Emotional Intelligence:Learn How To Control Your Emotions
If you do nothing else, the one thing you should do which will dramatically improve your life for the better is, practice developing and applying emotional intelligence.

Because, the ability to be able to be mindful of what triggers your negative emotional responses is the most important skill that you could ever possibly have or learn.

Everyday, your emotions will influence your moods and actions, they will have a big impact on your life, both in a good way and bad, and the trick is, to start to have more and more good feeling days and less bad.

Life isn't always easy, and we all have bad experiences and we all get knocked back, but developing emotional intelligence, will determine how long you stay down and how long you allow the negative momentum and mood to carry on.

Although some situations can cause you temporary grief, anger or hurt, it is not the situation that causes you the majority of emotional pain, it is the thoughts that you have about the situation afterwards, that causes all the emotional suffering.

When you develop mindfulness and emotional intelligence, then you will be able to step in a stop all that stress, anxiety and negative moods, and you will soon discover that your good days get better and more frequent, and your bad days get better and less frequent.

Your emotions dictate, your behaviours, your performances and how you feel,  we all live our lives by our emotions, sadly though, most people live the majority of their lives in negative emotions or in the negative emotions of their problems and worries.

Understanding your emotions will help you to get to know yourself better and become a better you, it will also help you to understand others around you, and what they're going through.

Master your emotions master your life

Emotional intelligence is developing the ability to be able to identify, assess and manage your emotions so you can control and quickly change your state at will.

Emotions, make or break us, they are the difference between living a good, successful and happy and fulfilling life, and living a life of struggle, failure and pain.

Master your emotions and you will master your life, but if you fail to master your emotions, you will live your life in the grip of them

If you want to be a happy and successful, then you need to start to be able to identify what makes you tick and what makes you react negatively.

Emotional intelligence, is learning to understand the thought processes that make you feel angry, anxious, stressed, negative or sad. 

By being mindful to any shift in your state, will allow you to be able to quickly dismiss and disconnect yourself from any bad feeling thoughts, so you can focus on anything that does not evoke a negative emotional reaction, which will bring you back to the peace of the here and now.

Emotional intelligence is not just about your thoughts, it also involves, becoming aware of all the different types of situations and circumstances that cause you to react badly. 

Negative emotions can keep you small and stuck in your comfort zone, causing you to hold back, not act and play it safe, and if you want to grow and increase your confidence, then you have to step out of your comfort zone, so you can keep on extending its barriers.

Learning how to control your emotions will help you to restore those calm and blissful feelings as well as helping you to prevent all the emotional stress, emotional arousal and all the other unpleasant negative emotions.

Emotional intelligence and mindfulness, will allow you to understand and gain control of your moods as well as helping you to reduce your stress.

You can use your emotions as an inner guidance system, because they are a great indication of what's going on in your inner world and whether you're on course to where you're going or not. 

Negative emotions usually mean you're focusing on what you don't want or what you don't have but you do want, and just by thinking about what you want, can be enough to bring you back into balance and alignment.

Your emotions can relay important messages from your subconscious mind or inner being, if you are experiencing negative emotions.

It could mean there is something you need to pay attention to, or you're not in alignment with who you really are or where you want to be, so you need to make some adjustments in your thinking, attitude and perceptions.

Your emotions act as your inner guidance system, they can let you know, if you're straying off course from whom you really are and where you want or don't want be.

Once you harness the skill of emotional intelligence, it will put you in control, and you will start to be the master of your own thoughts and feelings, instead of them controlling you, this will help to point you in the right direction.

Emotional intelligence, will help you to decode the messages coming from your subconscious mind so you recognize and realize that there is something you need to pay attention to or you need to change your focus of attention, and it is a skill, everybody should learn.  

Learn how to control your emotions and feel calm, happy, balanced and in control.

What are emotions

What are emotions? Emotions are messages and guidance in the form of thoughts, images and feeling responses that are sent from our inner self. 

They are indicators of where you are at the present moment, what you're focused on and how you're responding to things that are happening to you in your outside environment. 

Your emotions are also indicators of where you are at the current moment compared to where you want to be they are also how you have learned to respond to people, circumstances and situations. 

Your emotions will either make you or break you and those who learn how to control and master their emotions and feelings go onto to master their lives. 

Your emotions are everything and the positive emotions are where you should want to be and when you learn how to control your emotions you will stop allowing your circumstances and other people from controlling you and how you feel.

Everything you do is geared to making you feel good and throughout your life you will come to learn to associate different emotional responses to many different things and memories both positive and negative. 

To test this think back to a happy memory and stay with it for a while and notice what emotional response you feel then think about a bad memory and notice how your energy shifts. The same applies when you look forward to something or you dread a forthcoming event.

Our emotions are a wide range of none physical feelings that trigger and manifest as physical and chemical changes and responses in your body, they also play a role in what happens to you in your outer reality.

Your natural state is to be calm and to feel good and it is the negative emotions that cause all t the problems. You will experience negative emotions when you are resisting what is instead of accepting what is and moving on, or when you focus on what you don't want and things going wrong. 

Most people get stuck in a negative state because they continually allow their current situation or what they observing to control  their thinking patterns, how they feel, their actions and their decision making. 

The secret to a happy and successful life and to become the person you secretly want to be is totally down to your ability to control your emotions and manage your state. 

Regardless of what has happened or what is happening around you or to you because nothing will change in your life until you change your emotional state.

 Things that affect your emotions

You don't feel how your feeling due to luck or chance because what emotional state you find yourself in most of the time is largely down to you and the choices you are making.

You can begin changing how you feel at any given moment in time regardless of what your external situation is (accept for extreme cases and adverse situations).

There are three main things that effect your emotions, these are

  1. Your focus of attention 
  2. Your self talk 
  3. Your body posture and physiology

Your focus of attention 

What you give your attention to expands and gathers momentum. What your thinking about will have a matching energy and whilst you carry on thinking about a certain subject or problem you will continue to hold onto the energy that matches your thoughts and focus of attention.

Your thoughts and the corresponding emotions will influence your actions and decision making therefore your emotions and focus of attention will have a large impact on your life, in fact we live our lives by our emotions.

Focusing on what you don't want breeds fear and feelings of insecurity which will take you away from where you want to go and who you want to be where as when you face your fears and let them pass and you then focus on what you do want your energy will shift and you will begin to head in the direction you want to.

Your inner self talk 

Your inner self talk which is the things you tell yourself and those self limiting questions that you ask yourself can have a large impact on how you feel, it provides and fills your mind with feedback which your mind will use to determine your thoughts and feelings, both positive and negative, so the more positive feedback you give it the better. 

If you use self defeating and sabotaging language, you say bad things about yourself or your abilities or you constantly criticize yourself and pull yourself down all the time then that will make you feel bad.     

If you use those types of victim kind of questions like, why do things always go wrong for me or why can't I questions then they will give you a negative emotional response. The same applies to the words you speak about yourself or your life to others.

Be kind to yourself, if you're self critical, stop it now, use positive self talk to encourage, motivate and empower you, you can also use it to reassure your anxious mind, that everything will be OK.

Your body posture and physiology

Your thoughts and emotions affect your physical body and your physical body and physiology affects your emotions and to an extent what train of thought patterns you're having.

How you’re using your body will have an influence on how your feeling, when we drop our heads and hunch up our shoulders we will start to go into a negative and insecure state. If you tense your body and lift your chest up in a rigid stance you will begin to feel more frustrated and defensive.

Your muscles are linked to the fight or flight reflex response, this means tense muscle can shift you into a startled mode. 

When you're feeling stressed you will experience physical and chemical changes in your body and your breathing will become shallower and during times of stress you will be more prone to the emotions associated with anxiety and anger.

Anytime you find yourself in a negative state, relax into an upright, but aligned, poised and balanced posture.

Then take a few deep breaths. You’ll find that you’re able to start to shift towards a more relaxed and balanced state of mind and body, 

Your emotions are your inner guidance system

Your emotions act as your internal guidance system and although there are a whole range of emotions that you can experience, the reality is you have good feeling emotions and bad feeling emotions.

In your life you have generally two variations to all your experiences, situations and outcomes which are usually exact opposites which you could describe as, in one reality you have all the things you want and in another reality you have all the things that you don't want.

You are always moving either into the frequency of all things you want or you're switching into the frequency of all the things you don't want depending on which emotional state you're in.

You can easily tell which way you're heading by the way you feel and if you're experiencing bad feeling emotions that's your inner guidance system telling you're not in a very good place at the present moment and you need to something like

  • Accept your situation and move on
  • Deal with your situation
  • Change what you're thinking about or the way you're thinking about it
  • Take action steps if necessary 
  • Focus on what you want and not what you don't want

Get the positive momentum going

It can be hard to move from thinking yourself out of a negative state, especially if you've been stuck there for quite a while and your mind is not going to buy into the belief  if all of a sudden you pretend everything is wonderful.

So sometimes you have to ease and feel your way into a better feeling place by just starting off with some general types of feel good thoughts of hope and optimism like, 

  • Things are getting better 
  • My life's improving 
  • There are plenty of opportunities for me
  • Good things/times are coming my way 
  • Things are starting to work out for me 
  • Only good is coming my way 
  • I am heading in the right direction

Often it's not your situation that makes you feel bad, but more of a case of how you think and perceive your situation because when you see your situation or life as all or nothing then you're going to struggle to move into a more positive feeling place.

Sometimes to move out of a bad feeling place you have to accept what is or what you think might then put all your focus and energy into what can and what will be in the future. 

There is no big hurry to drastically change your outside circumstances immediately, to start off with your just searching for thoughts and idea's that are going to start to make you feel better.

If you want to change your emotional state to those good feeling emotions, then sometimes you have to put aside all your worries and desires for a while and just try to focus on all the good things you have. 

Like your health or maybe your home, your family and circle of friends, the fact that you have a job or you have the talents and skills to get a job just pick anything that you can feel grateful or proud of that will offer you a good feeling.

You will tell if you're on the right track of how you're feeling, at the start don't overdo the optimism or positive thinking and don't try to hard. 

The idea is to build up the positive emotion bit by bit and that's why it's better to start off with more general good feeling thoughts rather than going straight into thinking big.

Listen and express your emotions 

In western society we far too often try and suppress or ignore our emotions. This is wrong and can potentially have damaging consequences, leading to depression, anger issues, and anxiety. 

You should always acknowledge your feelings, if you're angry, you can say, " I am feeling angry right now, how I want to be is peaceful and calm, the same applies if you're feeling anxious or sad. 

Any time you become aware of negative feelings, it means it is an invitation for you to start to choose pleasant thoughts which will deliver you a more positive and desired outcome.

Once you develop the awareness and skills of emotional intelligence then your life is going to change for the better, no more emotional arousal or stress, it is never a good idea to try and ignore or suppress your emotions because they won't go away, in fact the more you try and resist them the stronger they become.

By developing emotional intelligence you will get to know what the message your mind is trying to deliver to you and even more importantly, you will have the tools to prevent all the misery and overwhelm. 

Emotional intelligence is about listening to your emotions and learns how to distinguish between a real threat or challenge to you and a threat to your ego and pride. So you need to relay a message back to your subconscious mind that there is no real threat and everything's OK. 

 Negative emotions

Negative emotions keep you fixated on your worries or troubles, when your experiencing negative emotions and stress your mind will search for more worries and anxieties to try and validate and make meaning of your negative emotional and physical state.


Fear is a direct stressful response to an outside threat or stimuli when most of the time, there is a real risk or chance of danger or serious harm to yourself.


If the threat or danger is real then you will need to take urgent and immediate action, if the danger is not real then you need to face the fear and let it pass. 

Do not be afraid or bothered by your feelings, the worse thing that you can do, is believe and think, that you have to deal with or get rid of your fear, instead embrace it, and do what you want to do, despite the fearful feelings. 

The trick with fear is, to observe it, allow it to carry on, and practice putting your focus on something else, or the task you're doing, if you fight it, then it will fight back harder, if you allow it and let it have it's brief moment, then it will quickly pass.


Anxiety is an indication that we sense something bad is about to happen in the not to distant future, it is your mind doing a risk assessment and the message is warning us to be prepared to avoid or prevent the perceived threat. 

Unfortunately, you can evoke the same emotional response just by imagining and anticipating that something bad is about to happen.


Again, if there is the potential of any harm coming to you then you will need to do what's necessary to keep you safe. However, most of our anxieties are not genuine threats so you will need to learn how to manage your anxious thoughts.


Frustration is usually an indication that you are not getting what you want or you are not getting your desired outcome or achieving your goals or when you're already stressed and things aren't going well for you or people are annoying you.


Sometimes you have to learn to deal with and accept what is and stop trying to hard and trust everything will work out fine. When you learn to relax deeply and you reduce your stress and tension you will find that the things that were annoying you will not bother you as much and you will handle situations better.


Anger indicates that either someone is not conforming to your expectations or someone has overstepped the mark or your boundaries. It is also a emotional and physical response when we feel threatened or we think we need to stand up for ourselves or our rights. 

Anger can manifest when we dwell on a situation that you feel you have not previously dealt with sufficiently. Anger can also become habitual to situations that have upset you in the past.


To let go of your anger you have to learn to let go of what's causing it as well as training yourself to respond differently by pausing and breathing deeply when you notice yourself getting angry. Also, seeing things from other people's perspective will help combined with again learning to relax deeply and reduce your stress.


Sadness indicates that some of our needs are probably not being met, either on a personal and psychological level or we are neglecting our physical self along with some of our fundamental basic natural needs and requirements, such as sleep, rest, diet. 

Feeling sad when we are not getting what we believe we need can first be installed when we are babies because we learn to associate crying which is an emotional state with our needs. 

It can also indicate you have not at present got the power to cope or deal with even the simplest of situations, often from being run down and mentally or physically exhausted. 

We also feel sad when we think we about to lose something or we have already lost something and we are desperate to get it back.


Sometime you have to accept what has happened and move on, what happened has happened. You will also need to develop a positive mental attitude and a more positive outlook on life.

When your body is run down you need to listen and find time to relax, slow down and have some quality time to yourself.


Negativity can sometimes be an indication that you need to re-evaluate a situation or change your direction, or you are not on course to achieve your goals or expectations, for example say you are working on a project and you start to feel negative about it. 

It could be sending you a message telling you something's not quite right and you may need to alter or change things. Either you need to lower your expectations and standards or ask yourself how I can improve the situation. 


It's fine to use a bit of negativity to keep you guarded against genuine problems and outcomes, you can also use it to help you to improve things or certain area's of your life or do things differently.

But that's where the benefits of negativity should stop because most of the time negativity is soul destroying and it is a complete waste of time and energy. Practice only focusing on what can and will be and give all your attention to all that is good in life and all the good things you can have.

 What is emotional intelligence 

Emotional intelligence is all about learning to monitor your own thoughts feelings and emotions so you can recognize what is triggering your emotions and feeling's especially in the case of negative emotions and learning how to use that knowledge to quickly stop the onset of the negative emotional arousal and negative momentum.

Emotional intelligence is having the skills and understanding to recognize, assess and evaluate your own emotions and situations, emotions govern and determine our whole lives, most people assume our emotions are all about the mind however this is not true. 

You can teach yourself how to develop emotional intelligence so you can become more self-aware of the thoughts and actions that trigger any unwanted feeling's. 

This will allow you to utilize this skill to become more positive, become better at perceiving situations plus you will become more agreeable and more understanding.

Thoughts, actions and feeling's determine the quality of our lives, people are dogged daily by negative thoughts and emotions because they have not learned how to manage their emotions.

When you learn how to manage and control your thoughts and emotions you will take control of how you feel.

Emotionally intelligent people are more socially positive and less likely to turn to drink, smoking and other addictive substances and behaviours and although emotional intelligence can have huge benefits for your own personal life, it is also a very useful skill to have to help and understand other people's feelings and difficulties.

Understanding your emotions can benefit your life, but it can also help you to be more aware of how others are feeling. 

This can be a great attribute for leadership training because you can use emotional intelligence in the workplace which will give you a distinct advantage by helping you to improve your management skills. 

Emotions come in the form sensations, feelings and chemical processes in the body, the Chinese believe emotions are linked to the balance of energy that flows freely around our bodies along channels and when the energy is flowing freely we experience a state of calm and happiness. 

Both negative and unresolved emotional problems disrupt the flow of energy around our body's and cause an energy blockage, preventing it from flowing freely around our bodies. This blockage results in the form of negative emotions such as anger, fear, anxiety, stress and depression.

Emotional intelligence is about listening to your emotions and learns how to distinguish between a real threat or challenge to you and a threat to your ego and pride. So you need to relay a message back to your subconscious mind that there is no real threat and everything's OK. 

Express your emotions 

In western society we far too often try and suppress or ignore our emotions. This is wrong and can potentially have damaging consequences, leading to depression, anger issues, and anxiety. 

You should always acknowledge your feelings, if you're angry, you can say, " I am feeling angry right now, how I want to be is peaceful and calm, the same applies if you're feeling anxious or sad. 

Any time you become aware of negative feelings, it means it is an invitation for you to start to choose more pleasing thoughts which will deliver you a more positive and desired outcome.

Once you develop the awareness and skills of emotional intelligence then your life is going to change for the better, no more emotional arousal or stress, 

It is never a good idea to try and suppress your emotions because they won't go away by force, in fact the more you try and resist them the stronger they become.

By developing emotional intelligence you will get to know what the message your mind is trying to deliver to you and even more importantly you will have the tools to prevent all the misery and overwhelm. 

Emotional intelligence is about listening to your emotions and learns how to distinguish between a real threat or challenge to you and a threat to your ego and pride. So you need to relay a message back to your subconscious mind that there is no real threat and everything's OK. 

Inward emotions result in physical symptoms and reactions in the body 

Our inward emotions can show on the outside in the form of our body language, posture, facial expressions, blushing and our voice tone. When people are sad there posture slumps and they tend to look down and their jaw slumps, they speak quietly and may struggle to get their words out. 

An angry person will tense their muscles as if they are ready for a fight, they will clench and show their teeth their voice will be loud and aggressive often with a screwed up and red face.

People who are anxious, enter into a submissive stance and posture, and they look guarded and again may struggle with their speaking. 

Positive and confident people display an upright posture, look straight instead of down at the floor, they will talk clearly and confidently. Our body posture is a reflection of what's going on in our mind. 

Developing your own emotional intelligence is important because it gives you the awareness to be-able to identify and assess and control your own emotions so you can learn to understand your own feelings, fears and moods. 

This will then leave you able to remain more evenly calmer and positive throughout your day to day life.

Emotional intelligence can play a vital role in your general health and well being, when you become skilled at becoming aware when you are shifting into a different emotional state, then you can begin to learn how to manage your emotions which is a massive advantage you will gain.

You will avoid falling into the trap of becoming angry, stressed, frustrated, fearful or sad, preventing unnecessary damage to your health, social life, friendships and relationships. 

You can learn to develop the skills to keep you aware of the changing moods we experience during our daily lives thus preventing yourself from slipping into a negative state.

We can easily go through a range of emotions during our day to day lives, depending on what we are thinking about or what's happening around us, by increasing your emotional intelligence and learning the skills to recognize and control your emotions you can greatly improve your quality of life. 




Finding Happiness 

Tap into your true spiritual happiness

Manage Your Anger

Learn how to deal with the root cause  of your anger

Reduce Your Stress

Start to  lower your stress levels and return back to inner peace

Positive Thinking

Enjoy the many health benefits of positive thinking 

 Meditation For Stress

Nearly all the most successful people relax for  twenty minutes a day 

Manage Anxious Thoughts

Stop fighting with your thoughts and learn how to quieten them

Overcoming Fear

Wise up to fear and learn how to tame and outsmart the beast

 Dealing With Worry

Worrying can effect your health and quality of life

Be More Successful

Tips on how to become more successful in your life

End Panic Attacks

Help to end panic attacks and general anxiety disorder

The Power Of Hypnosis

Use the power of hypnosis to tap into the software of your mind

New Years Resolutions

Out with the old and in with the new ideal and more happier you