How To Stop Blushing And Feel More Socially Relaxed And Confident
A practical step by step guide to overcoming your excessive and intense blushing
Do you find that you blush easily, frequently and intensively for little or no reason and does the mere thought of going red or being put in an uncomfortable social situation fill you full of dread and panic and prevent you from relaxing and interacting socially?
Is your head always full or blushing related anxious thoughts, scenarios and imaginings which you feel like you just cannot control?
Its very annoying, confusing and soul destroying isn't and it makes you feel like you just want to sit in a dark corner, avoid all social interaction or hide yourself away from the rest of the world, doesn't it?
If this sounds familiar to you, then do not worry or despair anymore, because you can teach yourself how to calm your anxious mind and virtually end all you excessive and uncontrollable blushing.
The first thing that you need to know is, you can never stop your excessive blushing by trying to stop blushing, by keep on playing it safe or by avoiding the situations where you anticipate it might happen.
As all of these will feed and fuel your excessive blushing and fear cycle, that will result in more anxiety, stress, worry and fear, which will mean more blushing.
There are two main reasons that are the root cause of your excessive blushing:
- Your automatic anxious thoughts and the emotions associated with fear
- Your negative thoughts and the emotions that are associated with low confidence/unhappiness
The reason why you have an excessive blushing problem is because you have managed to attach your fight, flight, freeze-reflex response to the heat in your face, specific people, your social blushing triggers and negative emotions.
You can also attach your fight, flight, freeze response to other negative emotions such as:
If you are stuck in a state of fear and dreaded nervous anticipation or you are feeling a bit rundown, unhappy and feeling low in confidence.
Whilst you're in any of these negative or fearful states, if somebody then tries to embarrass, humiliate or shame you or you put in a social situation that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Then this will intensify all those strong negative emotions which will trigger all the chemical and physical changes in your body that cause all the intense redness and heat in your face.
The worst thing that you could possible do is to tell yourself things like: I must never stop blushing again, because if you go down that route, there is no way out and you will be heading for a disaster.
No one can have the guarantee that they will never go red again, it can happen to anybody, but you certainly do not have to live with all that intense and excessive blushing and once you know what to do you want have to anymore.
The only way you can have the certain of never blushing again, is to isolate and cut yourself off from the rest of the world, and that is no way to live your life.
But here's the good news! Just because you cannot stop blushing by wanting or trying to stop blushing, this certainly does not mean that you cannot cure and end your excessive blushing and anxiety.
The reason why I am telling you to give up the fight and cease trying to stop or resist your blushing is for two very important reasons.
First of all, it will set you free you from that continuous vicious anxiety, stress, fear, worry- cycle and pattern that is responsible for all your intense, excessive and frequent blushing.
Because the less you fear blushing, the less you care about going red and the less you worry about blushing, the less and less you will blush.
Accepting that it can happen and being OK and happy with that as well as giving up all the fight and resistance will give you some much needed and welcome relief from all the stress, worry and anxiety and I think you need a rest-bite and break at the moment.
This will also free you up to work and focus on doing all the right things that are going to help end your excessive blushing, ease your feelings of discomfort and build your self-confidence.
Your mind and body work in funny ways and the more you tell yourself things like:
- I hate blushing
- I want to stop blushing
- I hate all the attention
- I don't want to blush
- I don't want to feel anxious
The more your mind will fear your blushing and your social trigger points. This is not good, because fear is one of the biggest reasons for all that intense heat and redness in your face.
The same applies if you keep playing it safe or you keep avoiding or leaving a situation that makes you feel embarrassed or makes you blush.
Now you you know that you cannot force yourself or make yourself stop blushing or stop feeling anxious.
So the next question you need to ask yourself is:
What can you do and how can you end all your anxiety, daily emotionally suffering and excessive blushing?
Because you can certainly learn how to end your anxiety and emotionally daily suffering and you can teach yourself to blush less and less until it no longer becomes a problem and it not longer bothers you.
Until you reach a point where hardly ever blush or if it does happen, you will know what to do so it will be very mild and short in duration so nobody will even notice.
The more you try and stop yourself from blushing or the more you avoid or use safety tactics, the more intense you will make the connections and associations with fear and danger
So the next question you need to ask yourself is, how do you end your excessive blushing?
Change your perceptions and change your feelings and responses
The secret to overcoming your intense and excessive blushing is to work on changing those inward emotional responses, negative mental programs and all those negative and automatic thoughts that trigger all the heat and redness in your face and body
Your brain is a massive association and pattern matching machine that can easily associate negative and fearful feelings and responses to just about anybody and anything, including the heat in your face and the social situations and peoplethat trigger it.
What you now have to do is learn how to unlearn and replace all those fearful and stressful patterns, associations and responses that are causing your excessive blushing as well as working on feeling good, calm and at ease.
Every-time you blush intensively, every-time you have a fearful or anxious thought and imagining and every-time you react with fear and panic, offers you a chance to react differently and do things differently.
The secret is to change your feelings and response, so you start the process of changing all those fearful reactions, with calm and positive feelings and emotional response.
Our Best Stop Blushing Product Recommendations
If you have had enough of all your emotional suffering, stress, fear and inner conflict and you want to end your excessive blushing so you can reclaim back your life and inner peace. Then perhaps its time you gave yourself a break and you worked on doing all the right things that are going to end your daily emotional suffering by treating the root cause of your blushing problem.
If you really want to end your excessive blushing you also have to work on overcoming your social anxiety because they are both linked and they are both triggering and perpetuating each other.
We have complied together some of the best and most effective programs available created by someof the leading experts in this field to help anybody end their excessive blushing and crippling social anxiety.
Instead of allowing all that fear, anxiety, dead, worry and nervous anticipation to engulf and overwhelm you
Replace them with positive words or thoughts that will evoke a calm response, like:
- "I am looking forwards to"
- "I am happy to, blush now!"
- "I love it when I bush"
- "Its OK for me to blush"
- "It is OK for me to feel uncomfortable"
- "I am happy to be made the center of attention
- "Even when I am the center of attention, I now feel calm and at ease"
- "That seems like fun"
- "I will enjoy"
- "I now love being the center of attention"
- "I feel safe and secure in this present moment, right now!"
From today onward's, never use the word anxiety again: Replace anxiety with the word excitement and the reason for this is.
The sensations are identical, but your brain associates anxiety with something bad and something that is to be feared and should be avoided and it classes excitement as something good and something to look forwards too.
Instead of hating blushing, tell yourself that you love to blush or your love to be the center of attention and do this ever time you catch yourself worrying or imagining yourself going red.
Learn to associate blushing and social situations, with being fun and enjoyable as this will leave you feeling more relaxed and confident.
If you find yourself feel anxious and you're at the point of blushing, instead of freezing and panicking and telling yourself.
"I don't want to blush, I must not blush"
Relax your shoulders, relax your stomach, breathe deeply and, repeatedly and silently tell yourself.
"I want to blush"
What you must not do is try to resist or try not to blush. When you feel you might blush, offer it zero resistance, just relax, ease your shoulders, put on a big smile and instruct your mind to let it happen.
The same applies when you feel uncomfortable, do not try and control those uncomfortable or fearful feelings or thoughts, just let them happen from a new non reactionary manner and attitude.
Again, relax, don't fight it, let it happen, and get out of your head and focus on what you're doing or saying, carry on as normal, and let it happen and let it go, without offering it any resistance, at all.
It is also vitally important, if you do blush, not to create a fearful and bad memory.
If it happens, shrug it off, let it go, tell yourself it is OK and then work on that situation, never dwell on it, beat yourself up or hold onto it.
Ways to break the blushing and anxiety link and cycle
There are many things that you can do, that will help you reduce your levels of discomfort and prevent yourself from going bright red.
Blushing is linked to fear and social anxiety, and if you have a blushing and social anxiety problem, it can leave you feeling drained, defeated and confused.
Although you may feel like there is something wrong with you, you might be surprised to know that there are thousands of other people, who are struggling with this problem.
You might think that your different, but the truth is, you're no different to anybody else, because we are all, exactly the same.
You just think differently, feel different and you have a different set of beliefs, idea's, plus you have trained yourself to respond differently, which can be changed, because everything is within your control.
When you're socializing, all that anxiety, worry and nervous anticipation, can make you feel very tense, stressed and uncomfortable.
Even the mere thought of going red, can send a shockwave of fear, throughout your body, and the only thing that you want to do is to leave or avoid the situation that is causing all that dread and fear.
You probably just feel like you want to be alone or stay away from most, if not all social interaction.
If you want to begin to end your excessive blushing and your daily emotional suffering, there are a few things that you want to know and understand.
Everytime, feel anxious, provides you with an opportunity to relax and for everytime you start to go red, there is a better way to reacting and going about things.
The first mistake, nearly all blushers make, is:
They try to control and forcefully fight and stop their blushing and anxiety.
This just creates more stress, worry, fear and anxiety, which inevitably, leads to more intense facial redness attacks.
If you feel anxious, do not try and control it or fight it, just relax and allow it to happen, because when you give up the fight and you accept a bit of discomfort and suffering and you get out of the way and you allow it to happen, it will pass bye and fade away, more quickly.
Because when you accept your feelings, and you allow your mind to experience all thoughts and you allow your body to experience all feelings, without you reacting, you will be able to manage and change your state.
Just let your mind experience those anxious thoughts, let those feelings travel up through your body and away, and keep doing this for as long as it takes.
Another big mistake blushers make, is:
They deploy safety or avoidance tactics, and although, there maybe times at the beginning of your recovery, where you are still learning and practising, where you might feel like avoiding a situation.
The important thing for you to understand is, avoidance, leaving or using safety tactics, is the one thing that will prevent you from overcoming your excessive blushing and anxiety.
Because, when you avoid, play it safe or leave a situation, that makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable.
You will be justifying, to your brain, that the anxiety and fear is necessary, otherwise, why else would you want to avoid or leave a situation.
Our mind quickly learns to fear more, the things we don't want to happen or the things that we want to avoid or leave.
The more safety tactics you do, to try and avoid going red or to try and avoid, feeling discomfort, the more your mind will categories you're blushing and those social situations, where before you would have gone red, as being threatening and dangerous.
By playing it safe, your causing your mind to come up with things, plans and tactics, that will keep you safe.
Another thing to be aware of, is.
We tend to attract and create more of the things and feelings that we fear or dislike the most.
There are many ways and techniques that we cover on this page and website that can help you to reduce your levels of anxiety, calm your mind and help you to feel more relaxed.
But, at some point you're going to have to be prepared to accept a bit of discomfort, because if you wait for the perfect moment, before you face your fears, that moment may never arrive.
if you can learn to relax and be OK, with the fact, that you're feeling a bit of discomfort and you switch to the attitude, that there is nothing bad happening and "I am perfectly safe in this present moment.
Try not to become too sensitive to a bit of heat in your face, have the attitude, that it is just a bit of heat in my face and they are just feelings and sensations in my body.
Another tip when your about to go red, is to try and make yourself go as red as you possible can.
Your mind will start to switch off your fight or flight response and association of danger.
Create a positive psychology and physiology, the mind body feedback loop
A positive physiology and psychology is also required if you want to begin to reduce your anxiety and overcome your blushing.
Blushing and anxiety happens much more and it is more intense at times when you're feeling stressed or your muscles are tense.
Your thoughts, negative blushing memories, feelings and emotions are all interlinked and they all affect each other.
What this means is. If any of these are out of sync then they will have a knock on effect on each other.
Your thoughts affect your body and feelings and your body and feelings affect your mindset.
This means. When you're feeling tense or you're experiencing symptoms of stress.
Because of the mind body connection and the connection with danger and your fight, flight, freeze response.
Then your emotional brain will interpret this as something bad is about to happen, otherwise, why else would your body be primed up for a fight or to runway.
A red face is also linked to a tense, shortened or out of aligned posture, tense muscles are part of your fight or flight response mechanism and your brain will use your muscles and the symptoms of stress as part of the fear danger, feedback loop.
The more tense your body is, the more tense thoughts and imagings, you will have.
Further Help You Control Your Blushing, Feelings And Emotions
The secret is to keep learning and to keep on making continuous and progressive progress and improvements.
Even if you can manage to make a 1% improvement and progress each day, then in a few months from now, you will have made giant strides to overcoming your blushing and your social anxiety.
If you keep going backwards by 1% each day, in a few months time, you will be in a much worse situation than you are now.
If you often lack self confidence or you feel insecure then the video below can help you to feel better and help you to feel more confident.
Below are eight tips practical tips and lifestyle changes that can help you to reduce your social anxiety and help you to overcome your excessive blushing.
1) Low confidence emotions
The other emotion that trigger all that redness in your face and body are the low confidence and sad emotions.
Blushing is more likely to happen if your feeling low, unhappy or underconfident.
Sometime we can feel low and insecure if we have been ill or we are mentally and physically burnt out or exhausted.
Keep yourself hydrated and if you feel low or you lack energy. Make sure you take it easy and get plenty of rest and relaxation.
Therefore it is essential for you to work on increasing your confidence and being as happy as you possibly can.
Things that can affect your confidence and happiness are. You're posture. Avoid leaning forwards, leaning backwards, slouching or trying to stand or sit, too tall, stiff and rigid.
People who are low on confidence, are often told to stand tall, however if done incorrectly, this can lead to muscle stiffness which can leave you feeling uncomfortable.
Muscle stiffness is also linked to, your fight or flight reflex mode, causing you to react with fear.
Also, the more tense you are, the more blood you will force into your face.
A better way of putting it would be to sit, stand and move at your naturally height and full expansion, without stiffening or without trying to physcially hold yourself in place.
One of the reason why people suffer low confidence is because they don't like themselves enough or they think that they're not good enough or worthy enough or they they won't accept themselves including their perceived flaws and weaknesses.
Each day as you wake up and go to bed. Stand in front of the mirror, gaze into your eyes, and say to your reflection several times.
- I love myself
- I like myself
- I am good enough in every way
And do this every single day.
Learn to like and approve of yourself, faults included. Manage your self talk, because the only person that can diminish you is yourself.
Believe in yourself and totally accept yourself, and no longer see yourself as inferior to others.
Your diet is also important as is staying well hydrated as they both can affect your mood and your anxiety levels.
If you are sensitive to certain foods, then this can affect how you feel, it is also important that you eat a healthy balanced and varied diet.
Having high nutritional foods, so you get the required amount of your daily vitamins and minerals is essential. Or take a vitamin and mineral supplement.
Getting enough quality sleep is also important and try to avoid burnout or exhaustion. Focus on doing the things you enjoy and make it your dominant intention to feel good.
Thinking about blushing, will never result in a solution, all it does is activate more negative energy.
Pick thoughts that make you feel good or think about general or neutral thoughts and things.
Get yourself a hobby, paint, read, go for long walks or do anything that does not make you feel bad.
It is very hard to manage your blushing and anxiety if you're sitting or standing in tense postures.
The video below is an excellent demonstration of how to sit and stand with the least amount of tension.
When you sit down, it is important to sit comfortable, so you're sitting on your sit bones, but you should not try to sit up straight or tense.
When you sit down, it is essential that you don't slump or tense your body when you get in and out of your chair or whilst you're sitting in your seat.
Because when you sit with a collapsed spine with your head protruding forwards or you're in a shrinking posture.
Then you're sending a signal to your brain that you're being threatened and you will be putting yourself in survival mode.
A shortened posture is linked to insecurity, low confidence and submissiveness and it can significantly increase the chances of your face turning red should any attention be put on you.
A tense and stiff posture is linked to, you're about to be threatened.
In evolutionary terms.
The red face sort of acts as a surrender signal to the dominant and confident individuals and it is relaying that they aren't posing a threat.
The person in a shrunken posture is accepting a subordinate and submissive position in the group and when you're in a submissive posture, a blush is almost inevitable.
Tensing your muscles, lifting up your chin and chest and trying to sit and stand too tall is just as bad as shrinking in stature.
Also when we sit and stand in tense and out of balanced postures or we shrink in stature and allow our chest and head to collapse.
The slightest amount of tension can interfere with your breathing.
Then this can cause low confidence emotions or the release of adrenaline which causes more anxiety and is responsible for the opening of your blood vessels in your face.
One of the main reasons for blushing is anxiety and low confidence emotions, which are all linked to your body.
Poor quality sleep or a lack of sleep can wreak havoc with your feelings and emotions.
The reason why you go bright red has a lot to do with how you're feeling both physically and emotionally.
A positive psychology has been linked with good health and well-being.
Therefore anything that can help to make you feel more relaxed and confident is going to help you.
The video below, will show you how to sit and stand, with the least amount of tension. Once you have found your natural posture and point of balance.
Relax and do not try and physically hold yourself up.
2) Reduce your stress and release any tension
Blushing is much more likely to happen when you're feeling stressed or tense.
When you're feeling stressed and tense. Your mind interprets this as, something bad is about to happen which will increase your anxiety levels.
Fear and anxiety are a physical state. Therefore it is essential for you to relax and keep active.
Exercising and keeping active is a great way to relieve the physical symptoms of stress, tension and anxiety, it can also help to boost your mood as well.
Although it is important to relax, because although exercise and keeping active is important. The best way to reduce your stress, is not to get stressed in the first place.
Try and pinpoint the root causes of your stress and begin to change the way you react. Avoid rushing and if you notice yourself beginning to feel stressed.
Pause for a few minutes, and take some deep breaths and try and bring yourself back to the present moment.
Also, when you feel stressed or you feel the urge to rush. Deliberately, stop and slow yourself down.
Relaxation is the antidote to stress. Find ways to relax, and spend twenty or so minutes each day, deeply relaxing.
Try and take your focus out of your head and put it onto external things.
Things like mindfulness, meditation, listening to relaxing music or self hypnosis are great stress busters.
Avoid any stimulants or try to minimize things that causes stimulation. Cut back or eliminate on caffeine, avoid too much alcohol or high in sugar foods.
Have a unwinding routine before you go to bed, Switch off the TV or and electrical devices, and listen to some relaxing music or read a book, before you go to bed.
If you go to bed relaxed, You will get a relaxing and restorative good night's sleep, and you will wake up feel relaxed and refreshed.
It's all about implementing positive daily habits and sticking to them.
Some quick ways to reduce your stress
Stress and anxiety are a physical symptom. Therefore it is important to keep active and to get moving.
Relaxing and deliberately slowing yourself down combined with any form of physical activity are efficient strategies for breaking the stress response cycle and switching your nervous system back over to a state of calm
- Run, dance, walk, workout, be active or exercise to relieve the physical symptoms of your stress
- Pinpoint the causes of your stress and work on resolving them or your problems
- Make it your goal to spend a few minutes a day, deeply relaxing. Things like self hypnosis, breathing exercise and meditation are great ways to calm your body and nervous system
- Yoga and Tai Chi are other good ways to slow down and reduce your stress
- Getting good quality and restorative sleep
- Getting out and engaging in nature
- Journaling your positive progress and writing down and expressing your negative experiences or situations that have made you feel anxious or embarrassed can help to process the emotions
3) Managing those anxious thoughts
If you suffer with blushing and social anxiety. Then no doubt, you will probably be dogged by negative and anxious thoughts throughout you day that will annoy you and cause you endless stress and anxiety.
You have been probably, wondering how can I stop these anxious thoughts?
The answer is, don't try and stop a negative thought. Because, the more you try and stop them or suppress them the more you will think about them.
You cannot stop a thought once it has been activated, so your next best option is, how to stop the emotional arousal and momentum from gather pace.
Because once you have allowed a negative or stressful thought to gather momentum, it is to late and your day is ruined.
The trick is. Do not try not to worry or attempt to stop or blockout a negative or anxious thoughts. Instead, changed the way you react to them.
If you' notice a anxious or worry thought. Do the exact opposite to what you would normally do.
Do not judge or react badly. Just acknowledge that it is just a thought, then allow and encourage your mind to think the thoughts.
Just observe your mind, and let your mind think the fearful thoughts, and what you will find is.
After a brief bit of mild discomfort and emotional arousal. Your mind will calm down all by itself, if you leave it alone.
If you're having those what if thoughts. Answer them and turn the negative energy into positive energy.
Let your mind know.
"Whatever happens, I'll be OK" or "If that happens. I'll be OK.
Practice creating a strong sense of knowing that you'll be perfectly fine and everything will workout.
If you're feeling worried or anxious about what someone might say. Ease your anxious mind, by letting you know.
"You're OK with that"
Or say to yourself. What if everything goes great, what if I stay cool, calm and confident.
Always let you know that, you can handle it and you will be OK.
Or you can reply to those what if thoughts with, so what.
You can even ask yourself.
"Why would I want to feel anxious"
"Why would I want to blush and what is the logical belief, behind the fear"
The video below will teach you a simple trick, that can help you to quickly defuse your anxious thoughts and feelings.
If all the stress and worry is disrupting your sleeping or making it hard fo you to fall asleep.
Create a relaxing and unwinding bedtime routine. Switch off all your phones, computers and TV, unless you are listening or watching something serene and relaxing.
Have a warm bath or put on some nice relaxing and soothing music.
if you cannot get to sleep, do not try and resist sleep, meditate or just relax around your thoughts and allow yourself to drift off to sleep naturally, the more you think about not sleeping the more you will clock watch.become agitated and the more you will, struggle to fall to sleep.
There are plenty of relaxing videos on Youtube or use a hypnosis recording to help you fall asleep.
When you go to bed, Write all your worries down on a piece of paper. Then don't think about trying to get to sleep.
Just relax. If your mind starts to focus on worry or stressful thoughts. Don't attempt to try and stop or suppress them.
Just, leave your mind alone, and it will soon still itself. If it keeps on returning to the negative thoughts, repeat.
The secret is not to try and suppress, numb, fight or blockout your thoughts and feelings.
The key is to start to step back from them so you become the conscious observer as well as teaching yourself to change the way you react to them.
Try and adopt, a non reactionary policy.
5) Self hypnosis and visualization
6) Develop a couldn't care less attitude
Although we should always be nice and respectful to others and treat them well.
To help you overcome your fears and feelings of embarrassment sometimes a couldn't care less attitude is a good approach.
When you care about what others think or might say or you care about going red, you will hand over all your power to others and blushing.
Try and shift in your attitude.
Like not caring what others think or what they might say to you or not caring if you blush and not caring about others noticing it or saying something about it.
We all make mistakes and we all feel embarrassed from time to time, but is it worth you constantly worrying about it or beating yourself up afterwards.
Learn to let things go and move on and give up worrying and caring about what others might think or say about you.
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