How To Build Self Confidence And Self Belief

When people try to build their self confidence they often make a mistake. The reason for this is. Most people think the best way to build self confidence is by changing their thinking.

Now, it is important to say and think positive and encouraging self statements about yourself. It is also essential that you praise yourself up for all your achievements and accomplishments as this can all help build your self belief and self esteem.

Because you inner self talk should always be supportive, positive and encouraging.

But when you start to take a look at what self confidence is. Then you will begin to understand that self confidence is a feeling and a state of being.

We are at our most confident when we are in a calm and relaxed state of inner peace and balance where we are focusing outwardly, rather than focusing inwardly on ourselves and how we are feeling and coming across.

Often it is feelings of uncertainty that makes us feel under confident and anxious. A good strategy is to see uncertainty as a chance for you to grow and develop.

Always let your anxious and worried mind know, that.

"Whatever happens you'll be OK, you can handle it and everything will workout fine"

The opposite to self confidence is fear and tension. Fear and tension are linked to our fight, flight, freeze response.

When we are in a state of fear or our bodies are tense. Then we will struggle to be our natural confiendent best, the two just do not go together.

Our feelings and our physiology have a big impact on our levels of confidence. Our physiology and posture are also linked to our fight, flight, freeze response.

When we are feeling negative, insecure or unhappy. Then this can bring about low confidence emotions.

Other factors that affect our self confidence are our mental programming, negative memories and our learned behaviors.

Because confidence is a feeling.

If you are feeling under confident. Then it is hard to think your way out of it.

Through our previous negative, embarrassing, shameful or humiliating experiences. Our emotional brain learns to associate our fight, flight, freeze response to those situations.

This then become a learned behavior and automatic response. Should we then have to face that situation or a similar type of situation again.

Our brain will activate or fight, flight, freeze response in that situation which we call anxiety and fear. 

If you respond with fear and anxiety in a specific social situation. Then no amount of talking positive to yourself is really going to change the way you feel.

If you want to change the way you feel in situations where you feel uncomfortable and under confident then you need to unlearn and relearn the way you respond and feel.

It is a case of a process of changing each social situation, one at a time.

That's why hypnosis is unbeatable for quickly getting you feeling more confident.

Because self hypnosis work by changing the feelings.

Improve your self confidence in 15 minutes

I used to be frighteningly under confident in social situations. And although people who know me now would never believe I used to doubt myself so much I literally had to learn confidence until it became a natural part of me. 

I can tell you relaxed optimistic confidence is just, well so much more fun.

Here I'll tell you about the things that made the most difference to my confidence levels..

Some people have naturally high levels of confidence but everybody can learn to be more confident

Firstly, it's important to get a clear idea of what self confidence really means, otherwise you won't know when you've got it! So, self confidence means:

1) Being calm. For every situation in life you need to run on the appropriate level of emotion. Too much emotional 'leakage' into a experience can spoil the experience. 

You make great strides towards confidence when you begin to relax in a greater range of situations.

2) Being cool. The second part of self confidence is about being able to relax with uncertainty. To be 'cool' in a situation really means relaxing with not knowing how things will pan out. 

If you truly tolerate uncertainty, you can do pretty much anything.

3) Not being too concerned with what others think of you. You know when you imagine what some place is going to be like before you go there but when you get there it is totally different to your imagination? 

That's how reliable your imagination is! 

Stop trusting your imagination so much. I've long since stopped bothering to imagine what others think of me because so often I've turned out to be wrong.

4) Being specific - where do you want confidence? 'Confidence' is meaningless until you tie it to something specific. You are already confident that you can read these words or can switch a light on and off. 

So you don't need more confidence everywhere. 

To get what you want in life you have to establish exactly what you do want. Where do you want confidence in your life? 

Think about the specific situations now and write them down. You beginning to steer your brain towards confidence.

5) Understanding that what you expect is what you get. Your brain is an organ that needs clear goals to work towards. 

When a task has been set in your brain it will do everything it can do to bring about the completion of that task. If you've tried to recall someone's name but can't, hours later you'll often find their name pops into your head.

The 'trying to recall' experience set the task or blueprint for your brain's future subconscious behaviour which eventually produced the name for you - when you weren't thinking about it consciously. 

You can use this natural mechanism to start feeling more confident. But, to ensure you set the right task for your subconscious mind, the next point is vital.

6) Don't task your mind with negatives. Instead of: 'I don't want to screw up' (which sets the task of 'screwing up' for your brain), set the blueprint for what you do want! 

Your brain doesn't work towards what to do by being told what not to do. And nature has given you a wonderful natural tool to set the right task blueprints with.

7) Use nature's goal-setter: Now you understand how vital it is to set the right task for you brain, you need to know how to do this reliably. 

Good hypnosis will strongly 'program' the right blueprint in your mind through the use of your imagination. 

If you powerfully imagine feeling confident and relaxed while in a relaxed hypnotic state it will be hard for your unconscious mind to do anything else. The blueprint for relaxation has been set firmly into your subconscious mind.

3 simple strategies to get you feeling confident quickly:

1) Think specifically of the time/place/situation you want to feel confident in. Remember 'confidence' doesn't mean anything until you attach it to something specific.

2) Focus on words in your mind right now that describe how you do want to be in that time and place. Maybe words such as 'calm', 'relaxed' or 'focused'. Remember your brain works on clear positive instructions.

3) Close your eyes for as long as you like and think about how those words feel. Then, imagine the situation itself and rehearse it in your mind feeling confident and relaxed. This way you set the right blueprint or 'task' for your unconscious mind.

You can repeat this often to make it more effective and use it with as many areas of your life as you need to. If you listen to a hypnotic cd or download that can make the benefits even more powerful (see my profile below). 

So if you feel like you'd be blessed with less confidence than some other people you can start redressing the balance by using your mind in the right way right now.

It took me years to learn how to be more confident - now you can do it in a fraction of the time. Good luck!

Boost your confidence now at

Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis

The importance of body posture and self confidence

If you have any tension or stress in your mind and body it can negatively affect your self confidence, your mood and your ability to concentrate, externally focus and be yourself.

Stress and tension in the body is linked to the fight, flight, freeze response. 

This will cause the release of adrenaline and the stress hormone cortisol in your body, which will increase your heart rate, quicken you breathing and your muscles will become tense and primed for action.

Tension in the muscles, especially the hip flexor muscles and the neck and shoulder region is linked to the fear and startled mode.

It is very hard to be confident if your experiencing feelings of discomfort or your muscles are tight and tense.

We go into fear and anxiety mode when we allow the head to become unbalanced from the spin. Dropping your head too far forwards or pulling it back and down causes the neck to either tense or become contracted.

Either of these will cause the body too collapse and it will induce feelings of discomfort which is not very helpful if you want to feel more confident.

Some people habitually pull the back of their head downwards, they allow their head to protrude forwards and they hunch and stiffen their shoulders and body when they feel socially threatened or challenged.

This posture is linked to a submissive, feelings of insecurity and low confidence posture that we know as anxiety.

Others may lift their head and chin and chest up, arch their backs and force their shoulders back. This posture is also associated with being threatened.

This is the exact opposite state that is needed for self confidence and feeling safe and secure.

The only thing that you can do to calm yourself down is to surrender and accept to how you feel. Then embrace and feel the feelings so you can begin to activate your natural relaxation response.

You can do this by focusing on your breathing, smiling, and releasing any tension and sit and stand with poise, calmness and good alignment.

Tension and stress in the body indicates that you are not safe so your emotional brain will activate sensations of fear and anxiety.

The less discomfort you feel, the more self confident you will feel.

The key to feeling confident depends on how you're feeling. You can use your body to help increase your confidence.

This does not mean trying to stand or sit up too straight. That just increases tension in the muscles.

You want your body to be open, poised, balanced, relaxed and aligned.


Get FREE Uncommon Fear And Anxiety tips in your email


Finding Happiness 

Tap into your true spiritual happiness

Manage Your Anger

Learn how to deal with the root cause  of your anger

Reduce Your Stress

Start to  lower your stress levels and return back to inner peace

Positive Thinking

Enjoy the many health benefits of positive thinking 

 Meditation For Stress

Nearly all the most successful people relax for  twenty minutes a day 

Manage Anxious Thoughts

Stop fighting with your thoughts and learn how to quieten them

Overcoming Fear

Wise up to fear and learn how to tame and outsmart the beast

 Dealing With Worry

Worrying can effect your health and quality of life

Be More Successful

Tips on how to become more successful in your life

End Panic Attacks

Help to end panic attacks and general anxiety disorder

The Power Of Hypnosis

Use the power of hypnosis to tap into the software of your mind

New Years Resolutions

Out with the old and in with the new ideal and more happier you