Picture showing a sign with the word hope pointing one way and despair the other way

Removing Bad Memories And Ease The Pain Of Your Past

Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds But You Have The Power To Heal Yourself?

They say, "Time is a great healer"

But this is certainly not always the case with most traumatic or bad memories, in fact the longer you leave a bad or traumatic memory untreated.

The worst and more intense it can get, the more it can disrupt the quality of your life and the more damage it can do to your physical and mental health.

There are particular moments in our lives that can define us for the better or worse. An unresolved traumatic or bad memory falls into the category where everything changes for the worst.

Because an active - suppressed, blocked or buried, emotional bad memory can cause a series of unpleasant and damaging, negative and unhealthy reactions.

Which can lead to a life of negative habits, thought processes, feelings, addictions and behaviors which is no way to live your life.

Bad or traumatic memories can result in many years of stress, fear and unhappiness and these negative emotional states can cause a state of disharmony in the body.

When we suffer with prolonged periods of stress, fear and negativity it can weaken our immune systems and inhibit the efficient functioning of our body.

These negative emotional and physical states can be very unhealthy for our body and they can lead to many health related issues and behaviors.

Not to mention the damage and disruption it does to our mental health, our emotional well-being and the general quality of our life.

Negatively focusing on your painful or traumatic past can cause you immense pain in the now and make you fear and dread the future.

It is not so much your bad or traumatic experience which is now causing you all the pain anymore, because hopefully your bad experience is now over.

It is the the level of emotional intensity and associations that you have attached to your bad memory which is causing you all the hurt, sadness, pain and suffering.

You are only suffering because you are holding onto, suppressing or resisting your feelings and emotions.

The truth is, you can not outrun, hide or escape from your feelings, memories and emotions.

Why? Because they they don't exists externally anymore, they now only exist internally within you and this means they will follow you, everywhere you go.

The good news is! All your suffering will pass and dissolve once you learn how to let go of your painful past.

Once you learn how to do this and it takes time, learning and effort, but it is far better to focus on feeling calm and happy that it is making yourself feel bad.

Then nothing in your past will ever get in your way and deny you of your right to feel happy, calm and at peace.

Time does not always heal your bad memories but you can release and let go of your emotional and mental pain, stress and suffering with these Emotional Healing Products 

Time to let go of your suffering

If a past negative experience, is causing us so much pain, distress, hurt, stress or emotional suffering.

You have to ask yourself the question.

What have you to gain by holding onto our bad or traumatic memory?

To try and answer this. You first need to take a look at how your brain and body work in relationship to your negative, unpleasant or upsetting experiences.

The primary job of your brain is to move you away from pain and to try and move you towards comfort, ease and pleasure.

There are two main reasons why people hold onto their bad memories.

The first reasons is; people have linked strong negative feelings and emotions to their bad, traumatic or upsetting experiences.

An example of this could be.

If somebody has just broken up with their loved one. Then they can start to link feelings of hurt and sadness to the loss of their partner.   

In the case of relationship losses. All of a sudden a good experience can turn into a bad experience and anegative memory.

Every time, they then think about their partner from a negative perspective- they will activate the associated hurtful and painful feelings.

If you have had a negative or traumatic experience. Your mind will link your fight or flight response to your bad experience which will form a bad memory.

Your mind is an association mechanism and it is capable of attaching emotions, both good and bad to any situation, thing or experience.

The other reason why people get stuck in the pain of their past is because they are stuck in a mindset of uncertainty, not knowing and fear.

You can attach fear to a bad experience that you have and you can attach it to negative or scary information that you hear or see.

Your brain does not handle uncertainty and fear very well and when you get stuck in an open ending fear loop, then your mind and body will get stuck in survival mode and in this state your brain will scan for threats or focus on everything that can go wrong.

Why does your mind keep you in a state of fear and survival?

Let's go back to the pain and pleasure mechanism.

As it is your brain's job to try and move you away from pain and suffering, both physical and emotional.

If you have had a real life negative or traumatic experience of any kind or, even if you are worried about something bad or negative happening to you.

Because you can create a traumatic and fearful memory, through your imagination.

Your brain will do everything it can and it will use the emotion associated with fear. To try and make sure that you never have to experience the same hurt or pain again or to prevent the situation that you're worried about from happening.

Therefore, every time your brain remotely associates something with your bad or traumatic experiences, even long after your bad experience is over.

Your brain will activate your fight or flight process.

You also have to bare in mind. Your body and nervous system cannot tell the difference to what is real and what is imagined.

Anytime you hear or see anything external that is similar to the context of your bad experience or every time you focus on your bad memory.

Again, your brain will activate your fight or flight process.

Uncertainty is linked to survival and most people just want to feel certain that everything will be OK.

It is far better to accept and put up with uncertainty, with the belief of knowing that you'll be OK. Than it is to constantly hold yourself stuck in a state of fear.

When you attach negative strong feelings and emotions to a bad experience, it can be difficult to forget about it and let it go.

The more you then try to fight, suppress or blackout your negative and fearful thoughts, the more they will resurface and the more intense you will make the negative and fearful feelings.

Learning how to break the fear link and detach your strong and intense negative feelings and emotions away from your bad memory is the secret to emotional freedom.

To help motivate you to do the things that are required to heal your past and let go of your painful memories.

Ask yourself, what are the positive benefits of you releasing and letting go of your bad or traumatic memory.

How much longer are you prepared to allow your bad memories to deny you of your happiness and your peace of mind as well as your well-being and wellness?

Life is full of experiences, some are negative and cause us much pain. Some people experience horrific trauma, pain or abuse.

Unfortunately you cannot change your past but you can to learn to grow stronger and better from your negative and difficult experiences.

When something bad or negative has happened to most people, the majority of them find it easier to hang onto all their negativity thoughts and feelings.

Even though the most wisest thing to do would be to let it go and change your thoughts to much more pleasing and resistance free thoughts.

Using your bad memory to motivate you to achieve great things

On this page you will discover many techniques and things that will help you to heal, process and move through and away from your pain, stress and suffering.

I am fully aware that some people have been through some pretty bad and traumatic situations.

But you are strong enough and resourceful enough to overcome your bad or traumatic experience.

"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives, put us directly on the path  to the best things that will ever happen to us"

Once you have experienced a bad or traumatic event or situations you're then left with two choices.

  1. You can allow it to diminish you, disempower you, keep you a victim and destroy your health, wellbeing and life
  2. You can use it to make you stronger and you can use it to motivate you to achieve great things as well as helping other who are too suffering

Life can be very hard, cruel and unfair and nobody deserve to suffer endlessly, being a victim once is once too much.

But remaining a victim over and over again to something that happened to you long after your situation is over is not the ideal way to live your life.

You have the ability to change how you think and feel at will, you have an amazing mind and body that can give you everything that you want.

You possess the ability to achieve great things and you have an enormous amount of talent and potential and there are so many better things that you can do.

So why allow what has happened to you or any one to deny you of your right to feel happy, good and calm.

And why allow you past to dictate how you feel now and prevent you from living the wonderful life you could have.

Your mind loves the peace and safety of the here and now and it is not very good at future tensing or living in the pain of the past.

Start to focus on all the good things that are coming and keep practising on bringing yourself back to the peace and tranquility of the present moment.

Use positive and soothing self statements like:

  • "All is well and everything will be fine"
  • "I am safe and OK right now"
  • "I choose to let go of all my suffering now"
  • "I feel phonemically happy and at peace now"

If you feel ready to move on a let go of your bad memories you might be interested in these products that can help you heal and erase your bad memory

What is a bad memory and why you need to rewire your brain?

Most of our past experiences and programming becomes hard wired into mind and physical system.

Once this happens it will them become an emotional memory and once a negative, bad or traumatic memory has been formed.

This is what then can keep us stuck in repetitive patterns of specific thought processes, perceptions and physical actions, responses and behaviors.

Our neural pathways which trigger all our negative thoughts, feelings and behaviors, create established patterns and associations within the brain.

These neural negative memories, programs and associations will then fire off anytime you focus on your negative experience or anytime you come face to face with any of your external triggers.

Let's say for example:

If you witnesses or if you was involved in a horrific event and there were sirens, loud bangs or smoke and fire, taking place during your bad experience,

Your brain would store the data for future reference. Your brain would also attach these sounds to your fight or flight response mechanism.

These are known as neural associations and pattern recognition and they will become your emotional trigger memories.

Anytime you then heard any of these sirens, say you were walking down a street or even watching a film and you heard the sound of a siren or a sudden loud bang.

Then this can trigger an uncomfortable emotional and physical response.

If your neural connections, associations and patterns keep firing of feelings and responses that you do not like or negative feelings that make you feel uncomfortable, unhappy or stressed.

Then the good news is, those bad memories, feeling, patterns, responses and behaviors can be changed to create new and better feeling patterns, associations and feelings.

Bad memories make us feel bad and they can also block our progress and prevent us living the life or doing the things that we want.

Bad memories and negative neural patterns and responses can define us and dictate how we feel.

They can also affect the quality of our lives as well as having a negative impact o our health and emotional well being.

If we become stuck or we feel bad, stressed or anxious then it is because of what has happened to us in the past.

If you are constantly reliving or thinking about your bad memory or experience then they will become your most dominant thoughts patterns and feelings.

This will strengthening those negative neural pathways and associations making those intense and uncomfortable negative feelings stronger and more powerful.

This process does work both ways and if you start to think about more happier and better feeling thoughts and things.

Then you will create powerful good feelings and associations and eventually those good feelings thoughts will become your most dominant way of thinking and feeling.

Everything we give our focus of attention will activate corresponding feelings ad emotions which will strengthen the neural pathways and associations that we have created.

Even if you are trying to forget about or you are wanting to stop thinking about your bad experiences.

This still means that you are still thinking about it and it will again active and strengthen those bad feelings and associations.

As a result of this you will hold yourself stuck in a negative pattern and cycle that will trigger more negative thoughts, images, sounds and responses.

You are strengthen your negative neural pathways and associations through repetition, by constantly focusing on or trying to fight, resist, suppress and defeat your mind and feelings.

Here's the answer to your problem.

You can also use the same process and mechanism of repetition and doing to reduce the intensity of your bad feelings that are linked to your bad memory as well as learning how to change the way you feel, think and respond.

When we decide to do things differently we can begin to reduce our negative neural pathways, patterns and associations.

We can also promote new and better feeling pathways, associations and ways of feeling and responding.

Our bad memories and neural pathways are very similar to our habits which we hold onto until we decide to change them.

Some people have to endure and experience some pretty horrific and gruesome experiences and events that can cause them years of pain, stress and fear

Others may be abused or they might lose a loved one which can make them feel sad, hurt and upset and scared to form a new relationship.

You can even develop a bad memory from seemingly trivial things which might not make any real sense to you.

But no matter how bad you experience was, everybody has the opportunity to let go of your painful past and create new calmer or better feeling responses and associations.

Through our awareness and our intentions and actions we can lower our feelings of discomfort and promote better and more pleasing feelings and emotions.

Why you should never try to suppress, numb or resist your bad memory,

Nobody chooses to continually suffer and nobody wants to feel bad but most people find it really hard to process and let go of their bad memories.

Because of this people use all sorts of techniques and methods to try and numb out, suppress or relieve themselves of all the emotional pain and stress.

Some of these methods may be helpful, but most of the aren't, in fact most coping techniques can actually make your problem a whole lot worse whilst others are unhealthy and only offer temporary relief.

For some, their pain and suffering becomes so unbearable that they often resort to alcohol and addictive substances in their desperation to try and ease all their pain, hurt and suffering.

Some of the worst things that you can possible do are:

  • Trying to suppress your thoughts, bad memory and feelings
  • Trying to block or numb out your thoughts, bad memory and feelings
  • Trying to resist, defeat and fight your thoughts, bad memory and feelings
  • Trying to forget or not think about your bad memory

If you try to hide, bury, suppress, resist or defeat your bad memory and feelings, every effort to do so will leave you feeling defeated every single time.

From now on, let go of the resistance and learn to accept and embrace the images in your mind and the feelings and emotions that you're feeling.

The idea of this is to let your mind know that you can handle thinking about your bad memory and it is OK for your mind to think and experience all thoughts, images in your mind and feelings you feel.

Because the more you try to resist or suppress your bad memory or the more you attempt to stop your fear.

The stronger, more intense and more persistent those negative feelings will become.

The reality is, you cannot stop your negative thoughts, memories and feelings once they have been activated.

You simply cannot deactivate a thought, memory or feeling once it has been activated and the more you try to the stronger, louder and more intense they will become.

The sooner you can accept the contents in your mind and the feelings in your body, including your bad or traumatic memories and you allow them to continue without reacting in any negative way, the sooner they will dissolve and pass.

Rather than fight, suppress or resist your bad memories and feelings it is better to find new and better ways of reducing your daily emotional suffering, stress and pain.

Because when we suppress or we want to stop thinking about our negative experiences, this is what happens:

  1. You will attach more emotional significance to your bad memory so your mind will return to your bad memory even more
  2. Your brain will associate pain, danger and suffering to your bad memory so it will try and move you away from any external triggers or anything that remotely reminds you of your negative experience
  3. When you resist or try not to think about something or when you want to stop fearful feelings you will hold onto you suffering and keep this negative and vicious cycle ongoing

If your mind thinks that you cannot handle your bad memory, thoughts and feelings it will associate your thoughts, bad memory and feelings as the threat that needs defeating or avoiding.

This will send you into a battle with your bad memory, thoughts and feelings and it will be a never ending battle and vicious cycle that you cannot win or end.

But if you start to make you few changes and you begin to do things differently then your life will begin to change for the better.

To start off with, regardless of what has happened to you, cease the fight and surrender and totally accept what has happened to you.

If you let yourself know that you can handle your bad memory, your anxious thoughts and your fearful feelings.

To take things a step further.

Allow your mind to think about your bad memory and instead of trying to control your mind and feelings, let those feelings happen and let them continue.

There is no need to know why you feel like you do and there is no need to try and analyse or stop your mind thinking about your bad memory.

Because by doing this, those feelings will decrease and fade away all by themselves.

You cannot deactivate a bad memory, thought or negative feelings once they have been activated.

But you can practice and learning to step back from them and not to react to them.

Just feel them, let them happen, leave them be and let them go all by themselves.

The more you can begin to develop the faith and trust in yourself that.

"Whatever happens, you can handle it" 

The more your fear will lose its grip and hold on you. This includes your thoughts, feelings and bad memories.

The reason why you want to forget about your bad memory or suppress it is because you can't handle thinking about it or talking about and you can't handle the associated feelings.

Talking about or thinking about your bad memory is not what is causing you all the pain, fear and stress as long as you're happy to talk about it.

What is causing you all the emotional suffering and physical discomfort is the not wanting to think about it or talk about it.

When we try and suppress or stop our thoughts and feelings our mind will return to them more often and our body will react with even more fear, because of the amount of emotional significance and attachment you're giving them.

When you do the exact opposite, and you consciously let the thoughts and feelings happen and you even encourage your mind and feelings to carry on, your thoughts and feelings will begin to subside all by themselves. 

What can you do to remove your bad memory?

The opposite to fear, anger and anxiety is calm and balanced, the opposite to sadness is happiness, therefore what you should be working on is to learn how to change the way you feel.

The areas that you will benefit tremendously if you work on them, are: 

  • Detaching your fight or flight response, negative and stressful feelings away from your bad memory
  • Learning how to be mindful
  • Spending time relaxing, reducing your stress and releasing tension
  • Keeping active
  • Posture/physiology

Mindfulness is an important part of your recovery and healing (more about mindfulness, later on)

Knowing how to sense any feelings of stress, negativity, anxiety and pain developing, so you learn how to quickly change your state, will help you to quickly melt away any pain, stress or emotional suffering.

The common, but disastrous approach many people make is they do the exact opposite to what they should be doing, where they try and fight, deliberately forget about, suppress or blockout their thoughts, feelings and emotions.

All these kind of tactics, don't work, in fact they make your negative feelings and emotions, more intense and stronger.

Instead of trying to fight your anxiety and fear. It is much better, to detach and step back from your mind and body, and just allow your thoughts, feelings and emotions to happen.

Where people go wrong is. They try to control their fear and anxiety. However, any attempt to control your fear and anxiety or if you use safety or avoidance tactics, means that your anxiety is controlling you still.

Acknowledge and embrace the feelings, step back from them, feel them and let them happen, when you start to feel calmer, you can the redirect your thoughts or change your perceptions and beliefs.

Most people just want to feel good and at peace again, so they can move on. The trouble is, you cannot feel good, happy and calm, if you haven't healed your negative emotional wounds and trauma.

The secret is to bring down your feelings of discomfort or strip away your negative feelings and emotional and physical responses away from your bad memory, so you can become emotional free.

Because when you're in a calm and happy state of balance and flow, all your suffering and pain will melt away and pass.

Different negative experience trigger different emotional and physical symptoms

Depending on whether your bad or traumatic experience was a traumatic or upsetting experience such as.

  • Physical or verbal abuse
  • Witnessing or experiencing a horrific event
  • Loss or bereavement
  • Relationship breakup  
  • Shame, ridicule or embarrassment
  • Personal tragedy
  • Personal negative experience
  • You've hurt somebody else or done something bad to others

Although techniques like mindfulness, exercise and relaxation are going to benefit you tremendously, some people may need to do a bit of extra emotional healing and clearing work.

Healing your emotional trauma should involve your overall general well-being as well as learning how to change and manage your state.

It may require you using several different techniques as well as relaxing deeply each day, exercising and eating plenty of high nutritious foods.

Any form of relaxing such as meditation is going to benefit you tremendously as it will help you break your stress cycle and switch your body back to a blissful, calm and balanced state of inner peace and flow.

People focus on, their negative thoughts, imaginings and feelings that are a match to their current emotional and physical state, then they try to resist and suppress their thoughts, imaginings and their bad memories.

When really it is best, to allow your mind to experience every single thoughts, memory or imagining, otherwise, if you try to suppress all of your thoughts, memories and imaginings, you will create a fear of them, which will make them worst and much more intense.

Also, when you focus on you resist and fight with your negative past, all of the time, you will blockout and dismiss and alternative positive thoughts and perceptions that are not a match to their current emotional state.

The first emotions that you will experience and feel, straight after you have had a traumatic or negative or sad experience or bad news are fear, anxiety or sadness. 

When you do not possess the tools and techniques to treat, process and let go of your bad experience, that negative experience and learned, state of fear, stress or sadness can become a bad memory and a new, normal state of being. 

Very quickly, your bad experience and your negative emotional responses can become a stored subconscious program and automatic way of responding.

The reason why so many people struggle to treat and heal their emotional scars and wounds, is because they don't know how to change, detach and reduce the emotional intensity.

Many people try to think positive, and although positive thinking is great. It won't necessary change your learned subconscious habits, behaviors, programming and emotional responses.

The natural techniques mentioned below, can help you to change your negative emotional responses, habits and learned behaviors.

If you're really struggling, hurting and suffering, you may want to consider thinking about giving self hypnosis a go. 

If so, you might be interested in releasing your bad memories, self hypnosis recording or the Erase Bad Memories session designed specifically to heal bad memories by America's number one hypnotherapist.

If you're really struggling and having a bad time, because of your bad or traumatic experience then you might want to consider giving EFT a try.

Emotional Freedom Techniques have been proven to be very successful at helping to relieve anxiety, trauma, depression, anger, anxiety and fear, releasing people from the chains and imprisonment, that keep them mentally, physically and emotionally, bound to their painful past.

Take a look a the EFT Trauma and Abuse relief video below as it can really help you.

 

Practisting the relaxing art of mindfulness

Mindfulness is a good and natural way to help you reduce and change the emotional and physical reactions that are being triggered by your bad memory.

The best way to get the maximum benefits of mindfulness is to find somewhere quiet where you can shut yourself from the rest of the world and any outside distractions.

The get even better results. Have an exercise workout before you try using meditation mindfulness, to burn of any excese high levels of energy.

Quick mindfulness exercise for bad memories

Find somewhere where you can sit or lay down.

Don't rush into trying anything.

Just let your body relax and slowly release any tension.

Start to take some slow deeper breaths.

Breathe all the way in, then release the breath, don't forcefully, push all the way out. 

Then repeat for about five minutes.

If you have been feeling anxious, tense or stressed.

Then you may find it hard to initially relax and unwind.

If you're struggling.

Take it one step at a time.

Take a few deep breaths, then relax and slowly build up the amount of deep breaths you take, each time.

When you're feeling relaxed.

Deliberately focus on and recall your bad memory.

As you keep focus on your bad. Work on relaxing your body and taking some deep breaths. 

The key to this exercise is not to try and stop or suppress your thoughts or bad memory, the key is to learn how to detach yourself from your bad memory and learn your body how to react more calmly.

The idea is to bring down the emotional reactions and intensity.

It takes a bit of practice, but if you persevere you will get better.

Once you have mastered this mindfulness exercise.

You can use the same principal, should you start reliving your bad memory, as it will quickly calm your mind and body, so you can enjoy what you're doing.

You can either change, distort and play around with the context, sounds and colours of your bad memory, turn the sounds down and drain all the colour away from your bad memory.

Most people try and block out or resist any negative thoughts or any sounds and images of their bad memory because they don't want to experience those thoughts and memories.

But when you deeply relax and you step back from your bad memory and you deliberately allow your mind and body to feel and experience those thoughts and images, then your mind will start to change the way it responds to them.

Once you can do this in a quiet and relaxed place. Anytime, your mind returns to your bad memory, you can step back, observe and focus on staying calm, whilst you allow your mind to visit and experience your bad memory.

Self havening for anxiety, negative memories and trauma

Havening is a new rapid energy healing and psychological therapy that is able to heal emotional trauma, bad memories, fears, anxiety and stress.

This highly effective emotional healing and releasing method, involves a few simple steps that are easy to learn and easy to apply.

Once you have learned this easy to use techniques which you can do yourself, it will allow you to bring down and detach your levels of anxiety, fear and stress, in a matter of minutes, from severe to almost nothing.

Once you have successfully removed the emotional intensity from your bad memory, trauma or fear, you should not experience the same levels of stress, hurt and emotional suffering again.

If you're interested in giving self havening a try, watch the video below and give it a go.

 

Emotional trauma at its worst

According to John Leach who is a senior research fellow at the University of Portsmouth. There is now a genuine medical condition which occurs when some people just give up on life.

Leach said that the condition often occurs after a person has suffered severe emotional trauma. 

It appears that some people seem to reach a point where they feel that there is no escape from their mental and emotional torment, imprisonment, stress and pain.

Dr Leach believes that giving up on life after experiencing a major trauma can lead to disintegration of the person which can be fatal in some cases.

The research seems to point towards the theory that severe trauma can lead to a lack of motivation and a belief that the person no longer has any control of their situation and over their mind, feelings and emotions.

Which can lead them to a disinterest in life and a deep sense of hopelessness.

When we lose faith and hope in our ability to free ourselves from our emotional trauma and negative past.

It can lead to feelings of depression and a sense of feeling trapped, isolated, alone and stuck.

Motivation and faith that you can heal your past and you have the ability to take back control of your feelings and emotions are a key ingredient which is necessary to heal your emotional wounds and to regain your interest in life.

Once you start to believe that you can heal and let go of your emotional wounds and trauma.

Dr Leach said the most common interventions were physical activity or the renewed faith that the sufferer was able to see that their situation was partially within their control.

Both of these would activate the release of the feel good endorphin dopamine.

Relaxation, mindfulness and natural techniques that will bring down the emotional intensity and energy charge that is attached to your bad memory. Will also help to put you in control of your feelings and emotions.

Everything changes after a traumatic event or experience

When trauma strikes your life changes and your physiology, attitude and your psychological state changes.

This state of mind and body, then needs reversing and channing, before you can return back to a normal, peaceful and happy life.

Those who do not address and treat their 

  • Bad memories
  • Emotional trauma
  • Emotional suffering
  • PTSD

Remain stuck in a negative and dark place of emotional, physical and psychological imbalance, distress and disharmony.

In this state it is impossible to; 

  • Feel calm and balanced 
  • Experience joy and happiness
  • Enjoy the moment
  • Reach your highest performance levels
  • Be yourself

And it is not just the major traumatic experiences that can negatively impact us. 

Even the smallest negative experience can affect you and haunt you for years and years to come.

Everybody is resourceful enough to come through the most horrific and horrible life situations and it is amazing what strength we can summon up inside of us when we really need it.

"You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice"

-Bob Marley

Real strength and power is when you learn how to control your emotions and you reach a turning point in your life where you allow nothing or nobody to rob you of your inner peace and happiness.

And when you rise up and keep moving forwards in a positive direction, despite what has happened to you, nothing can stop you.

Because you were born free and you can return to that inner calm state of emotional, physical and psychological balance.

Focus you attention on doing something positive or doing the things that you enjoy

There are two parts to our mind, you have you conscious mind, which is the creative part of your mind and your subconscious mind which is all your programming, belief systems, habits and learned behaviors.

Within your subconscious mind you have all your emotional memories. Your conscious mind allows you to visit your past or take a look at your future.

The moment you start thinking about your negative past or you're worrying about what might happen in the future, means that your not grounded or paying attention to what's going on in your now.

What this means is, when you stop focusing on or you're not really consciously paying attention to what's going on in your present moment, your mind will flip over to autopilot.

Unless your then deliberately and consciously in full control of your thinking, and most people aren't most of the time, this is where the subconscious mind will kick in and take over.

When this happens, your subconscious mind will resort to its default settings and negative programming and we will start to focus on our often negative programming and negative experiences.

If you keep playing your negative programming and bad memories then you're going to suffer. This can severely restrict you and make you feel as if you're always going to be the victim of your past.

What can happen then is; people don't do the work that they need or they don't go on to live a great and fantastic life, because they accept or they think that, this is the way it is and there is nothing that they can do.

Yes, some people have to endure the most horrible things, but that doesn't mean that you have to be the victim twice.

Some people use their bad experience to motivate themselves to achieve great accomplishments.

Life is not against you and the world can give you what you want.

Once you learn to let go of your past and you put all your energy into doing what you want and feeling the best you possibly can.

All you have to do is take a look at your life and focus on doing the things that you like, enjoy and what you're good at or what you feel passionate about.

When you have a goal or ambition then it can give your life a new meaning and it can take your mind off what has happened and put it on what can and what will be.

The best way to change is to take a look at your life and examine what you're having a problem with, then work on fixing the root cause of your problem, then switch all your attention on to what you do want.

Once of the best ways to change is to change the feelings. Being grateful, being thankful showing appreciation and even forgiving are great ways to change the way you feel.

Most people think that fear helps to protect them and although it can in a real life threatening situation, most of the time fear does not protect you, in fact to much fear, worry and anxiety is bad for your health.

A philosopher once said: "It is the memories of the past and the fear of the future which make our present so difficult."

What protects you the most is the positive feelings and emotions and love is the highest vibration and the most powerfulest of all emotions.

This does not necessary mean that you need another person to love, because you can find anything to love.

For example; you can love, just about anything;

  • Your life
  • Your home
  • Your car
  • Yourself
  • Nature
  • The food you have
  • The air you breathe
  • Your hobbies

Having a goal, purpose or doing something that you love, is going to make you feel a whole lot better. Fall in love with yourself, your life or you goal, hobby or interests.

When your focusing on doing all the good things that you like, enjoy and love, then this will help you to stay focus in the peace and blissful feelings of living in the present moment and it will prevent your subconscious mind from focusing on your painful past.

Most people's stress and negativity comes from focusing on their pain past or worrying about what might happen in the future.

So many people live in a state of fear and negativity because they either live their life in a state of uncertainty or they are focusing on their painful past.

Instead of perceiving their future in a positive way. They project a negative image and scenario of their future or they live their lives trying to fight their painful past where they are constantly trying to work it all out, defeat it or wrestle it to the ground.

Reduce your tension and reduce your stress

As we have already mentioned. It is important to reduce and manage your stress.

Your biggest enemy that you will ever have to face is tension and stress in your mind and body.

Trauma and psychological disorders can changes your posture and physiology causing tension in the body and physical and chemical symptoms of stress.

Focusing on negative thoughts and negative experiences, can change your biology.

People often get stuck in these tense and stressful states which are also linked to their fight, flight, freeze response.

Your thoughts, feelings and behaviors are linked and they all affect each other.

Tension in the mind causes stress and tension in the body. 

And tension and stress in the body causes more tense and fear related thoughts in the mind which creates a self perpetuating feedback loop in the mind and body.

People who have been traumatised can also automatically go into a tense or shortened posture where their head protrudes forward and is pulled down at the back of the neck, anytime they relive their bad memory or they are reminded of it.

Their shoulders become hunched and stiff and their body collapses. This type of posture is associated to the fight or flight reflex response.

This fight or flight response and reflex posture can become habitual. 

If, for a moment, we view thought as a reflection of feeling, then we can see that the more emotional you become, the closer you get to the all-or-nothing emotional state of the fight-or-flight response.

If we live with heightened stress, we experience more anxiety and are fight or flight response becomes sensitive and  easily activated.

Therefore; our thinking tends to be more extremist and distorted. 

Some people even get stuck in it. In this shrinking posture, which is often known as the startled mode.

In this shortened posture. You can feel more threatened, anxious, sad, insecure and repressed.

Tensing and stiffening your body is also linked to your fight or flight response. 

If you; 

  • Lift up your shoulders
  • Tense and stiffen
  • Lift up your chin and head, too much
  • Stick out your chest
  • Force your shoulders back
  • Arch or stiffen your back
  • Lean back
  • Lean forwards
  • Collapse your body
  • Slouch

Then these insecure, tense and slouched postures, mimics the fight posture and response, which puts you in either a submissive and insecure body posture or a feel threatened body posture.

It is hard to think about tense or anxious thoughts if you smile and you relax your body and free and release your shoulders.

Our shoulder and neck muscles in particular are connected to our fight flight, reflex response mechanism and startled mode. 

When your body is naturally aligned and balanced. You will feel happier, more at ease, more comfortable, less irritated and less anxious.

Making it feel a lot easier for you cope with your challenges and making it easier for you to heal your emotional wounds.

Techniques to lower your stress
  1. Learn how to manage and discharge your anxious thoughts
  2. Physical activity is an effective way to lower your stress. Get moving, exercise, keep active, dance, walk, jog, workout or anything you choose
  3. Yoga, Tai chi, Alexander Technique
  4. Anything that is relaxing, mediation, hypnosis, listening to relaxing audio's, music or videos
  5. Good quality sleep
  6. Journalling a positive future or writing down your feelings on a piece of paper
  7. Massage (You can buy a home massage device)
  8. Getting in out in nature
  9. Painting, drawing, art, photography
How animals quickly get over a terrifying experience

If you observe animals in the wild.

Take a wild Deer for example. 

They will happily be garazing and eating the grass, just getting on with their daily business. 

When all of a sudden, they will come face to face with a life threatening situation. Where they're all of a sudden startled and chased by an angry and hungry lion.

The Deers fight or flight response will kick in and the deer will bolt away. If the Deer is lucky enough to survive the dangerous encounter.

The Deer will quickly settle down, they will process the emotion and they will return to a state of calm and they will soon, let go and forget about their terrifying ordeal and just carry on doing what they were doing and being in the present moment.

They don't dwell on the life threatening encounter, they don't try to fight their feelings. They don't focus on it, hold on to their suffering or try to deal with what happened, or attempt to force themself to forget about it.

They just return their attention back on to the peace of the present moment and they just focus on the task they're doing.

And you to can learn how to let go of your emotions and start to focus your attention on the good things and tasks that you should be focusing on.

Break free from the chains that are imprisoning you

"Have you heard the story of the circus elephant that was chained to a small post and was unable to escape and free himself from the small post and his imprisonment.

The huge elephant could easily snap the chain and escape to freedom. The trouble is, even though he could easily break free, and escape is captivity.

He did not know that and so he never even tried.

The reason why the adult elephant could not escape to freedom was because of the emotional and painful associations and bad memories that were ingrained in his mind.

You, see.

When the elephant was a baby.

The baby elephants trainer, used the same simple methods. Where a chain was tied to the baby elephants leg and then attached to a wooden post.

The chain a post, were strong enough to prevent the baby elephant from escaping. Even, if the baby elephant attempted to break free.

The chain, was strong enough to hold the baby elephant. If when the baby elephant pulled with all his might.

The chain would cut into the baby elephant's leg, and it would create a wound which would cause the baby elephant pain and discomfort.

In the end, the baby elephant soon learned to associate, trying to break free, with pain, after a bit of suffering, he would eventually, give up trying.

Even, when the baby elephant grew up, because of his bad and painful memory, which he associated with trying to escape.

"He would never again try to break free."

So he allowed the memory to rule him and keep him, imprisoned.

You are smarter and wiser than the elephant, and you have the opportunity to break free from the emotional pain of your bad memory.

And therefore, set yourself free from your internal imprisonment and find the emotional freedom, that has always, been available to you.

Shocking statistics reveal the alarming truth

Alarmingly, the statistics suggest that more and more people are struggling to cope with, the psychological, emotional and physical symptoms caused by their bad memories and trauma.

According to the Mental Health Foundation, every year, millions of workdays are lost to to mental health issues, which include, stress, anxiety and depression.

Bad memories and trauma are the root cause most mental issues. Including chronic stress, sadness, depression, anxiety, fear, phobias, unwanted thoughts and obsessive behaviors.

This clearly demonstrates that mental and emotional issues are the leading cause of sickness and absence from work. 

If that is not bad enough to live with. Mental health disorders, and bad memories are linked to mental health issues, are responsible for low moods, loss of interest or pleasure and feelings of guilt or low self-worth.

The number of war veterans who admit they are experiencing PTSD as been estimated to have risen by 70% in the last five years.

But you do not have to be a war veteran or a member of the emergency services, to experience trauma or PTSD. Anybody who has witnessed or experienced a terrifying event, can be affected.

There are thousands of people who are feeling the victims of both physical and psychological abuse or bad relationships or a loss of a loved one.

American Psychological Association, describes emotional trauma as

"The emotional response to an extremely negative event"

The negative event can be a major traumatic experience, but this is not always the case, and you can suffer with years of emotional trauma, from just about, virtually any negative experience.

The first reactions to a negative or traumatic event are usually, the release of adrenaline, a racing pulse, shallow or rapid breathing, confusion, freezing, numbness, disorientation, all of which are part of our fight or flight response.

This is a normal response to a negative situation, and normally, after a while, you would move on and you would return back to your natural state.

However, for many, the effects of the upsetting or negative event, can linger on, long after the event is over, and this is where the problems begin.

Evolution is to blame

Our brains have evolved to try and keep us safe and focus on the negative. This is a good thing in a way, but sometimes this process can go wrong or get out of control, and when it goes out of control it needs to be fixed.

The trouble is, our fight or flight response and survival mechanism is still very primitive, and it can get out of control.

In order to survive when our world was once a dangerous place to live in, our mind and body had to develop a system, where we could go from a state of calm to high energy, power and strength in a matter of seconds, to give us a better chance of surviving.

This is where our fight or flight mechanism was born, it's only flaw is, it does not respond to logic or reasoning, and it is a case of act first, because has far as your mind is concerned, it is better to be safe than sorry.

You cannot just tell your mind you don't want to react to your bad memory, telling your brain to fix itself is like yelling at your computer, when it has got a programming fault.

If you have had a bad or traumatic experience at some stage in your life, your conscious mind will immediately take all the information as input, which it will send to your subconscious mind for processing. 

Once you have been through the bad experience, all the information will stay locked up in your memory bank for later recall, should it be needed. 

Your mind will do everything it can to prevent you from having to endure the same bad experience again, the problem with our minds is.

Your subconscious cannot think logically, your brain just responds to data, physical stressful symptoms in your body and input from your senses. 

All the information that was recorded at the time of your bad experience, will then be stored in your emotional memory bank and used as data to gauge how you should react in the future.

The only thing your mind has got to protect you is strong negative emotions to alert you, which will activate adrenaline and the symptoms of stress so you can try and avoid or escape from the situation, should it happen again.

Even if you have to face that same or similar experience again, your subconscious mind will automatically return to the memory, and bring it back into your conscious awareness which will cause you to feel the same sensations as you did at the time of the bad experience. 

The reason why you cannot just think or talk your bad memory to go away is because there is an invisible barrier that lies between your conscious and subconscious mind.

 This acts a safety mechanism which evolved to help protect you and keep you safe, because if you had to face a real life threat.

Back then, there would be no time for thinking logically, and your mind would act and respond instantly to give you a better chance of surviving.

Therefore, unless you change your inner subconscious programming, your mind will carry on doing what it has been programmed to do, because it thinks it is necessary to help to protect you from having to go through the.

This barrier is a bit like having your own inner security guard whose job is to protect you and prevent anything from reaching your subconscious mind that goes against your previous programming, even though it is your wish to delete the bad memory. 

This is why you will struggle to change or get rid of your bad memory, because your inner security guard thinks you need your old programming to help you avoid having to go through the same bad experience again.

Again, this can be a good thing, because it can help to keep you safe should you about to encounter a real threat or danger.

  But it is no help when your fight or flight response is constantly going off when it is not needed or it is not appropriate, as in the case of your bad memory.

In order to end all the emotional pain and suffering, you have to bypass your inner security guard, so you can access your own subconscious mind.

Why you get stuck in a self perpetuating cycle of stress and anxiety

Everytime you're bad memory causes a stressful response it takes up to 36 hours for your body to get rid of the stress hormones, this is not good for your health or well-being.

If your bad memory is constantly being played out in your mind, your body won't even get a chance to return back to its natural resting state and your body will stay out of balance most of the time.

Bad memories can demoralize your whole quality of your life, they can cause you endless stress, frustration and anxiety, and even lead to depression or alcohol and substance abuse.

Trying to bury your emotional traumas and wounds with alcohol or substance abuse, or trying to occupy your mind with other distraction methods, is not the answer and it can make matters worse.

Alcohol and drugs may temporarily alleviate your emotional hurt and torment, but as soon as their effect wears off, the pain will resurface. 

Alcohol, smoking and drugs are all stimulants, and although they may initially relax you, when their effect wears off, you will feel more stressed and pumped up.

At the moment your bad memory has all the power over you, but it does not have to be that way once you strip away all the strong emotional attachment.

You should not be constantly punished and tormented by an unpleasant experience that happened in the past, which was not your fault.

It is a sad fact of life that very often the victim or the innocent one is left to suffer the most, usually in silence.

What you may not realize is that you have the power and control to erase your bad memory if you decide to do so.

When you get stuck in a cycle and pattern of stress and intrusive thoughts, the high levels of stress can put a strain on your adrenaline glands, and because you get stuck in a state of high levels of stress.

Nutrient deficiency, anxiety and stress

If you have been suffering with post traumatic stress, then it can deplete your body and brain of the natural nutrients that it requires to keep your brain and body in balance and working efficiently.  

A deficiency in the key important nutrients has been associated with depression, anxiety and mood swings.

Long periods of stress and anxiety can deplete your body of all its natural vitamins and nutrients that it requires to keep your mind and body in its peak and most optimum balance and performance efficiency.

A balanced diet of healthy foods rich in nutrients, vitamins and minerals can help to relax you, improve your mood and help you feel less anxious. 

It may pay you to consult your doctor or nutritionist to determine your nutritional needs and daily dosage requirements.

Magnesium is one of the most powerful nutrients that can help reduce stress and anxiety, this key mineral is well known for its natural power to calm you.

How to sit and stand with the least amount of tension



Other studies have shown that there is a link between moods and a deficiency in the B vitamin range.

Again if you're thinking about taking supplements, it may pay you to consult with your doctor or dietician about the correct daily dosage

Vitamin D has also been linked with being able to help reduce stress and anxiety.




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