things wrong which will involve learning and trying again and again until you get it right rather than taking the easy option of giving in. 

In life there are no guarantees, our mind cannot predict the future even though it tries to so what ever you do you cannot always have the certainty everything will go well, but if you want to grow then you have to take small risks and chances. 

You need to be prepared to make mistakes and learn something from them and you have to embrace new challenges even if you feel unsure and then take what comes in your stride. 

Because it's OK to make mistakes, it's OK if things don't go to well as long as you tried, if you fall or fail, brush and laugh it off.

Let yourself know it's OK and it's no big deal and treat each negative experience as a learning process that will help you to grow stronger and more confidence. 

Because if you're afraid of failing, then you will fail to try.

The secret to self confidence is knowing how to change your subconscious programming and learning how to manage and change your state at the flick of a switch and there are techniques that you can learn that will allow you to switch your state by giving you a quick confidence boost. 

Confidence starts in the mind, all your actions, habits and behaviours are being run by your subconscious programming, when you learn how to change your subconscious programming then your confidence levels will rocket.

Control your emotions be more confident

As confidence is an emotional and physical state if you learn how to master your emotions it will help you to become more confident, fear, worry and anxiety are the biggest enemies of self confidence.

Most people get too emotionally involved with their inner thoughts and feeling which makes it difficult for them to stay calm, centered and balanced in the situations that they wish to be more confident.

Life can be like a roller coaster at times, which can make it very hard to stay in control of your emotions, even the very thought of learning that you have to do something different or something that normally challenges you can put you into an emotional spin.

You will gain much more inner strength and confidence and you will find it much easier to handle those stressful and challenging situations if you were in control of your feelings and emotions. The first step to mastering your emotions is to be aware of them and then learn how to recognize your emotional and stressful triggers.

The secret to becoming the master of your emotions and feelings is to catch them early whilst the emotional arousal is still small, if you allow your feelings to gather momentum then it's to late because you will have left things to0 late.

We learn to link thoughts with feelings and experiences and many people have trouble with anxious or unwanted bad feeling thoughts, but really you should not class thoughts as being bad and you should not believe you need to banish them forever. 

It would be far better to allow your mind to think the worst feeling thoughts whilst you learn how to react calmly to them and around them rather that getting annoyed and upset by them. 

Because once you start doing this you will find they will just become nuisance thoughts that you learn to quickly dismiss as just thoughts.

Instead of fighting with your mind, just see them as thoughts that are not real then calmly move them on because they can go just as easily as they came so long as you don't get emotionally involved with them, if you do then your mind will keep on returning to them.

The key is to learn how to spot the bad feeling thoughts early and either replace them, ignore them or learn how to problem solve. 

Why people have so much trouble with anxious or bad feeling thoughts is, although they know the situation or event is not a real danger, the accompanying feelings and sensations they experience are real.

The reason for this is because up until now you have been acting and responding as if the thoughts and images in your mind are real and you believe and you react as if you need to do something to prevent the perceived danger from happening.

But ask yourself, where and who are these thoughts coming from, learn to talk to yourself and challenge and override that voice in your head. 

Those so called fearful thoughts are not real they are just thoughts and ways your mind has learned to look at situations, therefore they should not be taken seriously unless the threat is real. 

After a while you're anxious and worry thoughts can become so repetitive and frequent and always popping up during times when you want to feel more confident and relaxed.

You can begin to think that there is something wrong with you which leads you into thinking that you must find a way to stop these unwanted thoughts, but as you know, you cannot make them stop by trying to stop them.

To tame those unwanted negative thoughts that rob you of all your confidence you need to retrain your brain to stop being afraid of them. 

You do this by doing too complete opposite to what you have been doing and instead of trying to block them and stop them you allow your mind to think them.

When you have them, embrace them and encourage your mind to keep thinking them or intentionally try to think about them whilst you decide how you choose to react to them. 

This way you will be teaching your mind that there a better and other ways to respond to those negative thoughts rather than reacting with fear, stress and anxiety all of which will zap your confidence.

Challenge the beliefs and evidence behind your limiting thoughts

Begin to label the unwanted thoughts as just being a thought that has no evidence or logical reasoning for you to treat as being serious and if there is no real danger then there is no need for you to react or take any preventive measure or actions.

This will teach your mind that they are not bad or threatening because after a while you start to begin to fear the thoughts if you keep on reacting badly to them, so it's the thoughts where the danger lies and not the situation for real.

Change the way you look at the fearful situation, otherwise if you keep on accepting that there is only one way to perceive and react then you will continue to keep on having the same thoughts and responses,

If you're having anxious thoughts, then, you will need to learn how to put a space in between the seed thoughts and the emotional and stressful arousal by learning how to observe your thoughts without doing anything other than letting them pass by peacefully.  

The big mistake nearly everybody makes with unwanted and anxious thoughts and feelings is they put too much effort into trying to stop them, but that just trains your mind to be afraid of your thoughts which also causes more negative thoughts and feelings.

The key is, not to give your anxious thoughts or feelings any attention, if you're trying to stop them that means you still have to think about them and what you think about you get more of so it becomes a vicious and never ending self propelling cycle.

If you start to feel anxious, flood your mind with happy tunes or hum happy songs to yourself in your mind, then put all your focus externally and do not give your negative thoughts or feelings any attention or time.

Don't allow that dominant inner voice to talk you down or talk you out of attempting new challenges, learn to direct your mind because your life and your body language will follow your most dominant thoughts.

If you're facing a new challenge or a fearful situation, do not be put off by your feelings, do what you want to do despite how you feel. 

The thing to do is to do it without thinking too much, act quickly if you can and just go for it because the more you think about something the more you will scare yourself and talk yourself out of doing what you want to do.

Try to avoid getting too emotionally involved in the things that make you stressed, cause you grief, annoyed, frustrated or angry. 

When you're having negative thoughts always remember that there is a positive polar opposite thought or way of perceiving each situation that will shift your energy back to feelings of calmness and positivity.

When you make negative statement about yourself or you will self doubt yourself, you put yourself down or criticize yourself, then you're going against who you really are and this will destroy your self confidence and it will have a negative influence on how you act and behave.

Make a conscious effort to think positive thoughts even at times when you're feeling bad or low and always look for the positive in every situation. 

You can boost your confidence and mood by praising yourself up and by keeping on telling yourself how worthy you are, how capable you are, how wonderful you are and awesome you are. 

Look After Your Body

Confidence is not all about the mind you also need to feel good and in order to feel good you have to look after your body. 

Smile more because when you frown you look and feel bad, if you're feeling down think about happy memories or the things that make you feel good.

Adapt a confident aligned, balanced, but relaxed body posture because there is a strong connection between our thoughts, feelings and your physiology. If you are suffering with low confidence or your shy then the chances are your body has slumped or collapsed.

Your fight or flight mechanism is linked and triggered by things your mind has learned to associate with being potentially dangerous which involves physical and emotional  changes in your body including your breathing, adrenaline and the stiffening of your muscles.

If your body is stressed or tensed, then this will backfire on you because your mind will associate these feelings with something bad is about to happen causing your mind to search through your fear files, hence why you get more anxious thoughts and feelings at times when you're feeling stressed, your breathing shallow or your muscles are tense. 

Your posture can influence your emotional state, tension in your body equals insecurity in the mind and if your body is out of alignment and balance, then your muscles will have to tighten up to support your body. Having a relaxed and poised body might not stop all your anxiety but it will significantly reduce it.

Tension will leave you with feelings of discomfort and if you feel uncomfortable, then you won't feel so confident. These days people are becoming more stationary and sometimes holding your body in a relaxed and aligned upright position is not enough to prevent muscle tightness.

Try to incorporate more physical activity into your daily routine and keep your joints free and active. Exercise and keep your joints moving and free of tension, try and avoid sitting and standing in position for long periods, get up and move about at regular intervals.

Always try to keep your body relaxed and calm. Relax regularly, sleep well and learn to control your breathing, avoid any slouching, tensing or stiffening as well as learning to reduce your stress.

Aim to eat a healthy and well balanced, varied diet because if you look after your body you will look and feel more confident.

Create a confidence switch and quickly change your state

Your mind works by associating two things together, if you think back to a happy time in your mind will immediately start to match up those good feeling emotions with that memory. 

Unfortunately, there is a downside to this as your mind is also very good at linking bad feelings to things such as negative experiences and things that you have become fearful of.   

If you have a fear of flying then you will automatically react with fear if you board a plane, you can even respond with fear just by merely thinking about flying, however if you enjoy flying then you will react with feelings of excitement and joy.

This is because throughout our lives, we are programmed by ourselves, our experiences and by others to respond in certain ways, these create neural associations which are known in the NLP circles as anchoring. 

Anchoring is an emotional switch technique that you can apply at any time to make a quick change of state so you can tap into feelings of confidence, courage, power and calmness by linking a stressful situation with a previous calm and confident state.

Anchoring basically connects a time where you felt or feel calm and confident with a time where you need to feel more calm and confident and it achieves this by allowing you to bring back those feelings of relaxation and power with the situation where you're starting to feel emotionally overwhelmed by activating an anchor trigger.

Anchors actually occur naturally and we link thoughts, feelings and connections automatically and they are widely used in advertising to associate happy feelings with what they are trying to promote. You can learn to associate feelings both good or bad with just about anything or any situation. 

An example of this is, think of your favourite food and notice how your body responds, you will probably notice your mouth begins to saliva and you feel good.

Now think about a food that you absolutely hate and detest and if you think about it for long enough you will begin to feel sickly. The same applies if you think about your favourite things or things that you don't like.

The good news is you can use this anchoring association to your advantage by learning how to relax yourself or get yourself into a confident and powerful state, then link those feelings of confidence, calm and comfort to a trigger switch and anchor that will instantly bring back those confident feelings you require.

When people are stressed they tend to push their tongue onto the roof of their mouth. One tip of bringing about feelings of calm is to relax your tongue and place it onto the bottom of your mouth and push it forward to the back of your lower gums. 

Once you have created a confidence trigger switch all you have to do is apply your anchor to give you a quick confidence boost.

Use NLP to make a more powerful confidence anchor

You can create your own confidence anchor by thinking back to a time or memory when you felt calm and confident and once you have brought back those good feelings you can squeeze your thumb and finger together to make that association. 

One of the hypnosis sessions teaches you how to create an powerful anchor, although you can create them by yourself it is far more easier and successful if you do it through the guidance of a qualified hypnotherapist. 

Why it is better is, the hypnotist will first deeply relax you before you create the anchor and because hypnosis is so relaxing you will be able to create a really calm anchor plus it is essential that you feel relaxed first otherwise you run the risk of anchoring negative emotions. 

The double cd also contains many other techniques, hypnosis session, modules and tips that have been used by confident and highly successful people.

Once you have created your confidence boosting anchor you can start to apply it to your daily life and the beauty of having a confidence trigger is you can use it in those in the moment real life situations when you feel as if you want a confidence boost or you find your confidence levels are starting to dip.

You can also use your anchor when you're having negative thoughts and imaginings, or if you want to rehearse a situation in your mind before the an upcoming stressful or challenging event where you feel you need more confidence.

Anchoring works by helping you to change the negative neural connections and physical responses that are responsible for the way you feel and respond in stressful and challenging situations.


Self Confidence Trainer CD
Self Confidence Trainer
(Double CD)

The Self Confidence Trainer leads you step-by-step towards greater confidence and self esteem.

Confidence boosting tips

When you're faced with a challenging situation create the belief that you are worthwhile, capable and good enough, before you enter that situation and always let yourself know that whatever happens you'll be OK and everything will go well.

Try and stay focused externally with the attitude that the situation is not going to kill you so you're going to do it. Be optimistic, give yourself an empowering pep talk and have faith in your abilities, then face the challenge head on with optimism and courage.

Change the way you think about challenges and end all that negative self doubting yourself. Replace the I can't or I am not very good at with, I can or I can learn to.

Be aware that you may make mistakes and have setbacks and they are not the end of the world. See yourself as winning and portray and picture yourself of having already achieved your task or goal before you have even attempted it.

Believe in yourself and believe that you have the choices and ability to learn, grow and improve, because when you believe that you cannot improve and grow, then you will accept that belief and you will remain stuck where you are.

We all have the capacity to change and grow, but what holds most people back is they allow those self destructive thoughts to freely occupy their minds. The human mind has evolved to focus on the negative as it tries to keep us safe.

But sometimes our quest to be safe can rob you of all the good life. It can become a habit to pick out our weaknesses, worries and issues, then magnify them out of proportion.

What often happens is we take one negative experience or flaw and we give it all our undivided attention, this pattern of thinking and behaviour can become obsessive and soul destroying.

It would be far more beneficial for you to focus less or ignore all your issues and worries and focus more on your strengths, your qualities and all the things you're good at. 

Although this can prove hard if you search for the good in you instead of focusing on the bad, then you will find it, this should include all the little things and all that is good in your life. 

You have not got to become super confident overnight so grow in confidence at a pace that is right for you. 

There are many things that you're good at and although confidence takes time you can continue to grow and get better for the rest of your life. 

Your brain has the capacity to change and you can keep learning new skills and developing your talents, there are no limits to what you can achieve so develop a growth mindset. 

Keep learning new skills and challenging yourself, keep active and keep your mind occupied and live your life in the now and let the future take care of itself. Enjoy the moment and face fear and do it despite how you feel because sometimes you have to go through the fear barrier to get to where you want to be.

If something is not working don't give up just try a new approach or tactic, accept you will have failures as being part of your development.

Turn your cannot's into I can or i'll learn and don't worry about being judged and start to focus on your passions instead of problems because we waste so much time and energy going over problems and getting no where.

Music can help you in positive ways, listen to empowering, inspiring or uplifting music to boost your mood, if you're feeling stressed or anxious listen to relaxing music.


Confidence Trigger


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