Men And Depression

There is nothing manly about trying to be manly. Although men like to hide their feelings and problems.

Men are no different to woman and there is nothing wrong with accepting that you're struggling and you need help or you need to resolve your problems rather than it is to carry on suffering in silence.

Although they try to hide it, bottle things up and sort things out by themselves:

  • Men feel pain
  • Men have mental health issues
  • Men have feelings and emotions
  • Men feel low and depressed
  • Men can struggle to cope and handle life's challenges and problems
  • Men experience fear and anxiety
  • Men have negative and sometimes suicidal thoughts
Because of the male ego and expectations that are put upon men, sometimes it can be hard to be a man. 

Especially when you're trying to live up to the expectation of what you perceive a man should be or you're trying to play the role of what you think manliness is.

It seems like over half of the male population are struggling with emotional stress, anxiety and depression.

If you are like most men. Then the self image that you are portraying of yourself on the outside, is not who you really are on the inside.

The reality is, many men are suffering in silence and mental health issues and depression amongst men is rising, almost to the point of crisis.

Many men, come across as outgoing and confident on the outside, often acting as if everything is great and all is well.

Yet on the inside, it is a much different story, where many men are an inner mess and their inner world, at times can be a place of living hell. Where nothing seems to make any sense to them.

After all. Men are meant to come across as being strong, confident, and as if they haven't got a care in the world, aren't they?

Very often. The ones that seem outgoing on the outside are also suffering on the inside.

They have an ego to live up to. The trouble is with trying to please your ego is, you can become a slave to it and your ego can influence you and control many of your behaviors and actions.

Life can become hard and exhausting when you are trying to pretend to be something, that your not. 

Many men use their ego, to hide their inner insecurities and they will fake, what they are not.

Beneath the ego, however. Lies the real authentic happy and peaceful you. 

Are you allowing your ego to cover the real authentic you?

  • It is OK to not feel OK
  • It is OK to feel uncomfortable
  • It is OK to experience negative thoughts and feelings
  • It is OK to cry
But is it not OK to stay depressed, unhappy and fearful.

One of the best ways to come through a bad phase of your life is to set yourself a goal so you can give your life more meaning and purpose.

Believe in yourself

When you feel depressed or negative it is very easy to fall into the doom and gloom mindset. Many men, especially some of the younger ones don't see much hope for themselves and their future. 

One of the biggest causes of stagnation, feelings of hopelessness, self limitations and not making the most of your limitless potential is your beliefs and the ideas, that you have bought into.

If you want to change for the better or if you want to be successful, develop your skill levels, achieve your ambitions and goals and live your best life possible. 

Then you need to be motivated so you take the actions that are required and you need to be prepared to do whatever it takes to overcome your problems and challenges, achieve your goals and to be the best version of you. 

What drives your actions and behaviors are your thoughts and feelings. Of course you need to be motivated as well, so you do the action steps and work that are necessary to get you to where you want to be in your life.

If you allow fear of failure or you allow your feelings to derail your or you allow your thoughts and feelings to self sabotage your efforts then you won't do whatever it takes to get what you want.

The only problem with relying solely on motivation. Your motivation levels can go up and down.

Therefore, very often motivation is not enough. 

Especially when you are trying to remain motivated during those challenging times when things aren't going as well as you would like or you're not getting the results or things that you want.

There is one thing that is way more powerful than willpower and motivation and that is your beliefs.

Because if you do not believe in yourself or you do not believe that you can have, do or become what it is you are wanting. 

Then the chances are you are not going to do the action to get the results, things or lifestyle that you want.

Your motivation will drop if your beliefs and the stories that you tell yourself change.

If you want to achieve your goals, be successful, develop your skills and be the creator of your happy and successful life story.

You need the right beliefs that are going to support you and help you get to where you want to go.

If your beliefs are not helping and supporting you then you need to change them to ones that do. Believe you can and one day you will.

Whatever it is that you want. Research about others who have already achieved what it is you want to be, do or become and use them are your inspiration and mentors.

Because if others have done it, you can and even if nobody has done what you dream of doing, you still can.

Again, the one thing that motivates us to take action or even not take the action that we know is necessary, is our thoughts and feelings.

What determines our feelings is, our beliefs. 

Our beliefs are formed by

  1. Our previous experiences 
  2. Our programming and conditioning
  3. Our inner dialogue and self talk
Your beliefs are not true or false, they are just beliefs. Start to challenge and change your limiting beliefs to more positive and helpful. ones.

Use your creative imagination to help you create and attract the things that you want. Your mind is a very powerful tool, if you use it right, but it is your own worst enemy when it is fed with the wrong information.

Tell your mind what you want and it will do everything in its power to grant your wishes or help you to find and achieve what you're looking for and what you want.

Replace any unhelpful beliefs with beliefs that are going to support you

Your beliefs are very powerful and at the deepest fundamental level they affect how you think, feel and behave. They also shape who you are, what you do or don't do, your future and what you become. 

With that in mind, if you want to be the best you and live your best life. It is pretty important to form positive and supporting beliefs about you and your life.

A good place to start is. Replace all the I cant's, I am not capable enough or I am not good enough with.

I can, I am good enough, I can learn and I am more than capable of.

If you want to become it. Start believing that you already are it or you already have it. Because the more you believe you are it the quicker you will become it.

Lets say you won't to be a great writer. Start to convince yourself and tell yourself you are a great writer.

If you want to become something you really have to believe it from within. Because when you try to be something that your not, you will soon be exposed.

Sure, you can try an fake it to your make it. But really success comes from having a solid foundation and belief system from within.

It can take a certain amount of conscious effort to change your limiting beliefs. The real test starts when you hit a difficult period or challenging time.

This is what you need to be fully aware of. Because in those difficult times when things are going wrong and there will be times when everything and everyone will seem to be working against you.

It is so easy to allow your old limiting and self sabotaging beliefs to surface and start changing the stories in your mind. And before long, if you're not careful. 

You will slip back into your old negative ways of thinking and even worse, you will give up. The thing to be aware of, nobody becomes successful by going backwards or resorting to their old limiting beliefs.

If you want to be successful and if your want to live your best life possible you need to think like the successful, even when everything seems to be going wrong for you.

If you go backwards you will soon end back at the place and life that you wanted to escape from. 

During those sad and low times. Keep your faith and keep on believing. Expect good things to happen and expect the best.

Your whole day is shaped by your first hour on awakening which can influence your thought processes, your mood and how you react to the challenges of the day ahead.

If you start your day off in the wrong frame of mind. Then that is the tone you will set for the rest of your day. Have you ever notices that when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and you start the day off in a negative mood.

Everything that can go wrong does go wrong and what you will also find is. People and things will tend to irritate and annoy you more.

Therefore it is essential that you start the day off in the right frame of mind. As, soon as you wake up. Find five things to be grateful for. 

And do this even if you feel in down or in a bad habit. Then go and stand in front of a mirror and say to yourself a few times.

" I love you"

Then say some positive affirmations or self statements about yourself.

Do this every single day. 

Get your thinking right. Focus on what you want or only think about thoughts and things that don't make you feel bad.

Another critical thing to get right is your inner self talk. Avoid being critical about yourself. Remember, what you put in comes back out. Only use positive and encouraging self talk.

To further boost your energy levels and mood. Make it a habit to relax and unwind before you go to bed. Turn off your mobile or any other electrical devices and spend half an hour relaxing or unwinding.

Avoid to many stimulates, especially leading up to your bedtime. Read or listen to some relaxing music or do both.

Successful people, read and learn all the time. They are always learning, stretching and expanding themselves.

If you hit the pillow feeling calm and at peace with yourself and your world. You will have a better and more relaxing, restorative night's sleep. And you will wake up feeling refreshed and motivated.

If you find your mind is racing. Learn to detach yourself from your mind. Just focus on your breathing and begin to release any tension and just leave your mind alone to think those negative thoughts.

Because as long as you do not engage with your mind and you just allow it to think the thoughts. It will soon calm down all by itself.

What fuels stress and negative thoughts is how much attention you give them how you react to them and whether or not you become emotional involved with them.

Life becomes a lot easier to live. When you are coming from a calm and balanced state from within.

Try to get in the habit of being nice to yourself. Praise yourself up and be proud of you and every little good thing or accomplishment you make or do.

Because. If you do not like and accept yourself and you do not believe in yourself. Then life cannot reward you with all the good things and the great experiences and accomplishments that you could have.

Constructive and creative thinking

"We become what we think about"

Earl Nightingale

The thing that makes you different from everybody else is your mind and your perceptions. 

Deep with inside your mind are all your memories, your idea's, your opinions, your desires and goals, your perceptions and your beliefs.

Your brain also controls the way you respond, the way you think and the way you behave. Your thinking can also affect the way you feel, your intelligence, what you become and how successful your are.

If you wish to live your best life and you wish to be successful then your brain needs to be wired to be successful and to live your best life experience possible.

Your brain is a very powerful tool when used correctly. It can help you to create and perform many wonderful tasks.

You can think yourself happy and successful. But, when it is used in self defeating and self sabotaging ways. Then it can become your worst enemy.

If you are not living your best life or you are not getting the results or success that you want. Then this could mean that you're not thinking right or you're not instructing your mind to bring you what you want and desire.

If you are focused on worry or anxious thoughts. Then you will create more problems, anxious situations and responses.

It is also a well known fact. That we tend to attract more of the things and situations into our reality that we fear the most.

Everybody has their own worries and problems that they are trying to deal with.

Many problems come from the brain and many of the solutions to problems also come from the brain. 

What determines the scale of the problem, depends on the way you perceive a problem and how you react to it and how much you allow the problem to affect and influence you.

The best way to solve a problem is by approaching the root cause of your problem at its most fundamental level.

With many personal problems, especially emotional ones. The root cause is you and how you perceive, feel and react to your problem. 

Therefore, if you are the cause of your problem or what you are doing or how you think about your problem. Then you are also the solution.

Sometimes you have to accept yourself, accept what is or accept what has happened and be OK with that. Or accept the worst case scenario and again be OK with it or rehearse what you're worrying about going right or well for you. 

Expressing your emotions

You might be a man, but you still have a range of feelings and emotions. Just like, woman, you feel emotional pain and hurt at times.

Men are notorious for trying to hide or express their feelings and emotions. Men, tend to try and hide, bury or suppress their inner feelings and emotions.

Again, this is all linked to the image of how a man is supposed to be.

The problem is. You cannot outrun, numb the pain or blockout your feelings and emotions. There is no point in trying to look all macho and strong on the outside, if you're in emotional turmoil on the inside.

When you're feeling negative on the inside, it is not a very nice place to be at, and it can have a negative impact on how you think about yourself, your life and many other things.

It is far better to learn how to feel calm, confident, happy and balanced on the inside. 

Because when you are at peace with yourself and your world on the inside. This will reflect outwards in many positive and beneficial ways on the outside.

Many men are dependant on alcohol. To manage their feelings and emotions, to make them feel happy and to give them more confidence. 

You should always try and express your emotions, the worst thing you can do is to leave them to bottle them up or to not try and resolve any problems that you have.

To more you try to resist your thoughts, feelings and emotions. The louder and stronger they will get. 

Anytime you are experiencing fearful or negative emotions. Do not attempt to resist or react to them. Just feel them and let them flow up through your body and away.

If you have a problem. Immediately, start looking for and working on a solution. Often, a shift in your thinking, attitude and perceptions, can help to melt away a problem.

Accepting, what is, can also help, cease all the emotional arousal. Once, you have accepted and surrendered to what is.

Begin to focus on a solution or head in a new, exciting and positive direction.

Acceptance is one of the best emotional release outlets. Once you accept things, you can then move on and create better times and better situations.

Accepting, when things are not working out or going well, can help to ease emotional suffering. 

But, don't forget, that acceptance is a two way thing, and you can accept, that things will workout fine, everything will be OK and things can and will get better.

If things aren't going well for you, you're struggling or you are feeling down and depressed. 

Do not try and suppress the way you feel and carry on as if everything is OK.

If you can find someone to talk to, speak to them and let them know how you are feeling.

Always acknowledge how you are feeling. 

Allow yourself to feel sad, frustrated or disappointed for a while. Feel the emotions.

Just don't stay down for to long.

If you are feeling sad. Find, somewhere quiet, where you are by yourself. And, let it all out. Have a good cry to process and release the emotion. If, you need a bit of help, listen to a sad song.

Writing down how you feel on a piece of paper can also help to express and dilute your emotions.

Work on building your self confidence.

Coming through the bad times

Sometimes it seems that you just have to go through the bad stuff and difficult times to learn some important lesson and to motivate yourself to get to the good.

Life can be harsh and hard at times. Everybody has their ups and downs and issues that are trying to resolve and overcome.

One moment you are sailing along nicely, where everything seems to go great for you and where you haven't got a care in the world. 

The next minute, something goes wrong, your mood and mindset changes and all of a sudden, your whole life seems to be falling apart.

We all have times where we feel hopeless, helpless and stuck in a rut and a negative mindset. 

During those dark and difficult times. The secret is not to stay down to long and never give in or feel defeated. You might be struggling at the moment, but you're never beaten.

Try to pinpoint, why things aren't going great for you or why you feel so bad.

Then work on a solution or ways to overcome your problems, adversities and challenges.

Far to often, people give all their attention to their problems and then they live the emotions of their problems. 

Instead of searching for and focusing on a solution or a resolution to their problems. Your mind is you worst enemy, when you focus on the negative or you focus on what you don't want.

But it is a very powerful tool, capable of finding or guiding you to the answers to your problems or challenges when you get your mind focused on what can be and what you want.

Once we fall into the victim and life's not fair mindset. Or we dwell on the negative, we allow what has happened or what is, to influence how we feel.

Because, when all is not well in our world it is so easy to start to feel sorry for ourselves and blame the world and everyone for how we feel and our bad current situations.

Then this can make us feel unhappy and fill our body with negative emotions. 

Once you're in a negative mindset and you're experiencing negative emotions it can leave us feeling as, no matter how hard we try, we don't seem to be getting anywhere.

When nothing appears to be working out for you. Then this can be a time to reassess and re=evaluate your situation. 

Because it might be an indication that you need to try a different approach, different routines and lifestyle changes and different plan of action and set of strategies.

Because no matter how down and out you feel. There are always new possibilities and opportunities available to you.

So much of life is about, how you learn to deal with and come through the bad. 

If things aren't working out for you. Instead of waiting for life to happen. Take charge of your life, find positive reasons to live for and never waste a precious moment.

Keep yourself busy and keep your mind occupied with positive and constructive things to do. 

Keep learning and find a purpose and meaning for your life, and then strive to be the best you can.

Just be yourself

If you are feeling low and depressed. It might be time to re-evaluate things and focus all your energy on how better thing could be and how good your life could be.

Because, to every negative situation and perception, there is always a much better way of perceiving things.

At some point. You have to decide, that enough is enough.

Don't feel like you have to put on a facade, just to try and represent, something that you're not.

Instead of trying to be what you're not, by putting on an outward appearance, that does not reflect, you as a person on the inside, or trying to impress others.

Be your true authentic self, and work on being the best version of yourself.

It is much easier to just be yourself and make the very best of yourself and your real true, limitless potential, rather than having to put on an act each day, because you think that's how you should come across in front of others.

Change, your thinking and the world can look a much better place.

Take good care of yourself

If you are feeling low or depressed, then it is likely that you are suffering in mind and in your body.

Your mind and body are directly linked, and you can feel low and fatigue because your body is out of balance and sync or it is not receiving its basic needs and requirements.

Overdoing things physically can lead to exhaustion and low feeling moods. The same applies too much mental stimulation. worry, stress and anxiety.

Many men, scourge at the thought of relaxation. They don't see it as manly thing.

But, relaxation, is a necessity, and a bodily requirement. Depression, can be a sign, that you are physically or mentally exhausted, or both.

You can become exhausted and fatigued from overdoing things and not getting enough rest and relaxation.

Regular, deep relaxation. Can help reduce stress and anxiety. Relaxation and calm is the antidote to stress and anxiety.

If you are feeling stressed, overly worried or anxious. Then you should consider, allocating some time each day to relax deeply, so you can restore yourself back to your natural state of inner calm and balance.

Things like meditation and self hypnosis are a great way for you to ease your worried mind and restore a sense of inner calm and balance.

These deeply relaxing techniques can also help you overcome many other emotional issues and problems that you may be trying to deal with.

On going stress and anxiety can lead to fatigue and feelings of low moods and depression.

Your body is a great indicator of what is going on, on the inside and whether you're giving your body its physical needs and requirements that it needs to function at it most natural calm and peak efficiency.

Eating a good healthy and well balanced diet. Where you are getting your daily requirement of essential vitamins and minerals is also one of your body's physical requirements.

Inflammation of the gut, has also been linked to depression. 

Sometimes you can have a food intolerance or you could be eating certain foods that maybe causing you inflammation. (Ask a medical or dietician professional if you're not sure)

Try not to consume to many unhealthy foods that are high in sugar content or they contain in omega 6 fatty acids.

It is believed that many people are consuming to many of the omega 6 fatty acids and not enough of the health omega 3 fatty acids.

Exercise and keeping active can also help to boost your mood as can maintaining a well balanced, tension free and aligned posture.

Your posture can have a big impact on how you feel and it can affect your confidence levels. We are not talking about standing, stiff and rigid. 

Everything should be natural and comfortable, and you should stand, sit and move with ease, poise and good organization.

Your body language will reflect how you are thinking and feeling on the inside.

Video courtesy of Brett Hershey

Overcoming your insecurities

Like woman, a lot of men have inner insecurities, that they allow eat at them and cause them a great amount of worry and inner stress and conflict.

Accept your faults and perceived weaknesses. The golden rule is to accept the things that you cannot change or you don't have control over and work on the things that are in your control and the things that you can change.

Learn to like, accept and approve of yourself and learn to be comfortable in your own skin.

Many men are body conscious or they are not happy with certain parts of their body. 

The trouble is, if you start to dislike your body, your looks or who you are. Then this will lead to low self esteem issues, it will destroy your self confidence and it will make you feel unhappy and insecure.

Accepting yourself and you who you are will help you to end the inner conflict of feelings and emotions that you have going on within you.

If you then chose to do so. You can start an exercise regime or work on toning your body and getting yourself fit and healthy.

Do you like who you are?

A large percentage of the male population have underlying emotional issues that are going on within them.

Many men are suffering with anxiety, anger, stress or depression.

Often the root cause of their anxiety and depression is due to low self esteem, low confidence and feelings of unhappiness.

A lot of men rely on alcohol or even recreational drugs to help them to relax, change the way they feel or help them to feel more comfortable socially.

Emotional issues like anxiety and depression and drinking often coexist together.

Most men don't drink because they really like the taste of alcohol. 

They drink because it gives them more confidence and because they feel like they have to depend on it to either change the way they feel or to disguise their real self.

Many men rely on alcohol to reduce their stress levels, to numb out their emotional pain, to change the way they feel or to help them relax, especially socially.

But there are better and more natural and healthy ways to relax and reduce your stress and tension. 

When you are stressed and tensed. You use it as your energy. But, after a while your adrenaline glands get overworked and you can become tired, low and fatigued.

Alcohol can help you to be yourself, but the real honest truth is. It is not really your true self.

The reason why you become to depend on alcohol can be is because you have made some unhealthy association and negative beliefs, such as.

  • I feel better when I have had a drink 
  • I cannot enjoy myself socially, unless I have had a drink
  • It helps me feel more confident
  • I need it to speak to girls
This associations and negative beliefs can soon become a self fulfilling prophecy.

The problem starts when you learn to associate alcohol with the good times and you feel as it is necessary to enjoy yourself and let yourself go.

You may even feel like you are boring or to quiet without a drink or somehow how might see the world as a dull place.

But, the world is a beautiful place and there are so many good things you could be doing if you search for them.

Set yourself a goal or take up some new hobbies. Improve your skill levels, like taking some courses, where you can relax and socialize, without being in the drinking environment all the time.

Work on building your self confidence.

Perhaps you feel as if it gives you more courage or helps you to be yourself?

But have you ever asked yourself, why you need to drink to enjoy yourself?

When you think about it. Your not being yourself. 

You are relying on chemicals to help you be the person you would really like to be and you are not treating your emotional issues and you are not growing and bettering yourself on the inside.

A good place to start is to begin to change those limiting and negative beliefs.

Use the words I can more often.

Because, you can learn to enjoy yourself, without overdoing the drink and you can learn how to better your social skills and boost your self confidence.

Start of by telling yourself often

  1. I like myself, and mean it
  2. I am good enough
  3. I am equal enough
  4. I am worthy enough
If you depend on alcohol then you will always depend on it.

Alcohol never fixes the root causes of your emotional issues and when the alcohol wears off. You return back to that person or life, that you are trying to escape from.

When you are drinking. People aren't seeing that real you and the truth is, you are hiding the real you.

This can actually make your situation worse for you. Because when you have had a few drinks, people see this fun and outgoing side of you.

The trouble is. They expect you to be like that, all of the time. This, means, that you have to drink and again to live up to the expectations of others and so you can be that other you.

Another reason why some men drink is because they feel it is the only way they have got to change their mood or they don't like themselves or they don't like who they are.

One of the biggest problems that affects most people is. They don't like themselves or they don't like who they are.

When you don't like yourself then you will never be at peace with yourself or your world. 

Not liking yourself or thinking that you are not good enough or if you believe that there is something wrong with you.

Will only lead you to a life of emotional suffering and physical imbalance as well as low confidence and low self esteem issues.

Be proud of you who are and make it a habit to praise yourself for every achievement or good thing you do, no matter how big or small it is.

See the good in yourself and maintain a positive and optimistic mindset and attitude, even in times of adversity.

Life can be tough and challenging at times. 

We all have bad things happen to us and we all have to face difficult times of adversity. 

It has a lot to do with how quickly you can pick yourself up and bounce back and how you learn to react and overcome adversity.

It is OK to feel disappointed after setback, it is OK to feel down or bad, when things go wrong. But, don't stay down or disappointed.

Tell yourself, that you're going to feel disappointed for 24 hours. And then you are going to pick yourself up and you're going overcome your problems, setbacks, failures, challenges or disappointments.

See them as a challenge that you are going to overcome, which is going to make you a stronger and better person.

Be grateful, love yourself, learn to live in the now and create a great future for yourself, and you will soon start to free yourself from your emotional suffering.

Never give up, never accept you're beaten, 

Avoid overly complaining and be judgemental

Try not to judge others, because often when we judge or criticise others it can be a reflection of what we are not happy about ourselves.

We can be at our most judgemental at times when we are feeling negative, unhappy or frustrated with ourselves and our lives.

When we judge others or we find fault with them then this can be an inner indication that we either lacking what they have or we see ourselves on the same level as the ones we are being judgemental about.

Complains about every little thing can also put us in a negative state and it can be a sign that we are not happy within ourselves.

When you keep finding something wrong with everything and everybody then this can mean that all is not well in your inner world and it can keep you in a low or bad mood.

It is hard to be happy if you are constantly complaining about everything, finding fault with things or you are being to judgemental or critical, about others.

All these are negative states. It can also be a sign that you're feeling stressed or tense. Often the people we judge have the same faults and traits that we have.

If you begin to work on changing the way you feel, reducing your stress and releasing any tension that you have been holding onto.

You mood will improve, you will feel less irritated and you won't search for things to moan about, find fault with or  complain about.

When you're feeling tense, stressed and negative. You will have a bad day and negative attitude.

When you change the way you feel, your days will get better and attitude will shift to a more positive one.

There is always a better option, than to assume the worst case scenario

Humans have evolved to think the worse case scenario first. This was essential for early man, as the world was a much more dangerous and hostile place back then.

But, for today's modern man. For most of us, our environment is a much safer place and we need to break this self destructive and self sabotaging habit of always thinking and expecting the worst.

Because when you assume the worst and you then accept the worst. It is the quickest way to a life of unhappiness and limitation.

Ask yourself. How many of you worst case scenarios have come true and if they did, were they as bad as you thought or imagined.

When you think the worse, you feel bad and you will also set yourself up to fail.

It is no harder to think and to expect the best as it is to think the worse and it will make you feel a whole lot better and more self confident and self assured.

Your brain has no idea of a future outcome, so why trust it. You brain can project what might happen, but it is not capable of predicting an outcome with certainty.

It is fine, to evaluate a situation, but then. Either make a contingency plan or imagine the outcome that is most likely to happen or imagine how well you would like things to go.

Because for every worse case scenario, there is always a better alternative.

Overcoming relationship breakup or difficult times

Nearly all men have to go through relationship breakups and it is one of the hardest things for anybody to go through.

When, you lose somebody you love, then it can cause you a lot of hurt and pain.

The initial shock and loss, can be very hard to come to terms with and cope with. 

All of a sudden, you can be in what you think, is a loving relationship. Then, the next minute, your partner ushers those devastating words.

"We, need to have a talk"

One moment, your feel happy and content. The next, moment, it can feel like your whole life can be completely turned upside down.

During the initial first few months things can more difficult for you, than any other part of your life and the hurt that you can feel can be the worst pain that you can ever experience. 

The first thing to be aware of is. No matter how bad things get for you or how much pain you're feeling.

Things will get better.

There is no easy way to get over the loss of somebody you love.

What, you have to try and do is to make the process as painless as you possibly can.

Although, it will take time for the pain to subside.

We all have a choice to either remain in a state of misery or to try and accept what has happened and do your best to embrace all that is great in your life and try and appreciate all that is going well for you.

This is hard to to, during the most difficult of times, but if you can search for something positive or you can look for things to be grateful for, even in the worst times.

Then it can help to dilute your pain and suffering.

It might not, ease all your problems and pain and it certainly isn't the solution for everything.

But by showing a bit of gratitude and appreciation, even for the small things in life. Like the flowers, the air that you breathe, your life, your family and friends, you car or possessions, the food that you eat etc.

Then it can go along way to helping you through any challenging or difficult times.

Sometimes out of the bad, comes an opportunity for something good. 

You might not think that right now, but if you can use you bad times to motivate you to find something better, then you will become stronger for you negative experience and not weaker.

Although gratitude and appreciation, is a good habit to have and it is a thing that we should all do, daily for all the good and nice stuff we have.

If you can be grateful for some of the bad stuff that happens to you and you can be grateful for the challenges and adversity you sometimes have to face.

Because, you used the bad stuff to motivate you to seek betterment and you refused to allow it to keep you down, force you to give up or beat you.

Even when you were hurting and suffering. What you will find is. Nothing material, can ever again, rob you of your right to be happy.

Because you might be big and physical strong on the outside. 

But your true power and strength lies within you and your ability to stay happy, centered, calm and emotionally and physically balanced.

Getting through those first few weeks

During, the early stages of a relationship breakup or loss. You may feel like, life is not worth living or you may think that you will never meet anybody again.

The loss, hurt and pain can be immense, and it can take a long while to get over things.

But, life is precious, and it is always worth living, and in time, you will meet somebody else.

However, you first step is to allow yourself time, to come to terms with your situation. Try not to resort to alcohol or any other addictive substance, to try and numb your pain and hurt.

It is advisable, not to try and get over your ex. Accept that your relationship is over and allow yourself time to grieve and process the emotions.

After a relationship breakup. Your thoughts and emotions will be all over the place. During this stage do not make any rash decisions or generalizations.

Things will get better, with time. If you feel like it, hide away from the world for a short while and allow yourself to grieve over your loss or if you would prefer, surround yourself with your family and friends.

Some men, become very isolated after a relationship split or loss, and often they feel as if they have no one to turn to.

If you are really struggling and hurting. Speak to somebody or find someone you can trust, who you can confide your feelings to.

If you need it. Seek help. If you cannot find someone to talk to. Speak to your doctor or even consider, talking to the Samaritans or a counselor.

Relationships can be great. But, you should never allow anybody to determine your happiness or define how you feel.

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Written by Hypnosis Downloads co-founder Mark Tyrrell


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