How To Stop Blushing And Feel More Socially Relaxed And Confident
Your excessive blushing problem, your levels of confidence and how bad and uncomfortable you feel, is not a permanent state that you have to remain forever stuck in, for the rest of your life.
It is just a representation of where you are in your life, at the moment and an accumulation of many different things, such as:
Your lifestyle, diet, stress, tension, your mindset, your belief systems, tiredness and the learned response and fears, that you have formed.
You may think, that your excessive blushing problem is all psychological, and yes your mindset and bad memories, plays a big role.
But, your biology, lifestyle and physiology, also plays a huge role in the way you feel, think and respond.
The good news is. You have the ability, to change and overcome this problem, but first you have to take a deep look at yourself and you also have to start to look at, what is the real root cause of your blushing and social anxiety problem.
If you take look back in time, you'll soon start to see how you arrived at, the bad feeling place, where you at are today.
Because, where you are now and how you think, feel and respond is a direct result of what has happened to you in the past, your lifestyle and your thoughts, perceptions and belief systems.
Part of your problems is because, you're now allowing your painful past, negative blushing and social experiences, to control your now and cause you to constantly worry and scare yourself silly, about your future.
Just because of the mere shame, embarrassment, fear and anxiety, of going red.
Every negative social or embarrassing experience that has happened to you, is recorded in your mind, it is then used to gauge, how you think, behave, feel and react in the future.
Your blushing and anxiety problem, did not suddenly appear overnight, it is a result of an accumulation and build up, of many different negative things, circumstances and situations.
If you begin to honestly, analyse your past, you will start to see how one thing lead to another and another.
The only reason why excessive blushers struggle to overcome it, is because they don't understand what is causing it and they don't know what to do, to prevent it from happening.
Excessive blushing and high levels of anxiety, are just a state of being, which you can quickly let go of.
An excessive blusher, just doesn't no how to change their state, which leaves them stuck in a nervous and anxious state of dread, panic and anticipation,
Which will almost inevitably lead to a red faced embarrassed, should the slightest bit if attention be directed their way.
You cannot stop blushing, if you keep on fearing it happening and you cannot stop the fear of blushing until you accept that it might happen, and your OK with that.
The trick is to stop all the emotional arousal, before it has time to gather too much momentum, because it is all the anxiety, worry and fear that maintains your excessive blushing patterns, link with danger and the self perpetuating cycle.
You cannot get rid of your fear, blushing or anxiety by trying to get rid of it or stop it, that just causes even more emotional arousal and suffering.
Fear and the negative emotions, are two contrasting and separate energy frequencies. The thing to be aware of is, you cannot experience feelings of fear and feelings of calm at the same time.
Therefore, the best way to cure your fear and anxiety, is to replace the feelings and sensations of fear, with the positive and calm emotions.
Get it into the habit of focusing on what you want and how they want to be, instead of focusing on what you don't want, all you'll start to notice a shift in your energy.
Always focus, imagine and think about what you want and how you would like to be, instead of focusing on, what you don't want.
It is also a good idea to decide what you want and how you want to be or feel and make it your dominant intention to get there.
Because, when you set a positive goal and you focus on what you want, your mind will start to look for ways, to help you get there.
It's all about thoughts, feelings, responses, attitudes and perceptions.
If you keep telling yourself, you must not blush and you keep dreading it happening, it will cause more anxiety, worry, nervous anticipation and panic, which will fuel the blushing and anxiety cycle and give it more power over you
However, if you change your attitude to something like.
I couldn't care less if I blush, so what or its is OK if I blush.
Then, bit by bit, it will begin to lose it's power and hold it has, on you and you will start to blush less and less.
One of the reasons, why you have such a big issues with it, is because you worry about it happening, so much.
Another tip that can help you is, start to replace all those feelings and thoughts of dread and worry, with positive words and emotions, such as:
Joy, happy, look forwards to, excited.
Anxiety and excited have the same physical symptoms, the only difference is, you associate, feeling anxious with a negative or something bad is about to happen,
But, if you change the word or thought of anxiety or fear, with:
"I feeling excited"
Then you will start to tag those feelings, as a positive and with something good is about to happen.
The same applies with negative thoughts and words.
If you say, I don't want to blush or you dread the thought of attending a social event or you worry about or fear having to face a certain social situation.
What you will be doing on a subconscious level, is:
You will be conditioning your mind, to associate those social situations or specific people, as being threatening, so your mind will use strong and powerful feelings and emotions, to try and make you avoid or leave that situation.
And, when you're in that situation for real, you will be stuck in a nervous state of anticipation, dread and fear.
However, if you use positive words or thoughts, like:
- "I am looking forwards to"
- "I am happy to"
- "That seems like fun"
- "I will enjoy"
- "I would love to"
Then you will start to associate these social situations, with being fun and enjoyable, which will leave you feeling more relaxed and confident.
If you find yourself feel anxious and you're at the point of blushing, instead of freezing and panicking and telling yourself.
"I don't want to blush, I must not blush"
Relax your shoulders, relax your stomach, breathe deeply and, repeatedly and silently tell yourself.
"I want to blush"
What you must not do is try to resist or try not to blush. When you feel you might blush, offer it zero resistance.
Again, relax, don't fight it, let it happen, and get out of your head and focus on what you're doing or saying, carry on as normal, and let it happen and let it go, without offering it any resistance, at all.
It is also vitally important, if you do blush, not to create a fearful and bad memory.
If it happens, shrug it off, let it go, tell yourself it is OK and then work on that situation, never dwell on it, beat yourself up or hold onto it.
Take A Look At These Highly Recommended Stop Blushing Products
Quit, trying to fight and defeat your blushing
Blushing is a perfectly natural human response to a stressful external stimuli, and we all go red and we all feel embarrassed at times.
Blushing only turns from a minor annoyance to a big major problem that consumes all your thinking time and energy.
The moment that you tell yourself, you must never go red again and the moment you choose to play it safe or avoid any situation, where you know it might happen.
There was probably a time when, you didn't really worry about blushing, and if it did happen, even though it might have frustrated you a little, it probably didn't really bother you that much.
But for some reason, you reached a point, where something happened which caused you to attach your fight, flight, freeze response to your red face and all the social trigger situations, where it might happen.
Maybe, somebody pointed it out in front of others, maybe someone exposed one of your flaws or weaknesses or maybe you was going through a period of high stress or worry.
Whatever triggered your blushing problem, your brain managed to associate your blushing or your negative or embarrassing experience as being dangerous, and it then spread into many other areas of your life.
Everybody has their own way of perceiving themselves and their blushing, some may dismiss it, shrug it off and instantly let it go, therefore they will not see it as a problem, and because of this attitude, it won't happen to them that much.
Whilst others, will feel dwell on it, because they tend to feel more ashamed, humiliated and embarrassed about it happening.
Often they will see it as a weakness, and they will go to great lengths to try and avoid it, play it safe or they will try to fight it and stop it from happening, what they don't always realize is:
When you try and defeat it or you constantly worry and anticipate it happening or you try to stop it from happening, you will make it significantly worse and a lot more likely to happen.
Because, when you attempt to fight it or stop it, you will create a fear of the blushing itself and a fear of any social situation, where there is a remote chance, it might happen.
This is why you get all those anxious thoughts, all those what if I blush thoughts and imagings.
The more you fear blushing the more likely it will happen, not to mention all of that anxiety and emotional suffering, that comes with a blushing problem.
Did you know that you cannot stop blushing by trying to stop it?
But you can learn to rewire your brain keep your body calm, once you learn how to begin to replace all those fearful response and all that excessive and frequent heat in the face, with calm responses and a cool and blush free face.
Although a blushing problem is often linked to embarrassments, there are many others reasons, for why your face goes red.
You're face can go red, when you feel threatened or intimidated, by other people or certain social situations or pressure situations.
Your brain, can also learn to associate blushing and the social situations that might cause it to happen, as being threatening.
You face will also go red, when you attach your fight, flight, freeze response to the strong emotions, such as:
Once you have attached your fight, flight, freeze response and danger, to these negative emotions.
Every time you experience any of these emotions, you fight, flight, freeze response becomes activate, a rush of adrenaline will be released into your body.
Your heart rate will increase, your breathing will become rapid, the veins in your face will widen allowing blood to rush into your face ad your muscles will tense, which will force even more blood into your face.
This will intensify those strong negative emotions and strengthen the neural connections in your brain, that link the fear emotional response, with danger.
The fear and fight or flight response and all those negative feelings, confusion and panic, will make you want to leave, avoid or make a quick escape from the situation, even though you know logically, that you're perfectly safe and you aren't in any danger.
After after a while, you're biggest issues is not the blushing.
it is all the fear of it happening and all the emotional suffering and the fact that you've attached it to your fight or flight response, that has become your major problem.
The way to free yourself of this problem, is to break the link between blushing, your social trigger and danger and your fight or flight response.
Blushing is also linked to negative thoughts and all those low confidence feelings and emotions, that are associated with insecurity, feel sad and low confidence.
Low confidence emotions and blushing are often associated with, poor posture, food intolerance, depression, exhaustion, tiredness, stress, tension, fear and anxiety.
Ways to break the blushing and anxiety link and cycle
There are many things that you can do, that will help you reduce your levels of discomfort and prevent yourself from going bright red.
Blushing is linked to fear and social anxiety, and if you have a blushing and social anxiety problem, it can leave you feeling drained, defeated and confused.
Although you may feel like there is something wrong with you, you might be surprised to know that there are thousands of other people, who are struggling with this problem.
You might think that your different, but the truth is, you're no different to anybody else, because we are all, exactly the same.
You just think differently, feel different and you have a different set of beliefs, idea's, plus you have trained yourself to respond differently, which can be changed, because everything is within your control.
When you're socializing, all that anxiety, worry and nervous anticipation, can make you feel very tense, stressed and uncomfortable.
Even the mere thought of going red, can send a shockwave of fear, throughout your body, and the only thing that you want to do is to leave or avoid the situation that is causing all that dread and fear.
You probably just feel like you want to be alone or stay away from most, if not all social interaction.
If you want to begin to end your excessive blushing and your daily emotional suffering, there are a few things that you want to know and understand.
Everytime, feel anxious, provides you with an opportunity to relax and for everytime you start to go red, there is a better way to reacting and going about things.
The first mistake, nearly all blushers make, is:
They try to control and forcefully fight and stop their blushing and anxiety.
This just creates more stress, worry, fear and anxiety, which inevitably, leads to more intense facial redness attacks.
If you feel anxious, do not try and control it or fight it, just relax and allow it to happen, because when you give up the fight and you accept a bit of discomfort and suffering and you get out of the way and you allow it to happen, it will pass bye and fade away, more quickly.
Because when you accept your feelings, and you allow your mind to experience all thoughts and you allow your body to experience all feelings, without you reacting, you will be able to manage and change your state.
Just let your mind experience those anxious thoughts, let those feelings travel up through your body and away, and keep doing this for as long as it takes.
Another big mistake blushers make, is:
They deploy safety or avoidance tactics, and although, there maybe times at the beginning of your recovery, where you are still learning and practising, where you might feel like avoiding a situation.
The important thing for you to understand is, avoidance, leaving or using safety tactics, is the one thing that will prevent you from overcoming your excessive blushing and anxiety.
Because, when you avoid, play it safe or leave a situation, that makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable.
You will be justifying, to your brain, that the anxiety and fear is necessary, otherwise, why else would you want to avoid or leave a situation.
Our mind quickly learns to fear more, the things we don't want to happen or the things that we want to avoid or leave.
The more safety tactics you do, to try and avoid going red or to try and avoid, feeling discomfort, the more your mind will categories you're blushing and those social situations, where before you would have gone red, as being threatening and dangerous.
By playing it safe, your causing your mind to come up with things, plans and tactics, that will keep you safe.
Another thing to be aware of, is.
We tend to attract and create more of the things and feelings that we fear or dislike the most.
There are many ways and techniques that we cover on this page and website that can help you to reduce your levels of anxiety, calm your mind and help you to feel more relaxed.
But, at some point you're going to have to be prepared to accept a bit of discomfort, because if you wait for the perfect moment, before you face your fears, that moment may never arrive.
if you can learn to relax and be OK, with the fact, that you're feeling a bit of discomfort and you switch to the attitude, that there is nothing bad happening and "I am perfectly safe in this present moment.
Try not to become too sensitive to a bit of heat in your face, have the attitude, that it is just a bit of heat in my face and they are just feelings and sensations in my body.
Another tip when your about to go red, is to try and make yourself go as red as you possible can.
Your mind will start to switch off your fight or flight response and association of danger.
Create a positive psychology and physiology, the mind body feedback loop
A positive physiology and psychology is also required if you want to begin to reduce your anxiety and overcome your blushing.
Blushing and anxiety happens much more and it is more intense at times when you're feeling stressed or your muscles are tense.
Your thoughts, negative blushing memories, feelings and emotions are all interlinked and they all affect each other.
What this means is. If any of these are out of sync then they will have a knock on effect on each other.
Your thoughts affect your body and feelings and your body and feelings affect your mindset.
This means. When you're feeling tense or you're experiencing symptoms of stress.
Because of the mind body connection and the connection with danger and your fight, flight, freeze response.
Then your emotional brain will interpret this as something bad is about to happen, otherwise, why else would your body be primed up for a fight or to runway.
A red face is also linked to a tense, shortened or out of aligned posture, tense muscles are part of your fight or flight response mechanism and your brain will use your muscles and the symptoms of stress as part of the fear danger, feedback loop.
The more tense your body is, the more tense thoughts and imagings, you will have.
Further Help You Control Your Blushing, Feelings And Emotions
The secret is to keep learning and to keep on making continuous and progressive progress and improvements.
Even if you can manage to make a 1% improvement and progress each day, then in a few months from now, you will have made giant strides to overcoming your blushing and your social anxiety.
If you keep going backwards by 1% each day, in a few months time, you will be in a much worse situation than you are now.
If you often lack self confidence or you feel insecure then the video below can help you to feel better and help you to feel more confident.
Below are eight tips practical tips and lifestyle changes that can help you to reduce your social anxiety and help you to overcome your excessive blushing.
1) Low confidence emotions
The other emotion that trigger all that redness in your face and body are the low confidence and sad emotions.
Blushing is more likely to happen if your feeling low, unhappy or underconfident.
Sometime we can feel low and insecure if we have been ill or we are mentally and physically burnt out or exhausted.
Keep yourself hydrated and if you feel low or you lack energy. Make sure you take it easy and get plenty of rest and relaxation.
Therefore it is essential for you to work on increasing your confidence and being as happy as you possibly can.
Things that can affect your confidence and happiness are. You're posture. Avoid leaning forwards, leaning backwards, slouching or trying to stand or sit, too tall, stiff and rigid.
People who are low on confidence, are often told to stand tall, however if done incorrectly, this can lead to muscle stiffness which can leave you feeling uncomfortable.
Muscle stiffness is also linked to, your fight or flight reflex mode, causing you to react with fear.
Also, the more tense you are, the more blood you will force into your face.
A better way of putting it would be to sit, stand and move at your naturally height and full expansion, without stiffening or without trying to physcially hold yourself in place.
One of the reason why people suffer low confidence is because they don't like themselves enough or they think that they're not good enough or worthy enough or they they won't accept themselves including their perceived flaws and weaknesses.
Each day as you wake up and go to bed. Stand in front of the mirror, gaze into your eyes, and say to your reflection several times.
- I love myself
- I like myself
- I am good enough in every way
And do this every single day.
Learn to like and approve of yourself, faults included. Manage your self talk, because the only person that can diminish you is yourself.
Believe in yourself and totally accept yourself, and no longer see yourself as inferior to others.
Your diet is also important as is staying well hydrated as they both can affect your mood and your anxiety levels.
If you are sensitive to certain foods, then this can affect how you feel, it is also important that you eat a healthy balanced and varied diet.
Having high nutritional foods, so you get the required amount of your daily vitamins and minerals is essential. Or take a vitamin and mineral supplement.
Getting enough quality sleep is also important and try to avoid burnout or exhaustion. Focus on doing the things you enjoy and make it your dominant intention to feel good.
Thinking about blushing, will never result in a solution, all it does is activate more negative energy.
Pick thoughts that make you feel good or think about general or neutral thoughts and things.
Get yourself a hobby, paint, read, go for long walks or do anything that does not make you feel bad.
It is very hard to manage your blushing and anxiety if you're sitting or standing in tense postures.
The video below is an excellent demonstration of how to sit and stand with the least amount of tension.
When you sit down, it is important to sit comfortable, so you're sitting on your sit bones, but you should not try to sit up straight or tense.
When you sit down, it is essential that you don't slump or tense your body when you get in and out of your chair or whilst you're sitting in your seat.
Because when you sit with a collapsed spine with your head protruding forwards or you're in a shrinking posture.
Then you're sending a signal to your brain that you're being threatened and you will be putting yourself in survival mode.
A shortened posture is linked to insecurity, low confidence and submissiveness and it can significantly increase the chances of your face turning red should any attention be put on you.
A tense and stiff posture is linked to, you're about to be threatened.
In evolutionary terms.
The red face sort of acts as a surrender signal to the dominant and confident individuals and it is relaying that they aren't posing a threat.
The person in a shrunken posture is accepting a subordinate and submissive position in the group and when you're in a submissive posture, a blush is almost inevitable.
Tensing your muscles, lifting up your chin and chest and trying to sit and stand too tall is just as bad as shrinking in stature.
Also when we sit and stand in tense and out of balanced postures or we shrink in stature and allow our chest and head to collapse.
The slightest amount of tension can interfere with your breathing.
Then this can cause low confidence emotions or the release of adrenaline which causes more anxiety and is responsible for the opening of your blood vessels in your face.
One of the main reasons for blushing is anxiety and low confidence emotions, which are all linked to your body.
Poor quality sleep or a lack of sleep can wreak havoc with your feelings and emotions.
The reason why you go bright red has a lot to do with how you're feeling both physically and emotionally.
A positive psychology has been linked with good health and well-being.
Therefore anything that can help to make you feel more relaxed and confident is going to help you.
The video below, will show you how to sit and stand, with the least amount of tension. Once you have found your natural posture and point of balance.
Relax and do not try and physically hold yourself up.
2) Reduce your stress and release any tension
Blushing is much more likely to happen when you're feeling stressed or tense.
When you're feeling stressed and tense. Your mind interprets this as, something bad is about to happen which will increase your anxiety levels.
Fear and anxiety are a physical state. Therefore it is essential for you to relax and keep active.
Exercising and keeping active is a great way to relieve the physical symptoms of stress, tension and anxiety, it can also help to boost your mood as well.
Although it is important to relax, because although exercise and keeping active is important. The best way to reduce your stress, is not to get stressed in the first place.
Try and pinpoint the root causes of your stress and begin to change the way you react. Avoid rushing and if you notice yourself beginning to feel stressed.
Pause for a few minutes, and take some deep breaths and try and bring yourself back to the present moment.
Also, when you feel stressed or you feel the urge to rush. Deliberately, stop and slow yourself down.
Relaxation is the antidote to stress. Find ways to relax, and spend twenty or so minutes each day, deeply relaxing.
Try and take your focus out of your head and put it onto external things.
Things like mindfulness, meditation, listening to relaxing music or self hypnosis are great stress busters.
Avoid any stimulants or try to minimize things that causes stimulation. Cut back or eliminate on caffeine, avoid too much alcohol or high in sugar foods.
Have a unwinding routine before you go to bed, Switch off the TV or and electrical devices, and listen to some relaxing music or read a book, before you go to bed.
If you go to bed relaxed, You will get a relaxing and restorative good night's sleep, and you will wake up feel relaxed and refreshed.
It's all about implementing positive daily habits and sticking to them.
Some quick ways to reduce your stress
Stress and anxiety are a physical symptom. Therefore it is important to keep active and to get moving.
Relaxing and deliberately slowing yourself down combined with any form of physical activity are efficient strategies for breaking the stress response cycle and switching your nervous system back over to a state of calm
- Run, dance, walk, workout, be active or exercise to relieve the physical symptoms of your stress
- Pinpoint the causes of your stress and work on resolving them or your problems
- Make it your goal to spend a few minutes a day, deeply relaxing. Things like self hypnosis, breathing exercise and meditation are great ways to calm your body and nervous system
- Yoga and Tai Chi are other good ways to slow down and reduce your stress
- Getting good quality and restorative sleep
- Getting out and engaging in nature
- Journaling your positive progress and writing down and expressing your negative experiences or situations that have made you feel anxious or embarrassed can help to process the emotions
3) Managing those anxious thoughts
If you suffer with blushing and social anxiety. Then no doubt, you will probably be dogged by negative and anxious thoughts throughout you day that will annoy you and cause you endless stress and anxiety.
You have been probably, wondering how can I stop these anxious thoughts?
The answer is, don't try and stop a negative thought. Because, the more you try and stop them or suppress them the more you will think about them.
You cannot stop a thought once it has been activated, so your next best option is, how to stop the emotional arousal and momentum from gather pace.
Because once you have allowed a negative or stressful thought to gather momentum, it is to late and your day is ruined.
The trick is. Do not try not to worry or attempt to stop or blockout a negative or anxious thoughts. Instead, changed the way you react to them.
If you' notice a anxious or worry thought. Do the exact opposite to what you would normally do.
Do not judge or react badly. Just acknowledge that it is just a thought, then allow and encourage your mind to think the thoughts.
Just observe your mind, and let your mind think the fearful thoughts, and what you will find is.
After a brief bit of mild discomfort and emotional arousal. Your mind will calm down all by itself, if you leave it alone.
If you're having those what if thoughts. Answer them and turn the negative energy into positive energy.
Let your mind know.
"Whatever happens, I'll be OK" or "If that happens. I'll be OK.
Practice creating a strong sense of knowing that you'll be perfectly fine and everything will workout.
If you're feeling worried or anxious about what someone might say. Ease your anxious mind, by letting you know.
"You're OK with that"
Or say to yourself. What if everything goes great, what if I stay cool, calm and confident.
Always let you know that, you can handle it and you will be OK.
Or you can reply to those what if thoughts with, so what.
You can even ask yourself.
"Why would I want to feel anxious"
"Why would I want to blush and what is the logical belief, behind the fear"
The video below will teach you a simple trick, that can help you to quickly defuse your anxious thoughts and feelings.
If all the stress and worry is disrupting your sleeping or making it hard fo you to fall asleep.
Create a relaxing and unwinding bedtime routine. Switch off all your phones, computers and TV, unless you are listening or watching something serene and relaxing.
Have a warm bath or put on some nice relaxing and soothing music.
if you cannot get to sleep, do not try and resist sleep, meditate or just relax around your thoughts and allow yourself to drift off to sleep naturally, the more you think about not sleeping the more you will clock watch.become agitated and the more you will, struggle to fall to sleep.
There are plenty of relaxing videos on Youtube or use a hypnosis recording to help you fall asleep.
When you go to bed, Write all your worries down on a piece of paper. Then don't think about trying to get to sleep.
Just relax. If your mind starts to focus on worry or stressful thoughts. Don't attempt to try and stop or suppress them.
Just, leave your mind alone, and it will soon still itself. If it keeps on returning to the negative thoughts, repeat.
The secret is not to try and suppress, numb, fight or blockout your thoughts and feelings.
The key is to start to step back from them so you become the conscious observer as well as teaching yourself to change the way you react to them.
Try and adopt, a non reactionary policy.
5) Self hypnosis and visualization
6) Develop a couldn't care less attitude
Although we should always be nice and respectful to others and treat them well.
To help you overcome your fears and feelings of embarrassment sometimes a couldn't care less attitude is a good approach.
When you care about what others think or might say or you care about going red, you will hand over all your power to others and blushing.
Try and shift in your attitude.
Like not caring what others think or what they might say to you or not caring if you blush and not caring about others noticing it or saying something about it.
We all make mistakes and we all feel embarrassed from time to time, but is it worth you constantly worrying about it or beating yourself up afterwards.
Learn to let things go and move on and give up worrying and caring about what others might think or say about you.
7) Thought Field Therapy
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