Posted by Steven 08-04-2017

Just Be The Real Authentic You

Are you hiding the real authentic you behind a mask, are you fed up with all the pretense and trying to be something that you're not.

From the moment we are born, we are told what is safe and what is not, we are told how we should behave, what we should and should not do and what we should and should not say.

Our mind is the most powerfullest biological computer that exists, what we put in comes back out, yet we have no real say in our early yet most important programming and conditioning.

Many people are held back due to some of the negative and limiting early childhood beliefs that were installed by others, which can have a negative impact on you for the rest of your life, if you do not release them and change them. 

As we become more self aware journey through our life we tend to lose a bit of our identity and character as we try to conform and fit in with the pack, just so we can feel socially acceptable. 

These days there seems to be more and more pressure on people to look good and everybody wants to come across confident and charismatic in front of others.

You have to sometimes ask yourself though, are you more interested in trying to please and impress others, than being your true self?

We tend to think everybody is judging us and everybody is our biggest critic, this can cause you to try and conform to how we think we should be perceived by others, instead of being and expressing who we really are.

There is nothing worse for setting you back or knocking you down, than a few negative suggestions or critical comments made by others.

But the truth is, our own biggest critic and judge is ourselves, the trouble is, when you treat yourself bad, then you are inviting others to treat you bad too.

Sometimes, because of the need to be perfect and flawless, we forget that we are human, if we embarrass ourselves, show ourselves up or we make a mistake, instead of letting it go, we beat ourselves up over it.

Many people think that they are not good enough, they are inadequate or they think that they need to change, this type of thinking however, just creates inner insecurities. 

For those who are not happy with parts of themselves or for those who think that they are not good enough, they look to change or wish to be like somebody else.

Some will go to great lengths to try to hide their insecurities or mask over them, even to the point of trying to fake their confidence or pretending to be someone who they aren't 

The trouble is, when you try to pretend to be someone you're not, this soon becomes exhausting and hard to keep up, others will use alcohol to help them be more confident and outgoing. 

In the long term you cannot fake confidence or try to hide who you really are, and eventually you will get found out.

It is far better to accept who you really are and then work on your weak points and improve on your strengths.

There is nothing wrong with being different, the world would be a dull place if we were all the same, so be proud of you you really are.

Many people become afraid of who they really are, so they try and project the image of what they think they should be and how they would like to be seen, this is often reinforced by the ego.

The trouble is, when you try to hide the real you, then you will start to create an inner battle and struggle with yourself.

Over time, as we endure to be like others, our true authentic self becomes buried and in its replacement comes what we think we should be in the presence of others. 

So what is your true authentic self?

You could describe the true authentic you as the person you are when you are alone by yourself.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be your best you, but you should never hate yourself, put yourself down or want to be someone else, because when you do that then you will be creating a negative self image of yourself.

Bring out your positive self

Starting from our early childhood we allow our life's experiences, the conditioning of others and our mistakes, setbacks and failures to form our perceptions of ourselves and the world.

Our bad experiences and dislikes about ourselves go on to form our fears and insecurities, then as we become more self aware of ourselves and our perceived weaknesses and flaws we create insecurities about ourselves.

Many people suffer with the "not enoughs" this is partly due to comparing themselves to others or developing body image issues.

Your negative self image, is basically the person you don't want to be or the you that you don't want to reveal to the world, this is what fuels much of your insecurities.

When you try to be perfect all the time, then you will struggle through life, yes, strive to grow and be the best version of you, but give yourself permission to get things wrong occasionally.

What you have to remember is, all the negative traits that you hold about yourself and all your negative and limiting beliefs are not yours.

They are just what you have created after a bad experience or they have been given to you when you were very young.

This means that they are not facts, just beliefs, then they can be changed.

You make your own beliefs, then you become your beliefs and you live your life by your beliefs.

Much of our insecurities and our negative self image are programmed into us by our parents, brothers or sisters, teachers, ex partners, friends and peers.

Once we have been told something negative about ourselves a few times we tend to accept it and believe it as being true, which can have a negative effect on us until we decide to change it.

Even if it was said in jest or in the heat of the moment, we can still take it on board. 

Perhaps you were told as a child that you were shy, not good enough, you were teased and called names, told you were stupid, you will never amount to much or you were criticized or judged negatively.

All those negative and untrue suggestions, can cause you to shape a negative self image about you, which will all play a role in your character, personality and what you do and become.

It is sad that many people are still suffering due to the opinions and harsh comments made by others when they were too young to dismiss them or understand any different.

The real truth is, you are more powerful, unique, creative and capable, than your negative self and ego can ever begin to imagine and comprehend.

Instead of trying to paper over the cracks, admit and accept your weaknesses, identify your limitations and negative beliefs.

Once you accept them, you can then work on improving what you can do and letting go of what you cannot change. 

To avoid a life of inner struggle, it is far better to accept your perceived weaknesses and your inner insecurities about who you are, and admit them to you.

This does not mean you have to live with your negative self image, but it will help you to end the pretense and release any negative resistance and inner conflict.

Once you have made peace with yourself, then you can start to praise yourself and start to say positive self statements and use positive self talk.

Saying a few positive things about you, will not make that much difference, especially if you have been using negative self talk for years. 

But when you make it, a new habit and a new way of doing things, then bit by bit you will transform and grow.

All you have to do is, be mindful and aware of any negative self language or thoughts, then say the exact positive opposite, because there is always a positive option to all negative thoughts and spoken words.

Most of our actions, thought processes, fears, anxieties, limitations and much more are controlled by our subconscious negative beliefs, insecurities and negative programming, and they will go on controlling you until you reprogram your subconscious mind and you release your limitations.

Changing your self image

Your self image is probably the most powerful part of who you are, it controls much of what you think and even to a degree, how you feel. 

Your self image can dictate the successes you achieve or don't achieve, your career successes and how you fit in and perform socially.

It controls just about everything, it is your perception of yourself. 

You can have a positive self image or a negative self image of you, one will lead you to a happy life the other will cause you a life of misery, struggle and stagnation.

Your, self-image, is basically the perception you have of yourself, and it will set the base level for your comfort zone, your confidence, your successes and your general happiness.

Your self image will represent 

  • How you view and identify yourself 
  • How you value yourself  
  • How you feel about yourself
  • Your self worth 
  • How you react and handle pressure or challenging situations 
  • The things that you will or won't do 

Although our parents and family meant well, and they probably passed on to you many positive words of encouragement and praise.

Without them realizing it, they also probably relayed to you, many negative messages, suggestions and statements about you, your future, the world around you how you're supposed to live your life.

Many of the messages and beliefs that your parents gave to you were given to them by their parents and peers.

Then when you started school, you may have picked up the opinions and beliefs of others or you thought that you needed to talk and act the same way as everybody else so you could fit in with the crowd.

Many people try to compare themselves to others, but you are a unique individual, and there is nobody else quite like you.

One of the reasons why we try to be like everybody else because of the fear of being singled out, teased or ridiculed, even our teachers can mold us, this can be in a positive manner or a negative and critical one.

You often hear people say things like

  • I am not very good at 
  • I am not a lucky person
  • Good things like that never happen to me 
  • I am not a confident person 
  • I am not that type of person

Most people just accept their own self image and they never attempt to change it.

But your self image is not set in stone and it can be changed, and if you want things to change on the outside you first have to change on the inside.

If you see yourself as a confident and capable person, then this will reflect out on your experiences. 

The more you begin to start to believe in yourself and you start to affirm and see yourself as the person that you want to be.

What you will find is, the new you on the outside will start to match the new you on the inside. 

Before you begin to change your self image, and you cannot forcefully do it, accept who you are, including all your perceived flaws and weaknesses and start to love, like and approve of yourself.

To change your self image, you need to let go of your old negative self and then decide how you want to be and what you want to do, then start to install that new you into your mind.

Use your powerful imagination to see yourself acting and being the new you, imagine yourself in specific situations acting, performing and behaving as you would like to be, see it, feel it and be it in your mind.

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