10 Reasons Why Men Won’t Commit (And What You Can Do To Make Him Fall Under Your Spell)

What do you do when a guy you have been dating for a while is a bit slow or hesitant to commit to you?

Everything seems to be going great, you both get on well and you like each others company and you're having an amazing time.

So it is only natural that you want him to make a commitment to you and you are probably expecting things to progress to the next level and get a bit more serious.

But, then as time goes bye. Something, just doesn't seem right.

Perhaps you feel that things are not moving as fast as you would like or maybe, you just seem to spot some signs that are making you doubt and question.

Whether or not his is serious about committing to you. To you he is already acting as he is your boyfriend. But, maybe he is a bit reluctant about putting a label on it.

Or maybe perhaps you're already in a long term relationship or you're even married to a guy who you think should be taking the commitment side of things a bit more serious by now.

You can get some guys. That, no matter how much you want it. 

They just seem type that won't budge on the commitment side of things and even though you keep pushing them. 

At heart, you probably just feel like they're not going to ever make the commitment that you want. 

However. There could be many different reasons why some men hesitate to commit or why he doesn't want a relationship. 

There are some guys who fall into the category of. 

They might come across as emotionally cold. Then there are others who feel that they just need a bit more time, before they commit. 

Perhaps they have got so used to being on their own, that they have got set in their ways or they are scared to let go of what they have got so accustomed to.

Some guys might just be happy with the way things.

He may even have a fear of commitment or he might fear, that things might change and he will risk losing the good times he is having with you, once he makes that big commitment.

You may even think. What is wrong with me, or he is lucky to have me. After all, I am a nice and attractive girl who has so much to offer, so why doesn't he think I am girlfriend material.

If you feel as if your guy has a fear of commitment, all is not lost. 

Because below are some tips on what to do when he won't commit, that will show you how to even get a non committal guy to commit to you.

How to make a guy commit?

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.” ― Paulo Coelho

Before we get started about the reasons a guy doesn't want to commit to a serious relationship or why some men seem to pull away or develop a fear of commitment, as soon as things seem to be get a bit serious.

And what you can do about it.

There is one secret that you might like to know about men, who are reluctant or they don't want to commit.

Actually, there are two types of guys who fall into the category of, not wanting to commit.

The first type of non commital guy. Is the kind of guy, who loves to romance you, shower you with affection and likes to show you a wonderful time.

This is all seems great and you may soon become emotionally attached to this fun loving type of guy.

The only trouble with these types of guys is. Because of their fear of commitment, as soon as they begin to detect that things seem to be getting a bit too serious or heavy.

There inner alarm bells start to ring and they can very quickly, begin to lose interests or even disappear of the scene completely.

As you may have discovered from your past experience with these types of guys. 

The more you attempt to try and get him to make a commitment or you push him to settle down.

The more it can appear like he is trying to pull away or give you the cold shoulder.

In the end, you will probably have to come to terms with the fact. That this type of guy, is not going to marry you.

The second guy will go through the whole dating and romancing part with you, and even get all the way to marrying you and things may be great for a while.

But after that, he'll have some sort of a mid-life crisis or he will want to spend more times with his mates and bit by bit he may start to lose interest. 

Maybe, after he has done some deep soul-searching. All of a sudden, he may just decide that he still has time to get out. 

Respark The Romance and make him commit for good

What this suggest is. Deep down, this guy hasn't really committed himself, to begin with. 

Whichever situation applies to you. If you would like to shed some light on this particularly annoying trait men have. Keep reading, to find out.

And one more thing: Do you know what truly terrifies men?

If you think the answer is. 

Men are just afraid to commit and spend the rest of their natural life with one person.

Then you might be surprised to know. That this is not necessarily the case. 

In fact. Most men, would be happy to settle down and spend the rest of their life with the right woman.

What actually terrifies them. Is the thought of committing themselves to the wrong girl.

It is important that you understand that this isn’t a personal dig at you or any woman who’s ever dated a guy for that matter. 

Because. The truth is, there is not such thing as the right or wrong girl in any relationship.

That’s a relative concept, and a guy will put you in either category if he thinks that he has spotted some red flags.

Some people may not be compatible or suited to each other. But, you cannot choose who you fall in love with.

But the biggest red flag for him.

If he starts to feels like his personal freedom and individual identity are threatened; 

Because when this happens.

Then this can force him to do some serious soul searching which may make him seriously rethink and consider. Where he stands with you and what the future holds for him.

This does not apply. That you might be the controlling or possessive type, but the truth is.

There are a lot of men who have dated at least one woman like this and even though it may have only happened once to them.

It can create a negative memory which can make a guy to become a little bit guarded. Everytime he starts a new relationship.

Even if he his not fully aware that this one experiences is consciously affecting his decisions, insecurities and behaviors.

Subconsciously. This can cause him to look for any signs that might suggest that she's going to demand he give up all his free time and love her forever.

So, it helps to keep that in mind the next time you think guys are simply afraid of commitment for no reason.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, here are the biggest reasons why some men hold back, when it comes to making a commitment.

1) Because he feels that you want him to commit

This can seem a bit bizarre and cruel, to say the least. 

Especially as things might seem to be going well or you're already married or in a long term relationship.

And you might be thinking.

Why would someone purposely withhold, something you want so badly, if they had strong feeling for you?

And why on earth would he pull away, just because you want him to make a long term commitment.

Well. This does not suggest that the guys are playing psychological games or they are mean and they just want you to beg for their affection, to satisfy their ego.

What it does, suggest, is. 

A guy can put up a show of resistance, if he senses of he gets the feeling that he is being strong-armed into it.

Again, many guys are like you. They, just want a long term and loving relationship.

But any decisions that a guy makes about commiting to a woman, has to happen naturally and he needs to think that it is a mutual thing. 

A guy doesn't like to make a decision because he feels emotionally blackmailed into it or if he feels coerced into doing something against his own will or better judgement.

Otherwise, his defensive instincts are going to kick in and make the alarm bells start ringing.

Which can even make him want to get out of the relationship, for the fear of committing to the wrong type of girl for him.

All guys with any sense and feeling. Know that at some point in a relationship, that you probably are going to want things to get serious, sometime in the future.

Because unless, they are from another planet. All guys, know that as a romantic relationship grows and naturally progresses. 

Then, somewhere further down the line. The girl is usually going to want him, to make a bigger commitment. 

He already, knows this. But, he probably doesn't want to be pressurized into it too much. 

Otherwise, he’s understandably going to think twice about moving forward with you.

And the chances are. He would probably rather have you value him as a person first.

Before you start announcing wedding bells or making it official.

And the reality is. 

When two people are happy and in love. Commitment, happens naturally and things mutually progress to the next level, without having to force them to happen.

Commitment shouldn't be a thing that you should have to push to hard for. It should happen, because you both want it to happen and you both feel that you're ready for it to happen.

2) He's reluctant to commit because he felt duped

Ok, let me preface this by telling you that I’m not assuming you’re the type of woman who’d intentionally attempts to manipulate or “play” a guy in some way.

But the one thing that can turn a guy off you is when their perception of you were at the start of your relationship suddenly gets turned on its head.

You can often notice a typical pattern in a lot of couples:
  • Girl meets guy
  • They both hit it off, and they enjoy each other’s company 
  • Because things are going so well the girl wants things to progress a bit further. But secretly , the girl starts to become a bit anxious because things aren’t moving fast enough or he’s not going to commit himself to her
  • Boy slowly feels more and more cornered as girl has “The talk about it” with him, a bit more frequently than he’s comfortable with
  • Boy feels tricked that the fun girl he met has turned into a needy and insecure person who needs an answer from him right now
Like we have already mentioned. Guys are not suddenly shocked, because they know their woman wants a commitment out of him. 

It’s more of a case of, all of a sudden, everything has seemed to have changed and he can start to feel like the that dark clouds are beginning to hovering over the relationship. 

Because, one of the worse things that you can do. Is to push or demand for a answer or decision.

Because when the need for commitment takes overtakes the sense of fun, wonder and amazement. Then he’s going to feel a little bit cheated.

His internal monologue, might go something like this.

“Where has the awesome girl I hit on at that party gone or what has happened to that fun loving girl I met all those years ago? 

This is not what I signed up for…”

And it doesn't matter if you've been dating for a few months, you're in a long term relationship or married to him for a few years or more. 

Many men will go through this stage of their relationship, sooner or later.

Commitment is a necessary ingredient for a long term, happy and fulfilling relationship. We all like to feel secure.

But, sometimes the best way to make your relationship last. Is to work on keeping the fun, love and wonder going.

Because, when things are wonderful. Why, change them.

3) Your guy doesn’t feel accepted

This may surprize you, but this can be a big deal for men.

Beneath that suave, debonair and macho exterior he puts up for the rest of the world, there’s a whole set of insecurities most women don’t know about.

A lot of these come from the people he grew up with, like his family or the folks he went to school with. 

Any negative experiences he had with them left a bad taste in his mouth, whether he wants to or not.

Then there’s the matter of past relationships. Like you, it’s likely that not all of them ended well, and I’m willing to bet he got burned by a few of his exes.

Anyway, all of this boils down to the fact that all of this has contributed to whatever negative perception he has of himself. 

Trust me, every guy has a version of his inner critic, and it’s not pretty.

And so if his partner heaps too much criticism on him in the relationship, that’s going to set off some alarms in his head. 

Yes, guys do want their egos handled with care when it comes to the woman in their life, but it’s not about that.

What he wants is someone who accepts him on a basic level and doesn’t disapprove of who he is.
By that, I mean his interests, fashion choices, the people in his life and his basic values.

So those insecurities are going to come knocking when he feels like his identity is under attack. 

Here’s something I’ve learned from couples who’ve been together for decades. Not only do they learn to accept their differences, they also respect them instead of attacking each other over it.

And speaking of which, that brings us to the next reason.

4) He is experiencing a serious lack of respect

This is one is even bigger on a guy’s list. In fact, this could be top of his list.

Sad to say, but there are a lot of shows on the air that make it funny, hip and cool to have a bash at guys.

Of course, sometimes it may be justified, because there are some truly vile, egotistic and bad men out there.

Who totally deserve what’s coming to them, but that’s not what we are talking about.

Because, although some woman see all men as the same. This is simple not true.

And there a lot of sensitive and good men out there that are secretly bothered and offended by the negative stereotypes thrown at them these days.

Below are a few typical types of examples
  • All guys in a relationship are just dumb, clueless schmucks who are lucky to have such an awesome, smart woman in their life
  • Men are allergic to commitment and just want the next “wham bam thank you ma’am” notch on their belt
  • Guys have no feelings, they are hard to read and emotionally unavailable
  • Men are meat-headed, beer drinking and testosterone-fueled jerks who are only after one thing and they don’t care about other people’s feelings
Again, it’s important to point out that there are some men who fit into these categories. 

Bur most men are no different from you, and guys do have feelings. There just not very good at showing them.

But generalizing all men as the same, doesn’t help the problem or help to form a loving, happy and fulfilling relationship.

And I know this is a difficult thing to talk about, but this kind of climate and generalization, does make some guys defensive. 

Because, when a guy's partner is constantly trashing him or putting him down, in subtle (or not-so-subtle) ways, this decreases his desire to commit.

This problem is surprisingly easy to deal with.

The easiest way to go about this is to, start to make a habit of giving him a bit of praise, everytime he does something good for you.

By doing this. He will make more effort to try and please you and do great things for you.

Because it is a natural instinct for a guy to play and fulfill the provider/protector role in a relationship and they will take great pleasure from doing this.

Although times are changing. To a degree, to make a relationship work. Men still need to be men and women need to be woman.

So when you regularly offer words of kindness, praise and admiration, it’ll secretly lift his spirits even if he doesn’t tell you.

Praising him when you're alone, will fill him with a sense of pride but you can create an even bigger effect on him if you praise him in public. 

Nothing gets a makes a guy’s heart swell more than his partner telling her friends and family what an awesome guy he is.

Even if you've been together for a long time, doing this will still have an impact on him. 

Of course, it's even better if you get into this habit while your relationship is still relatively new.

5) The relationship feels like a chore

Most relationships start of with a bang, where you both go out of your way to make a good impression and your partner can seem to do no wrong.

You know that “spark” in the early stages of a relationship that people talk about, and how it fades over time?

But, the spark and romance doesn't have to fade. After all, if things are great as they are. Why not continue and have more of the same?

But, that’s exactly what happens when a girl turns the relationship into her mission in life rather than having a blast with her man. 

Of course, you could say the same thing about your partner as it takes two to tango.

But looking from a guy’s perspective, there are some things his partner can do keep the relationship from feeling “heavy” in general:

Learn to be flexible when you can. Do you really have to eat at that Brazilian restaurant with your guy…or can you adjust your sails and find another place that isn’t insanely packed tonight? 

Men need to know their partner can adapt when needed and doesn’t always need everything to be “just so”.

Make plans with him on short notice. Get him tickets to that concert he mentioned last week, set up a spontaneous date, take him to an impromptu weekend paintball session, go out of town and visit that cool museum he’s been wanting to check out, and so on…

Create awesome and memorable shared experiences – this naturally creates a feeling of closeness between two people.

I know women who've been able to improve their relationship big time because of this one step. 

Whether they started dating a few months ago and want to kick things up a notch or they've been married for years and things were getting stale, it's just as effective.

The more you can infuse the relationship with a sense of adventure, spontaneity and well, FUN, the more he’ll be associate those positive feelings with you.

And when that happens, he knows he’s got a keeper

6) He doesn’t feel as if he is getting enough support

Most men get it that you’re not into stock car racing, action flicks and sci-fi related stuff. 

They also understand if assembling desktop computers, doing extreme sports or playing fantasy-based trading card games doesn’t turn your crank.

What men don’t like however, is when their woman doesn’t support their passions on a basic level.
Any reasonable guy doesn’t expect you to actually 

Like any of that stuff. But he does hope you at least let him go off and explore this part of himself.

That’s why guys will have a hard time seeing a woman’s “girlfriend potential” if his hobbies, interests and side projects are met with a disdainful – or in some cases, condescending – attitude.

It matters to him when can occasionally show up with him to one of those “boring” conventions or let him introduce you to his ham radio group. 

With just a little support, you can be the cool girlfriend or wife who wants to be part of his world. 

7) He feels like he is being micromanaged

When a guy starts dating a new girl, he’s usually going to have these types of questions playing in the back of his mind:
  • “Is she going to ask me to stop seeing my friends and want me to spend all day shopping with her?”
  • “Will she keep texting me or asking me to check in with her every hour we’re apart?”
  • When I’m out with the boys, is she going to demand I send her a picture every now and then so she’s sure I’m not fooling around?”
  • “Do I need to text her first thing in the morning. Then every few hours, up until he goes to bed?”
  • “Can I give her my honest opinion about something without her freaking out?”
  • “Do I have to top toe around things or do I have to run every decision past her first so we don’t get into a screaming argument later on?”
I know this sounds a bit illogical, but this taps into that fear guys have about losing their basic sense of freedom. 

He doesn’t even know he’s asking himself these questions - but it’s there in his subconscious.
Logic has little to do with it, and you can easily avoid making him feel this way. 

A little self-awareness when dealing with your guy will stop him from seeing you as the gatekeeper in his life.

And for the married women out there, this is still worth keeping in mind.

8) He doesn't feel like he is ready

There are some cases when a guy is legitimately unable to be in a relationship at a certain stage in his life.

Of course, there are a bunch of dumb reasons guys give for leaving, like he’s busy with his career, he needs time on his own or whatever.

But if he’s just got out of a bad relationship and jumped straight into the dating pool, this can be a problem for both of you.

It’s likely he’s still got a ton of emotional baggage and other trust issues he hasn’t processed yet.

And even if he thinks he’s ready to get back on the old horse, he’ll quickly realize that he’s not in that emotional place to commit.

If you do get a guy like this, it’s going to suck for sure. However, give him the benefit of the doubt and try to see it from his side.

Chalk it up to a hasty decision and don’t take it personally.

9) The communication between you, is out of sync

One of the characteristics guys look for in a potential partner is her ability to express herself without turning it into a negative experience for both of them.

Sooner or later, you’re going to have to deal with your disagreements and differences. And if you've been together for a long time, you know what I'm talking about.

If your guy thinks that you handle these things in a toxic way, he’s going to hold back on committing himself.

Here’s a quick checklist of things to watch out for:
  • During a difficult conversation, is there are a lot of antagonism, hostility, passive-aggressiveness and sarcasm?
  • Do you find yourself taking cheap shots at him, or vice-versa?
  • Are you more interested in “winning” the argument rather than actually getting to the root of your disagreement?
  • Do you try to solve the conflict by seeing it as a “we” problem that requires you both to make some changes, rather than something that’s “his fault”?
  • Do you feel that he needs to intuitively know what you’re thinking? 
  • On another note, do you keep quiet about a certain issue, then feel bad he doesn’t how you feel about it?
These are some of the major factors that weigh heavily in a guy’s mind. If he senses this part of the relationship isn’t working well, it could cause him to pull away.

10) The passion isn’t there

It would be a narrow-minded assumption to presume that to think that this is all guys think about and guys are only interested in doing the deed and nothing more.

It is often said, that men are hardwired to focus on the physical side of things and woman are more focused on the emotional side.

And, although, you might get some guys who are only interested in one thing. This is not the case with most men, and the majority of men have feelings, even though they might not always show them.

Infact. Contrary to popular belief and perception, men need a lot of physical and emotional validation from their partner. 

A guy will have a hard time giving himself to someone if he’s not happy on both of these fronts.

And most of the time, it’s not about the “main event” when it comes to sex. 

Guys love the chase and the delicious anticipation of things to come, and most importantly, being teased or having you drop a few subtle hints, of what is to come.

Nothing sets a man’s blood on fire more and fills him with passion, than the feeling of being wanted by his partner. 

This principal appiles if you've been seeing him for a week, or you have three kids and a mortgage between you. 

You can't afford to neglect this part of your relationship.

Try dropping hints about what you want to do to him throughout the day (like sending him spicy texts or emails), or tease him a bit, before he leaves for work.

By doing this, you're sure to have him thinking about you, all day long.

Heck, a lot of guys even want to be a little objectified. Tell him how great he looks from behind in his new jeans, or how you like watching him get sweaty changing your car tire. 

Men, are still preprogrammed with those caveman primal urges and desires.

These drives are what has kept our species thriving and ongoing. So, anything that appeals to his caveman side is going leave a lasting impression on him.

With the stresses and strains of modern life. It’s not always easy keeping a relationship happy and fun, let alone getting your guy to commit and not pull away from you.

And it might even seem unfair that you’re doing all the work. I don’t want you to think that he shouldn’t do his part. That’s not what I mean at all.

What I do want you understand however, is that a guy will want to stay once he sees the right signs that you’re the one, and when you flip those switches in his mind, making him commit won’t take any work at all.

But, if you're prepared to put in a bit of groundwork, then he will start to fall under your spell.

Because. If you can make him feel like you’re not like the other women he’s met before, that you’re the type of person who rocks his world and above all, be the woman he can't live without.

Then you don’t have to lift a finger to make him stay. 

And you’ll never need to be worried about him pulling away, growing cold, acting distant or being “afraid” of commitment again.

All you need to do is Respark The Romance. 

If you want to make him commit to you or if you want to put the spark back into your relationship.

Check out the free video presentation now to learn the secrets to male commitment and make him yours for good 

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